THE JOYS

So the chat with teen, was all about what a bad mother I am. How since I have married Hub, some years ago, I have stopped loving and  caring for him.

This is why he also told me I need to stop asking him where he is, because I don’t care, this is why I don’t want him drinking with friends, because I don’t care?

This is why I am stressed to heck, because of his exams which he is not doing half the study or work he should be doing, because I don’t care?

I love that boy more than he or anyone will ever know, the problem is, he was  my life, when I didn’t have one. I overcompensated care for him because his father was so cruel and dreadful. So I had to be Mum and Dad, as well as nurse maid and councillor, to protect him  as much as possible.

Now, he is grown up, he has changed, I have realised I have to live for myself, and stop being such a push over in life, and try to have some sort of life for myself. Or my Son will be without a Mother from a young age.

He swears at me and talks to me like dirt, my poor Husband says he feels like a stranger in  his own house.

My teen says he hates the house.

Oh deep and forever lasting joy.

My Yam spoke to teen on the phone for an hour, bless her, she does not need any of our rubbish in her life, but he loves her and will listen in fact when I went to see if I could speek to her, she had gone, God knows who put the phone down first, I hope it ended friendly ? but he did say sorry, then asking if I was going to say sorry?

Em,

 no!

Oh, what to do? I just don’t know. He wants more freedom, he can have it, but he can’t expect me to be all loving to him and then  turning off when it suits him?

I have to let him go I know I am over protective, but one thing I will not do is allow him and Bunches in his bedroom.

He is furious about that.

Her Mother has made that rule in her  house, but I can’t? He says he will never need to bring her here again if he is not allowed that, OK, not more teas to make for them both.

Oh there was so much more said, of course week, me ended up getting rather tearful.

Dreading Hub going away.

Santiago next week.

We have a man making a fence coming here tomorrow.

I was looking forward to going to the town with hub, but will have to stay here now.

  So hub on his  own, oh God I hope he will be OK? He has never done the town without my help? Haha.

Until tomorrow and we have half term here in the UK? Wish me luck? x