DIARY OF OUR WEEKEND MEMORIES BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good morning Bloggets. Hub and I are smiling because our gardener has arrived. He is so sweet and we asked him to cut the nasty spikes or thorns that are coming through our fence from next doors dreadful Pyracantha. Well we thought a snip here and a snip there. Oh no, not our guy, it’s like a motorbike has got lost and found itself in our back yard. It’s a petrol machine. Fantastic, that will sort them out. I kind of cringed as the people are in their garden now as he cuts. He doesn’t care, he is so funny rock hard on the outside but I am sure has a heart of gold. He is from the same organisation as my ex worked at and they produce what we call grafters. Hard workers. Having said that, typical, it’s started to rain now. So not sure how much will get done today.

 

Yesterday I baked a quiche and some cheese scones. There are no scones left and as for the quiche, haha. I think there may be three slices. My Son loves it when I bake, he has gone to work today, reluctantly, why? Laters. I did his lunch. He has been eating only healthy food for weeks so I thought I would treat him. I put in his pack a slice of quiche, a cheese scone, two Mediterranean tuna wraps I made and small slice of homemade Pizza.

 

So, why was he not keen to go to work? Oh boy, yesterday he did his Mud race. It has a proper name but I can’t remember what it is called something to do with mud. I’m delighted to say that it was boys only and Shamrock worked so he was allowed to have a kind of boy’s day out. He did the gruelling tasks and completed it all. 13 miles. He loved it. They are all going again next year. He came home and got changed to go out for an Indian meal with the lads. He wasn’t out too long and the lads went onto have a drink but BW came home early, with Sham who kindly met him in town and drove him home. So, he was in for half nine.

 

He can hardly walk today. He wanted to ring in sick. Cruel Mummy put that look of disappointment on her face. He can read me like a book. I said there may be a day when you are really ill, this illness is self-inflicted. Bless I do feel bad, but he has gone in and I’m very proud of him but I don’t think he is very happy with me. But I know it’s a lesson for him and in the long run he will feel better by doing so. I said even if you come home half day at least you have tried. But todays shift isn’t too late though he has the responsibility of closing which to be honest is a micky take. They better start to show their gratitude soon and give him the money he deserves for all of the responsibility they are putting onto him. Right now, they are paying him pennies and getting him to open, close and with that comes all the paperwork, and making sure staff are doing what they should be as well as locking and securing everything up and making sure health and safety is all in order.

 

Yesterday my dog walking lady came. She is so kind to the dogs. And so responsible. She is an angel. I also got a new handy man. He came and hung some decorative plates up for me as well as a horseshoe outside for luck. Hmm. Still didn’t win the Lottery yesterday. He has dug a hole in our patio as well for the new washing line to go into. Fantastic. My first washing line in our house. Now I just need good weather. So, some great help of late which makes our life so much easier. But it has took forever to get these people. We have sorted out the rubbish and now have been left with I hope just people who want to work. I was talking with our neighbour yesterday and she was saying too that she has been trying to get people to do work for her for ages and no luck. Another friend asked for the number of the joiner we knew, obviously, I didn’t pass that one onto her, but I did give her the number of a joiner/cabinet maker we found through my friend Arty.

 

My Waggatail thinks she is going on a free run today, but she aint. I’m not even sure we will be going out today, so I think play time in the backyard and grooming is in store for our dogs.

 

Dinner tonight, I may make a steak casserole for the boys. For me, not sure.

 

Hub is listening to the radio there is cricket on. Gosh, how can anyone listen to that? I love it when we are at our friend’s house and we can hear it live from the field behind her house, it’s so English and peaceful. But on the radio? Yawn, double yawn. Hub loves his sport.

 

Twenty minutes later, our guy is still revving his machine up outside. Heck, what will be left? Will our neighbours come around and complain? Well, thankfully it’s not our lovely neighbour Julie, we don’t know this one. Smile. We may be meeting up with them soon though. Our gardener said he has chopped their pear tree too. He said it was 15 feet tall. How will they reach their pears? Haha.

 

Hub and I were reminiscing about his parents last night he was telling me funny stories about them. I remember when I first went to their house I have written about this before, it was the quintessential English country house. As I got out of the car I heard hen’s chickens in the back garden of next door. The birds sang beautiful country songs and the smells in my parent in laws gardens were amazing. That was the day I met with the twins, Hubs brothers too. Oh, and another person… Hmm. Well at the time I thought she was going to be OK. But we live and learn. But the rest of them were great. What a fantastic memory I have of that day. I so miss my Mother in law.

 

OK it’s gone quiet out there I best go and offer a cup of tea to our guy. I hope your weekend has been one full of kindness and more than one person has thought of you. If not, well at least one person has, me. With love.

   

TO WAKE AND SEE THE SUN BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 

What it must be like to wake up in the morning because the sun is shining too brightly through your window? To turn to look at your clock to see if you can afford five more minutes in bed! Go to the bathroom and see your face in the mirror. Shower, knowing what bottle is shampoo and what bottle is shower gel. Put on your make up know what you look like and see if that hairstyle is becoming for you. Pick out your clothes, without any stress. Make sure your shoes match your handbag. Just to make your breakfast opening the fridge and seeing what you fancy to eat. Read your morning newspaper. Pick up your keys by just seeing them. To drive to work. At the end of the day, book a holiday on line anywhere of your choice. To just meet with friends after work without it being a problem. Mingle in that busy bar. Coming home looking at photographs on your wall of loved ones. Sleeping in the peace you are free!

 

I go to bed in the dark and wake up in the dark for me to see, the time, I have to either feel dots or make something talk. I have a bathroom mirror as my house is as if I have sight. Mirrors in most rooms. I look to the mirror with hope, then deep sadness. I can’t see what bottles to wash my hair in, so I have to tear a off a bit of the label, or add a label with dots again to tell the difference between my cosmetics. I do my hair, it feels nice, but does that style look good on me? I do wear makeup but is it on correctly? Is there enough on? After all, I’m getting on a bit… 34 next year. Smile a girl can dream.

