THE DIARY OF LITTLE WAGGATAIL

23 Feb 2013

Hay Doggets, it’s me, Little Waggatail. I’m bored stiff? I want to go out for a free run, but Mummy doesn’t know the route yet and there is a one close by to us, but Mummy says no, because she already finds it hard to get me to be convinced to get passed the lovely, green grass when  we are going to the shop.

Oh, all those balls going to waste. I could kill at least three of them.

I have been out working a couple of times this week so far though, and I did really great, apart from that time I walked Mummy threw a lady? Hehehehehe. Class?

   Oh, you should see my Mummy bounce?

“Boing, boing!”  Hehehe!

Right, what else, have I done this week, oh, one thing that made Mummy laugh, and I almost doodled myself.

My old fat sister, BB, lay   there, like a black pudding. So I had no one to play with,  LC, was in London, visiting the Queen with Daddy.  So I head butted BB, hehehehehehe.

Well, after seven buts to the brain, BB, got cross and made a noise? I almost died so I did that thing, I got into trouble for when I was little. Em, almost  too ashamed to say, as I knew I shouldn’t. 

Barked?

One woof only though?

I scared myself so much I jumped through the air, over BB, landing on Mummy’s knee. Good job Mummy wasn’t drinking a cup of tea?

Oh my voice is so high? I really sounded stupid?

BB laughed at me. I felt silly, but Mummy didn’t even tell me off.

Oh we have a posh toilet. A hairy man came and made it for us.

Thank Goodness, no one can see us Doodling now. Privacy at last.

I  got wrong today, because I pinched Mummy’s chamois leather. Oh I didn’t realise, how good it tastes? Yum. Mummy went mad, but I did give her it back,  all slimy and so very soggy, oh, and a little ripped?

Hehehehehehe.

Well I was fed up, no duster to play with, so then I pinched our grooming brush, hey, that is a great toy?

I got wrong for that too. Then I  brought a stone in from the garden. Mummy must have  been thirsty, as she told me that was the final straw.

   it kind of worked, as Mummy got all of our toys out for us. BB doesn’t really play, but    LC did, and it was great, oh, we went wild?

Then Mummy went and spoiled it and took them all away.

Hmm.

Hehehehe? I had a plan. I  rolled Mummy’s rug up and played jumping over the bump. That was fun?

Then Mummy got that thing out with the long tube that makes that awful

“Oo oo

Sound, and when I got too close to it the other day, Mummy, yes, my Mummy, almost sucked me up in the box thing?

I did not like that. Hay though, it is great, my two sisters and I make loads and loads of black hairs on Mummy’s floor, so that tube thing, takes them all away?

But I thought, if it  does that to our hairs, what will it do to us?

I’m keep in a wide birth from that in the future.

Oh I have lost my bell and disc with my name on it. Mummy doesn’t know where I am now?

Hehehehe?

She has looked everywhere even asked that little fella who must  be my brother, as he almost says Mummy too, he does not put the ee, on the end of Mum though.

 So he must be kind of a brother to us?

He keeps taking my picture on his square thing he talks through. That looks a fun toy? Might have a go of that later on. Oh  I heard him saying he was going to bring a playmate back for me, called Bunches. She is funny, she screams when LC and I go near her. We play click the dress game?

I like that one, see who can make Bunches dress tear the most?

Hehehehe. Class?

She doesn’t like playing that though? Don’t know why?

Right must give Mummy her lap dance back now.

Lots of licks.