 

As for my clothes, seriously, last night I couldn’t sleep just stressing about what to wear today. I want to look the same as everyone else, I don’t want to stick out more than I already do. When I bought those shoes, I was told they were dark blue, but navy? Royal? Cobalt? Or another shade of blue? Is my hand bag the same shade?

 

I make breakfast. I know where I have put things in the fridge, I remember taking so long doing that when my shopping arrived. Methodically I put things back in the same way, already before I eat there is so much stress in my life, not huge stress but lots that accumulate towards a mess by the end of the day.

 

My morning papers have to involve wires. Voices normally too. I know where my keys are, because I put them in the exact place each night. I have to. Again, taking more time to do so each day.

 

There is no luxury for a car for me, no matter the weather I walk to our bus stop. I worry that it’s not going to come on time. I don’t want to be late. It pulls up. Is it mine? Where is there a seat? Will I get tutted at because I have to touch a shoulder to see if there is anyone on that seat?

 

I have to do better in my day at work because if I make a mistake, oh, it’s because I’m blind. Well that’s what they will say. Holiday? Well, of course I go on holiday, but I have to pick a holiday where I know as in the area. Where I have spent long days working out routes or where there will be people who organise activities, I can’t go on a relaxing holiday where I walk to the beach and pick a restaurant anyone of my choice, I can’t just go to any country, not on my own. I have been abroad with my Husband and he is also blind, but it’s room to restaurant and bar then back to room with perhaps a taxi taking us to our destination of theatre but when we did that, the taxi dropped us off half a mile away from the theatre then when we got there, after calling in at a huge shop, then cinema, then finding the theatre we should have been at twenty minutes earlier, learning where  to get our tickets from, and learning there was a queue, but we kind of jumped it, to the disgrumpled crowd. We learned that the theatre had a flood that day and our show had been cancelled. “Oh, don’t worry, you can go to the other theatre, it’s just that way.” Well, which way? We were in London. We hadn’t a clue where to go. But because we are pretty amazing, smile, we did get to see a production. It was absolutely rubbish, and not what we had payed to see or wanted to see and had been looking forward to seeing for months, but hey, ho, we saw something at a totally different theatre and guess what? No taxis could pull up to that theatre either, but don’t worry we were told, go down there up those steps, cross that road and you will come across this and that before you get to a taxi rank. Oh, great, just like that. Try closing your eyes love put a scarf over them and walk. Listen for the silent bikes coming towards you and when you get to a road, watch out for the traffic, you won’t see it but you will hear it. As for steps? Well, up or down, I’m sure you will find them but it’s OK, because at the end of your test, you can remove the scarf and open your eyes.

 

We can meet with friends and colleagues but as for mingling? It’s hard. When it’s noisy to us we are then blind as well as partially deaf because voices cannot be heard enough to understand what they are saying, for sighted people they lip read and use body language.

As for our photographs? Glass squares or paper cards. Nothing on them. No colour images nothing. But I have hope. One day I will see the sun.

  

© Fiona Cummings

 

  

DIARY OF DIVERSITY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good day Bloggets. Oh, it’s an absolutely beautiful day. It is forecast for rain, but right now I’m sitting at my outdoor office. Well, in my garden I have a round glass table with rather rustic, or should that be rusty? Legs. I know how it feels! The chair I’m on is comfortable. It’s orange my in colour though I bought these chairs last year. Where I have the table, Hub hates it as it’s a bit of a challenge. Just as you step down from our back doorstep, the chairs greet you, so one has to squeeze one selves past them. The other place we used to have the dining set was at the top of the garden in the sun and it was too hot to even sit there, also we are getting a washing pole put in the ground and the top of the garden is the only flat part apart from right outside the back door. The bit in the middle is on a hill. So, we are limited where to put things.

 

My Son found our lovely cherub ornament. It was hiding under shrubs. I love her. Well, could be a him. I think cherubs normally are him, aren’t they? Just this one is very lady like with what looks like longish hair. Of course, her hair is made from stone the same as her body. And, she is sitting next to a lily where you are supposed to put water in for the birds. I will get around to that. I had a lovely bird bath brand new in my house ready to go out when all of the building work was finished, but sadly that found itself in someone else’s house, or garden.

 

I have an ornament of a hedgehog to a lady hedgehog and I know she is a lady, because she again in stone is wearing a long dress and apron with a frilly hat. She is pushing a wheelbarrow.

What do you mean you have never seen a hedgehog in clothes? Pushing a wheelbarrow? Well, you have not lived yet, wait a bit longer and I’m sure one will pass by your garden. All you need to do is have pretty flowers and dog biscuits and they will flatten their spikes up and dress up for you. Smile. Okay, I’m crazy.

 

This morning I went to the vet. Oh, my new vet. I really didn’t want to go because of the principle. We were with a big vet and they were awful to my last dog she was dying bless her and they tried to get me to take her home she couldn’t get up from the floor we had to carry her in a taxi she had been ill for a week at the vet three times and each time they said she was fine. Oh my, she was so far from fine, her fur was pouring out of her later we learned that her blood had stopped flowing causing the fur to come out. She wouldn’t eat or drink. She couldn’t hardly walk leading up to her last day. She was in so much pain. She never complained the only time she moved during the day was for me to take her to do her doggy doodles and when Hub came in from work. She loved her Daddy so much. And Hubs last dog LC, adored my dog and when she used to come home after work, LC used to lay by my dog’s side all night, that wasn’t like her as she was full of excitement and didn’t lay down. So, when we got a new vet not far from us, I was so pleased to change vets. But as soon as that vet opened, this big vet I went to before opened a clinic next to us. About ten minutes’ walk away. Hub moved vets immediately. I was not going to because firstly, I didn’t like the way in which they treat dogs. Each time we went we saw a different person and most times it was a nurse not a vet. And even though they put my Black Beauty to forever sleep, six months later, they still sent me a reminder to say her injections were due. Shocking. I was so upset by their lack of attention. Secondly, it’s a fact, every time a small

 vet tries to open a practice; this big company open a place next to them to try to eat all of the business. Dreadful. Well I have managed to stick to my beliefs for three years almost, can you believe old Bloggets it’s almost been that long since I lost my first guide dog? Soon it will be two years since we lost Long Chops, Hubs dog, AKA Suki.

 

It’s that road, I really cannot cross it. We have a couple of times but it’s like a death trap waiting to catch us. Cars do not slow down even though we stand with two guide dogs and remember when I fell almost a couple of years ago? I fell on the road, and, cars just drove around me. Hub isn’t impressed that I won’t cross there as everything we could need is over that road, but I’m scared. So, we don’t have to cross over there to get to this vet.

 

Well Waggatail is fine but she has a wart on her eyelid. If it gets bigger it could scratch her cornea. So, we have to watch out for it, how? Not sure as it’s not something we can feel, around her eye. But her weight is good, 27k and she was a good girl there, once I got her in. She sat at the door and refused to walk in. Good job I took a treat. A small biscuit later, she went in. She really is a belly on legs, though she is slim she is a typical Labrador.

 

She was so good today. There were loads of obstacles. So many hanging trees and shrubs. Right across the path we had to almost walk on the road. And a stupid van had parked on the path. Why when the car park was just next to the kerb? Not sure, but it was parked outside our local Pizza takeaway shop and I have heard that they get very wrong things delivered. Then deliver them to you if you ask nicely.

 

On the way back I bumped into, not literally, a lovely lady from our church. I say our church, we haven’t been for ages. They have a new vicar and Hub just is a traditionalist and wasn’t too keen on the new way of church. But this lady is such a sweetheart. We chatted for a while, I love living here because people are just so very friendly.

 

Hub is working from home and I can’t get on with housework. That’s my excuse. For those who read yesterday’s blog, I have forgot all about ironing, OK?

 

Not sure what’s for dinner tonight. BW is not eating normal food. He is on a diet. I can’t keep up with him. Firstly, he wants to be a mean muscle machine all pumped up. Now he needs to get lean. He is so lean. I have seen more fat on a chip.

 

He says he is shrinking. I say it’s bending down to kiss Shamrock. She is only 4ft 11. What’s that, about 1.6 metres? Roughly anyway, she is beyond tiny. He is, or was 6 feet 4 inches.1.10? again I’m rubbish at modern terminology when it comes to measurements. I like feet and inches. Also, the numbers are just easier to remember as there are less of them.

 

 

 No wonder my mind is all over the place, there is so much diversity in our life. Our lovely friend is abroad right now, and today he went to see a pal he made when he first went to this country seven years ago. The pal, lives in a cave so our friend today took him some water and biscuits. Haha. Our friend can’t speak Spanish and the pal can’t talk English. But hey, water and biscuits are International, right?  We have a man coming to our house tonight. From a distance. To look at some little jobs that need doing like pictures that need hanging and our washing line that needs to go up before the blooming winter comes. He was a window cleaner. And? Your point? Haha. Oh heck. Here we go. My other friend is in India. Not on holiday, nothing to do with her job. She has fallen in love with a man from India. She is beautiful. Tall and has a very young outlook on life with a great job and has been divorced for six years has turned down many men didn’t want a relationship until she met a man when she was on holiday in some other country other than England or India last year. I can’t remember which country but anyway, he was on business she holidays. They met fell in love and haven’t seen each other since but have communicated ever since via electronic devices. So now she has gone out there to meet with his family. She is very rich so no worries about money but if the relationship continues and she wants it too as she is madly in love, she will live in India. Her two children are all grown up but I don’t think they are impressed that their Mum is going away from them. Another friend of mine went to work this morning, with shoulder length brown hair and glasses. Fingernails bit to the bone. Half way there, decided to call in sick. She took herself to a friend’s house, and got her hair cut short, died blonde, then went to another pal who has a beautician and got faults nails put on then at four today, across the road from where she was due to work until quarter past three, she will go to a pre-planned appointment to get contact lenses. So, what will her Husband think on her return? One thing for sure, no one from the work windows will know she is at the opticians as they won’t recognise her. Haha. Talk about out with the old in with the new!

 

I have thought about getting those nails, as I also bine mine. Rather pick them when anxious. So, they are well picked. My Hub goes mad as he says my nails are strong and shiny smooth but I can’t help it. But re pretend nails, I don’t like anything that isn’t natural. My hair is still natural blonde and long there isn’t anything I would change about it, as for glasses? I wish. Smile. So, no need for contact lenses. Young outlook on life? yes, but with old fashioned values. Befriending someone in a cave? Em. So far, I haven’t had the pleasure. A wild man who used to live in the woods many years ago, but hey, that’s another very scary story. As for fallen in love with a man from India? Haha. That would be telling. I love my friends as they are all so very different but we seem to have something in common as I get on with them all as much as they get on with me. I like different, I like kind people and I like a little bit of risk and as I’m a bit of everything, trapped in a blanket of safety, I guess that is what they like about me.

 

OK I best go in as it’s getting chilly now. Suddenly it’s become windy. And my eyes are itching with possible allergy. Odd as this year I have not been bothered by allergy’s.

Will make my love a cup of tea and something to eat. He is working hard. Have a great weekend. X

 

 

DIARY OF LIFE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good day . It’s almost the end of our working day. Boy Wonder came in from work not too happy. He has been up most mornings at half five too early to think about work. I don’t know how my Husband gets up each work day at half six.

 

I was just saying to a lovely lady on line she sounds like me. As she wrote of her day. I do the same as her, clean a room, write, lean another room and write some more. Make dinner and guess what? Write. It’s an obsession for me, but an obsession I love. I breathe through my words. I don’t know how I coped during the transition between writing in print then after losing my sight to eventually learning about the software I use now on my lap top called Jaws which enables me to write. I think the gap was about 6 years and now, to go ten days without being able to write, as that is the longest I have gone in thirteen years, almost killed me. My head is so full of life and words, conversations there’s a party going on in there. So many voices the noise is awful as if scratching my brain and the only way I can deal with life is to allow some of those voices out and let them talk on paper, or, on screens. Mad? Yep, absolutely. And I love this kind of madness though there are times when I do wish I wasn’t a writer or, never had been as once a writer, always a writer, it’s a passion. We write, or we should, because we get something out of it, whether it be to help others, help ourselves or just to live in a world of fantasy.

 

I often say my escape in life is to write. If I write a poem or short story, I can be anyone. I’m free. My writing has been for me many times therapy. I never thought the whole world though would be a part of my therapy. Yep, that’s you!

And you, sitting at your desk, glad you are here, as for you sitting back in the sun, lucky you, it’s rained all day here. I can’t complain, we have had a beautiful summer. My lovely Carrie was asking a couple of questions, Carrie, our Blogget from Canada wanted to know who was BW. Boy Wonder, my Son, he can’t be the teen any more. Sadly, he’s twenty now. She was asking about the race too, it’s the one my Son is taken part in soon I think it comes from America. Basically, you pay a fortune to get so dirty with mud and you climb up walls with water gushing down at you. You carry someone on your back for a mile/1.6klm

I think you swim too but I may be wrong. I normally am. In total, it’s 13 miles. The day he is due to do it, it’s forecast to rain.

 

Blogget Carrie also asked what is a courgette? I think she may call it a zucchini

 

Talking with my forever cheerful friend today, we got onto the subject of eyesight and if there will ever be a treatment for blindness. She said no, never. Hahaha. Thanks ever so much sighted one.

I do wonder though, as I have said before, it’s looking very unlikely that I will see in my lifetime. Only our maker can do that as scientists are too busy messing about in my opinion.   How depressing that I first heard of this camera 20 years ago and still we are trying to develop it to perfection. To me perfection is to see even to be partially sighted, not so I see shapes. I want to see the love in my dearest’s eyes or tears of joy, a smile upon a face or a hand-written birthday card. Photographs of my future Grandchildren and to be able to take them to the local park and not be worrying that a dreadful person is watching them for bad intentions. I want to watch my grandchildren at their first swimming lessons or in their school play. I missed my own child right through his life, I don’t want to be in the same place when my Grand Children come along, of course I can go to school plays/performances as I did with my Son. But I know my Son knew I was there but I couldn’t see him. At parent evenings, kids sat outside with their friends my Son came to the different teachers with me because they were too ignorant to come to me. And as for going to his nursery school to see his work? He would have to tell me what was in the books what he had drawn because the teachers just didn’t want to know. Sadly, many years later, my friends who have young children and who also can’t see, are still going through all this rubbish at school. Things have improved for disabled children but not for parents.

 

I also don’t want the worry or guilt of my Grand children having my eye disease. So, I guess I get frustrated when it comes to the speed in which we seem to not be travelling in when it comes to treatment for those who are blind.

 

OK, didn’t mean this blog to turn into a grumpy pumpy Fifi. So, I shall try to end on a lighter note.

My friend told me today about someone she knows who opened a dog grooming shop some years ago across the road from a pub. She called her shop. (Hair of the dog) She has just opened another shop called Barker and bone house. We have a furniture shop in the UK called Barker and Stonehouse. I think she is a genius.

 

 

LAST NIGHT EATING WITH THE ELEPHANTS BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Well, last night, I spent two hours making what I hoped would be a delicious meal for the family only to learn that my Son didn’t want it and my Husband was going to be late from work not that he told me until almost six in the evening.  He told me when he was still in transit. We normally eat at quarter to six so when I phoned Hubs mobile, to learn he would be another forty minutes, to say I felt let down is an understatement.  

 

I cooked the family tender chicken breasts marinated in herbs and boiled new potatoes added herbs to them and butter after draining them and put them in the the vegetables I spent ages shredding chopping and cutting loads of different kinds of those things that are so good for us. Smile. Green cabbage, carrots, peppers, onions, garlic, green beans, baby sweetcorn, mushrooms, peas and lots of kinds of beans that of course didn’t need chopping. Frying them in nut oil adding salt and dried herbs, then adding fresh single cream and a sashay of Moroccan powder which made a lovely thick paste then I poured that into a large oven dish and washed the pan, the smell was amazing. Then I poured a little oil into the pan and peeled and sliced courgettes adding cumin powder put that on the top of the prepared dish and put it in the hot oven turned off just to keep warm. Hmm. For two hours? Well we had dinner, but sadly not all together like I try to arrange as I feel it’s so important, but I’m failing that battle these days. Anyway, Boy Wonder and Hub though eating at different times loved the food so much Hub asked if there was any left overs. There was.

 

My friend came around today with homemade cheese scones. She by far is the best baker in the world. Gosh if I had her talent in baking, I would be the size of two houses, rather than one!

 

Last night it rained and for the first time I was really scared. Why? If you had heard the rain pounding against our windows? England now is getting dangerous floods every year. At one time, we never had extreme weather more than once every ten years or so, now every year sometimes more than once a year. All seasons too. It didn’t help that Hub and I had been talking about how we believe in a few years to come, we will be like the rest of the world with our killer weather. Every country I feel would be perfect to live, sadly there is scary weather. England used to be so safe like that. We had, four seasons end of. Now, we have two seasons and with those months, comes really bad weather.

 

The sound was really hard. Like golf balls being thrown against our glass at industrial speeds. As if a machine gun was firing huge drops of water but what came with it, was the strongest winds as if monsters were trying to get into our house. Thankfully BW was at Shams so he wasn’t driving anywhere and by the time he came home, it had stopped. But in Cornwell a couple of weeks ago, it didn’t stop after a short while and people escaped upstairs in their houses only to have to be rescued from their roofs. I can’t see myself on our roof… I struggle putting the Christmas lights up on four steps in early December.

 

I doubt there will be any blossom left on trees or petals on plants. And after that wet weather, I’m not going to clean the dog run today, that’s for sure. One word.

Soup.

BW is doing his race on Saturday and more rain is expected.

 

 Love to the beautiful South of France and the sad forest fires they are having.

 

Making an easy dinner tonight. Pasta. Sausage pasta for the family. They can take it or leave it. Smile.

 

My dear friend has just been on the phone from where I used to live in Northumberland. I love her to bits. We spoke for ages with a fifteen minute break then another call. My phone is not well. So, she could only hear me from time to time but the amount I talk, I doubt she missed much conversation. Between us, there are no gaps.

 

I have just started a new contract with my phone but I can’t get a new phone for three months. Why? Not sure that is what I was told. I can’t afford a new phone just yet so I guess that will be my Christmas present.

 

OK, going to dust the shelves I have my elephants on. That is a very slow job. I have to be so methodical. I have so many in the thirties and I have small bears too on the shelves above them. Tomorrow I will tackle the other side of my room with angels, Pegasus’s and fairies on. I’m shattered just by doing a small job like these shelves. I have to concentrate so hard remembering where every single little ornament is. Lifting them up putting them back after dusting and making sure they are in a line with exactly the same gap in between. Yep, I’m anal when it comes to things like that.

 

I have floors to steam clean as well. Hub working from home tomorrow so I won’t get anything downstairs done. He works in the living room rather than the office, not sure why as it’s free of our glassware now. Our new glass unit is still up and doing well. Full of crystal. My house is for sure not blind friendly. But at least now my kitchen has machines that really help. I put washing in today too so all that will need ironing, may do that tomorrow whilst Hub works.

 

On that exciting note, I shall leave you with some words from Erma. Smile.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so I can hear heavy breathing again. Hahahaha.

My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first is hitting my head on the top bunk bed, until I faint.

 

 

 

 

   

DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE

 BY FIONA CUMMINGS

I heard your voice

As I lay on my pillow

I want to rejoice

As your words spoke in a tone so mellow

You talked to my heart

As my lips did part

I wanted to taste your kiss

As inside of me it’s that I miss

For stars are above us

But to get to you there are mountains to climb

Though I will find you in time

I just have words in the meanwhile

Thoughts of you are without a fuss

Just full of laughter

No acting or need for a BAFTA

As your words touched my heart

I knew from the start

We have something special between us

Is it lust?

May be so

All I know is I cry when you go

But you leave me wanting more

I have to continue with my day

Hoping it doesn’t show

I’m not really here

For in my mind I’m by your side

Swimming through the tears I have cried

Such happiness

Among absolute madness

But I will find you

And it will be real

I can show you the love I feel

Right now, I hear you

Though don’t see you

But I will one day soon

As we share the same moon

Our clouds fly by

I will find you one day

At least I will try

Meet me half way

And our time will come faster

We will be together one day

I can’t wait for tonight

When your words will again hold me tight

As I place my head upon my pillow

Soothing sounds as if listening to a cello

I sleep with the knowledge

That I will find that bridge

Cross over and be with you

because dreams do come true

© Fiona Cummings

 

SUBJECT OF THE DAY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

My subject today Bloggets is, neuroplasticity. Oh yes, let’s eat this subject and learn together, mind you, knowing me, I’m always the last to know anything, so I bet I’m preaching to the converted.

 

The brain can rewire itself throughout life. Forming neural connections. The nerve cells learn to compensate for injury and disease and to adjust their activities in response to new situations we grow new nerve endings to reconnect neurons that were injured. I have read that if one part of our brain is attacked, the good part takes over. Or can. To make this work though, our brain needs to be stimulated. Wow, I love this subject. I think of my eye disease. The nerves rods and cones are damaged, so why can’t my brain tell my eyes to work using good cells? Why can’t I grow new bits and bobs in my eyes?

 

The subject came across as I was talking with a very intelligent man as I wrote about a part of our brain that hasn’t been activated as yet. I asked him if he thought that part of the brain went into the next world. Our half of the brain that was once thought to be the active section, whilst the other side remained dormant. The active section was wiped out as the new part of our brain kicked into action. Well, that was my theory blown out of the hemisphere

 

Apparently, that’s old news as new scientists have discovered that cells regrow and even compensate. So, for all of us who say we are too old to learn to play the piano or a new language, not according to scientists. And for all of those thinking we are still just here because of the big bang? Well, how can we be so clever and how can our body just do what it does? Just like a car is wired to work, as are we. Just as a car can’t evolve on its own, neither can we. I just wish my maker would send me sight. In fact, all those who are blind and want to see and for those who are right now terrified of facing blindness as it’s coming at them like a fast car about to crash into their lives. Why do we have to feel pain and suffering in this world and again, if we are just here because of whatever other than we were created, then why do we have feelings? Feel emotions? I think we are heading towards a society full of machines. Our kid’s kids, will be so different. Sadly, in a way, but I guess good for them because they won’t feel grief like we do. And another thought, whilst I’m thinking. Smile. Chemicals. Why can’t the army and Government produce a chemical that can be released into the air to make everyone calm and happy? Nice kind people. Why do all the chemicals have to be harmful and propose a threat to our beautiful world. Surely if you can make bad chemicals, good ones can be invented too?

 

NONONO DON'T SEND IT BY FIONA CUMMINGS

A beautiful Blogget said to me yesterday, I remind him of Erma Bombeck. Well, is this good or bad? I have also been told I sometimes write like Charles Dickens. That’s easy, I know who that is, but this lady? So, I looked her up and learned of some quotes she has said and written, one rang a bell, a couple of years ago another Blogget told me about this lady too and said my writing reminds them of her. I looked her up then but shame on me forgot her name, only today when I was reminded of her did I think back and recognise these quotes that I wrote down two years ago when I first learned of her name. Here are her quotes and to follow is another very interesting story about my past coming back at me.

  Never go to a Doctor’s office whose plants have died.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope I would have not a single bit of talent left and could say. I used everything you gave me

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely.

My favourite of all. “Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Hellen Keller is the other.

 

So, my Son came home from work. He brought his Dad some goodies to eat. Hub sat there with a huge bag of food he likes. We won’t talk of the calories. We also won’t talk about not going into the gym, garage tonight either as our pathetic attempt yesterday only lasted 15 minutes. But hey, build it up, right? Hmm. It would be a good idea if we could do at least two nights in a row, smile. Anyway, wait for this quinky dinky story.

 

I moved from a house where my Son grew up for the first eight years of his life. We were the only people to have sold our house in that street that year. My neighbour came to see me and said she almost had a fit when she looked out of her bedroom window knowing the new neighbours had moved into our house, but not knowing anything about them, she was shocked to see the two of them, man and woman, laying flowers at a stone and on the stone said rest in peace, Fiona….

Spooky number one.

She later learned no, they hadn’t buried me, I was alive and semi well. But wait for this one. The man was previously married She sadly died of cancer. She was called Fiona, a Scottish name. Bear with, it’s relevant. Honest. After the wife died, her (Sister) got close to her Brother in law. (Sister who died Husband)

 They ended up marrying. And bought my house. All quite okay so far, right? Now, spooky number two.

 

A lady came into my Sons place of work yesterday and recognised his Geordie accent. She asked him where he was from. He told her, turns out, she, moved into our street the same year we moved out, and she is Scottish. Now I’m not Scottish but my name is. Was her sister Scottish, her Sister Fiona? Was it the same people who bought our house? If so, now we both live over an hour and a half away. So, moving to the same area how weird is that?  Talk about a small world! Same as the writer above, how someone else said I write like her two years ago and yesterday another person thought the same.

 

Many years ago, I did a course at college and we spoke much about the mind and how it works but one thing the tutor said to us was we are all linked with an invisible bit of thread. I think this is how we get that feeling of Déjà vu

 

Today it’s pouring with rain. I have spent a lovely time talking with my friend. He’s a fantastic guy and gives me peace in my heart. 

 

I’m going to attempt a chicken dish today. Not sure what I, am going to have. I did a really stupid thing this week. I forgot to buy vegetables. How can I do that? I did buy some pea pods. Yummy, I love them, but Hub and I just eat them from the pod, I don’t cook them. I have mushrooms and onions, garlic and peppers to go in the chicken dish today and some spices. I will do noodles with them. But no cabbage this week or carrots, how did I do that?

 

Last night flew by, Hub was an hour later in from work and Shamrock came so the night went so fast. She is taking her Mum shopping today. That’s a nice thing for her to do. I think she does it a lot.

 

I’m super excited for my Son to go to this crazy 13-mile race. Afterwards he is going out with his pals for a curry and a drink. It’s been too long since he has had a day with the lads. Sham was going, but now she is working, so I’m glad he is with the lads only, she would have been bored too, as she wouldn’t be allowed to go around. Gosh she has put in the hours at work this week. But today she is off.

 

So, the gentle rain is making rhythmic beats on my window. The gardens are smelling lovely. There is nothing as beautiful as rain on grass. Our street has been so quiet all week I am wondering if they are on holiday? But why, as none of them have children, so why would they pick a holiday in the most expensive time?  Normally the sounds of them all doing their gardens is so loud and they chat away to each other. We live in a very friendly avenue of all sorts.

 

My excitement today is waiting in for a bin. Haha. Oh, the life I lead is no one’s business. Apart from you all.

 

And thank you all, our blog page has reached over 200,10,000 views now.

 

The sweet lady from America my lovely friend and our Blogget and I were writing to each other last night. We were talking about texts we have sent using audio. Oh my, we between us have sent some very interesting messages. She told me a funny one about her texting her daughter. She spoke into the phone and pressed send. Only to learn rather than saying

“We are going to a neighbor to have aperitifs.””

She had written.

“We are going to the neighbors to get a pair of teeth.”” I can only imagine what her daughter thought at the time.

 

I told her I sent my friend a text talking about Neil the joiner. She wrote back and asked me. Fiona, is that really his surname? Wondering what she was talking about, I looked at my text I had audio messaged to her. It in fact read.

“Neil Vagina.””

 I sent my Son a text using audio again and I wanted to say. Hello Sweetheart. He wrote back asking me. Mum, why did you call me that? I looked at what my iPhone thought I had said.

Hello retard.

I guess the lesson is to always read what you have said even written especially if you use prodictive texts.

 

I hope I have put a smile upon your chops today. () Take care cos I care. X

 

 

A QUICK ONE BEFORE BED BY FIONA CUMMINGS

I’m so hungry. And bored. Also, lazy. I should be working but really? Why? I don’t get paid. Hmm. But I do have a beautiful roof above my head. My Husband is working late today, he is doing interviews so I have a spare hour smile. And, I have made dinner and tidied our bedroom as well as put the shopping away, gosh, that is a task in itself. Still loving our fridge with the three fresh drawers. But today I did think I had broken it. My door of the fridge wouldn’t close. Okay, so something needs pushing backwards? No, not that shelf or that one and everything on that shelf is already back, so what is it? One of the drawers? No, oh, hang on. Well, I learned today that there are three drawers I knew that bit, but under each draw, there is a shelf. One of them was sticking out. Very nice, firstly why are there shelves under the drawers? Secondly, why won’t the blooming thing go back? Thirdly, have I just broken our new expensive fridge? Fourthly, how do we claim on this as guarantee shmarentee. Where did we put that bit of paper? This is why I like to shop from John Lewis. Because if anything goes wrong they are so easy and helpful to rectify it. Only, their shops now are dreadful they are huge with nothing in. Loads of things over the past two years I have called up about and asked if they are in store to which I was told no. We don’t stock that. From coffee machines to beds to shelves. There has been loads of complaints because people now are expected to buy sofas and beds on line. Well, what if they come and they are as hard as a park bench?

 

Eventually, I was able to put the shelve where it should be. I will tell you a funny story about my fridge, yep, I can find a funny thing about a fridge, I’m kind of sad like that. So, when we are out with our dogs, we blow the whistle, only when they are on free run of course, off the leash. Three blows to the whistle they come running. Well, the Little Fella does, Waggs will if there are no other distractions, otherwise she waves her paw as if to say. **** () () Mummy.

 

Why are they meant to come back when they hear the whistle? From a puppy when getting fed, they get the whistle they then know it’s feeding time. So, off the leash, running free, hear the sound of three whistles and they run to get a treat. So, we give them one and off they go again, on the next call, we grab the leash and capture them. Smile. Waggs watches from a distance to see if LF has been caught then runs. Biscuit or not. My last guide dog was a belly on legs. She was slim. Ish. But food for her was her life, so she was so obedient. Well when my fridge door has been open some silly amount of time like six seconds. It goes beep beep beep. And it sounds just like their whistle. So, for weeks when my fridge was open my dogs would run like mad thinking they were going to have something delicious. Hahaha. Bless them, now, LF hears the sound and half goes to run to me then stops.

 

I’m dying to go to a clairvoyant. I need to know something about my future. Or is that a fortune teller? I know there are loads of sharks out there, but there are some good ones. My friend gave me a number of one but I don’t want spooky cookies here so means going to friend’s houses. They don’t want spooky cookies either and as for going to her house? Great, but it’s almost an hour away. Shame too as she is great.

 

It’s my friend’s birthday soon.  A gift came for them today. Oh, my goodness. How, on earth will we get that to their house? On the bus? I don’t think so. It weighs a ton and it was expensive so if I were to send that through the mail it would cost even more. So, what to do? I never thought it would be so heavy. I think we have done an oopsie.

 

One of my lovely Bloggets and my friend Carrie has asked me a few times but today got around to answering. She wants to know, what are crisps? So, if she doesn’t know then you may not. They are potatoes fries? Well, is that correct even? I mean, are they not chips? Oh confused, is my middle name. Basically, they are in a bag. They are sliced potatoes with flavouring on and they are cold not what you eat hot with food. They are a snack. I’m not sure if I am making my description worse or better. Whatever, they are blooming yummy.

 

I bought dry herbs today. I have just put them in the new jars on a chrome rack I bought. Now, remembering which herbs is that? Haha. Well, there is nothing that won’t go. And most of them I can tell by the smell. I told you about my Son cooking? He made salt and pepper chicken. He asked how do you make it Mum. Me, well, cook your chicken and put salt and pepper on it Son. That’s my kind of cooking. He replied no Mum. Sham makes it and you use all sorts. I said well, look up the recipe? He did. Basically, you cook your chicken and add salt and pepper. Smile. But you fry peppers onions and garlic too. He made it with new potatoes with their skins on. He put the potatoes in the oven after boiling them to crisp them up. He then puts it all in Tupper wear boxes and eats it over some days. He freezes his boxes. I can’t imagine what they will taste like after coming out of the freezer, he microwaves them. I hope he won’t get poisoned. He cooks a lot of broccoli to and asparagus. The house smelled so good. It was like a Chinese restaurant, but this morning after the delicious smells, came the one smell that no one wants to smell. Garlic. My nice newly cleaned dishwasher stunk too. As I emptied it I found the garlic crusher he was using.

Full of garlic.

 Nice one Son.

 

Oh only a few days to go before he is doing that scary race.         

13 miles. He said he was going to grab the smallest person to have on his back. *Cleaning one’s ears out* oh, yes, I remembered, he has to have someone on his back for a mile. All of his friends are big chunky lads, so a skinny stranger, watch out. No one will want to carry him, Boy Wonder, is almost 15 stone. 210 lbs.

 

13 miles is, 20.9klm

Oh, I hope he will be OK. I hope he has a fantastic day. He is at work the next day early. I think he is on a 6 a.m. opening.

 

A blast from my past came too close to me yesterday. I never want to see her again. Someone who made my childhood worthwhile, but all along she was fake. My Mum in heaven will be so disappointed by her. I have no contact with family now, as in cousins, and all of my aunts and uncles are dead. Well, as far as I am concerned.

 

A Blogget asked the other day about my Brother in law who moved to Australia? My Blogget is from there so was wondering how he was getting on. Remember the heart ache when he left, gosh, all three of us were so very sad. Australia is too far away. Well, he went and absolutely is loving life out there. He is living with a lovely man we love and both have found happiness down under. Oh, heck, did that come out as I meant it to? Well, you know, down under, as in Australia?  So, my Husband has his one brother left in the UK. Sadly, we only see him about once a year but we are just unsociable and don’t go far and sadly he lives some distance.

 

All of my friends have family around them. For us, we are us three so I only hope my Son marries a lovely lady and they have some Grandchildren for us. I so badly miss my parents. I was too young to loss them. I was 30. No matter how old you are, you always want, need your parents, though me and my Mum used to fight like cat and dog. Not sure which one was the cat and which one of us was the dog! We fought but I had such love for her. The pain when I thought of her as a child stays in my heart, throat and stomach even now. Six years old was far too young to be removed from my parents. Boarding school has a lot to answer for. As for my poor Husband, he was three.  It’s so cruel. It totally screws us up for life. Thank God, it’s different now for those who have sight issues.

 

I have my Brother who is a work aholic funny isn’t it, as is my bro in law and Hub, even to some degree, BW. He puts in the hours for sure, how long he will stay at this job? Not sure as his boss who he really liked has moved as has all of his friends who worked there. He is surrounded by girls now. And? You ask? Well, there is Shamrock.

 

Hub just been on the phone and he sounds shattered though pleased to be on his way home after a long day and some interviews. I wouldn’t really like to decide who gets jobs as I did a couple of weeks ago and I felt too bad doing it. But Hub is used to it. He is so smart I have nothing but admiration for him and total respect to the person who gave him his, job. It’s too difficult for blind people to find work even these days. Even if we have qualifications and degrees and in my Husbands case, a Master’s in business.

 

We have a fun night planned. So, more tomorrow, though I’m feeling a poem coming on so perhaps that before bed. X

 

  

 

 

DIARY OF EVERYTHING BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Well Bloggets you know I like to tell you about groups I’m asked to join? Today’s is, wait for it?

Adenomyosis Warriors and advocates.

I didn’t join.

 

It’s actually cold today. It’s going to rain too. Can’t complain it’s been beautiful for weeks.

 

I received an email from a Blogget asking some questions. I will try to answer them as best as possible. Just to say they wanted me to write a blog on these subjects, so it wasn’t a private email as such.

Q. If you were born sighted, what would you have been doing now?

No one can say as I don’t know what my life would have brought. One would hope that teaching would have been my occupation. I for sure would be slim. I guess I would have been married to the same Husband and not met my now Husband as we met at a school for the blind, though I wasn’t blind at the time.  My first Husband wouldn’t have been the one I was married to in this world. I think I married too young if I had sight, I would have been in different circles.

Q. what will be the first thing you do if there is treatment in the future to give you sight?

Oh, I would fall to my knees and thank God. Then run, run free. Not chained to my dog or a white cane or an arm for guidance. Then I would shop. I would look at the colours around me. To buy something I knew what it looked like and be able to see myself in the mirror. That’s a scary thought.

Learn to drive and not be able to stop looking at my Sons face and my Husband. Just staring at them. Seeing what I have missed over the years. Try to look at photographs of my Son growing up, all I missed visually, then going on holidays. Then getting a full-time job that paid me and respected me as a person for the first time.

I would also end up visiting people who for whatever reason can’t get out of the house. And I would love to go to a place in either India or Africa to look after elephants for a few months. I would hand write. It’s been almost 20 years since I have been able to do that and see what I was writing. I would just look at everything like birds and appreciate life.

Q. If you could see, what would the downsides be?

Oh my, are there any? Some would say seeing destruction caused by man. Angry mean faces. Dirty streets. Children on our news who are all bone. But the good would by far out way the bad.

 

I would say the majority of the time, I am sceptical to ever seeing. Everything is so very slow with regards research. It makes me very very sad. But not much has moved on for ten years ago. I do then believe just one day, there will be a breakthrough and it will have nothing to do with what is being researched now. But my days of those thoughts sadly are rare.

 

Another funny question  

Q. if you could wear only one colour for the rest of your life, what colour would it be?

Dark green. I don’t think I have anything apart from a pair of jeans that no longer fit me that is dark green but it’s a colour I absolutely love.

 

My shopping groceries came today. Gosh, I just am so grateful to Tap Tap See on my iPhone. Thank the inventers. I was able to identify three objects today that I no way had a clue what they were. My fridge is bursting and there is the most revolting thing for Hubs dinner tonight, I buy that already made so, what is it? Ready for the Urrrr’rrrr’rr’rrrrghgh sound? Liver. Oh my. How can anyone eat gross bits of an animal? He loves it though so how can I deprive. There are things I will not cook and won’t buy for him that is venison. Oh, or duck.

 

Wow my friend from India, who is on holiday in Thailand now has just sent me a voice message via Facebook. I never knew it was possible, I’m always last to know but the sound was so clear, even more so than my phone call I have just made to someone in the UK.

 

Talking of Facebook, I have just had a clear out. There are still people on there I wish weren’t, but so be it for now. My Husband hates it and says it is more negative than positive, but I know some really really lovely people on there who I know we will be friends forever. And that is a long time. I deleted eleven requests today that have been there a while, just because I don’t want to except people to make up numbers to say hey, look how popular I am? Smile. Out of three hundred people I think I’m in regular contact with about fifty odd of them. My policy now is as soon as I see someone being nasty, I am going to delete them. I have some friend from school like our Blogget Jud, who is a new fb pal and she is so lovely. She interacts and is fun. That is what it should be about, don’t get me wrong I love a good debate, but when it comes to name calling, no need.  Yesterday there was a lady who was sharp to another fb pal of mine and though I happened to agree with her, I didn’t like the way she spoke to the other person. There was no need and showed a lack of intelligence as she obviously couldn’t find the words to use to get her point across without being rude.

 

  Only a week to go before Hub and I are off to our besties for the day. I can’t wait. They are our family. I’m not into a huge amount of people as I am probably the most boring person. Friends say I am the light in the room and the most joyful at an event, but, only because there are at most, at each   gathering, eight. Any more than that, I’m gone. An yet I can stand up in front of a hundred people and give a talk. I can do a live interview on TV. But put me in an environment where by I have to be a certain kind of person, only to me, as I expect too much from myself, I just can’t deal with it. Unless it’s in a professional situation, I’m no good.

  

Okay, back to the drawing board and back to work. I’m going to do all of our pictures around the house. Yep, this blind lass has loads of pictures and paintings around the place. Why, I can’t see? Yep, true, and?  I brush my hair too and I can’t see what it looks like. I put make up on when I go out, I can’t see or feel it, so I like my house to be homely and when we are decorating and our paintings and pictures are not hung up, the house to me feels so cold. My paintings include the beautiful huge black and white tiger with beautiful light blue eyes she is a real tiger in one of our wildlife parks in the UK. The frame is really thick polished black smoothed shiny wood we bought it on our cruise years ago. Then there are my angels my FaceBook friend painted for me. I have local pictures/paintings of castles where I used to live and a print of a lady dancing on a piano reaching to the stars but the stars are tiny musical notes. The print is of a painting my friend did some years ago. I also have pictures of our dogs thanks to two friends. One of my friends Arty, got a picture on her camera of our darling three dogs when Wagga was first with us, my then, new guide dog, and my old retired GD Black Beauty, AKA Hannah and our sweet beautiful Long Chops, AKA Suki. That photograph I will treasure always. My first guide dog, my new one and the wonder dog who gave us a life we never had before and doubt will ever have again. Suki was so very special. Gosh, it broke our heart when she died. It was only a year almost to the day when we lost my Hannah, who died at twelve. The pain is immense.

 

Right now, I doubt I will get another guide dog. I know it will mean I am more of a prisoner, but I think the future perhaps will be more staying away from home to be trained as every dog you have to retrain. I don’t want to be away from home for two weeks.

 

  Hub is talking about moving house again. Again? He wants to move to the countryside. I don’t know if I can take another move. Especially when we have our lovely new kitchen. It’s the first kitchen I have ever totally loved and it is so easy. But for our health, I think a move will be on the horizon.  

 

My Son has just received his visa for his holiday so he is excited. He is now shopping for healthy food for his lunches. He is so enjoying his cooking. It’s funny, as he is shouting, Mum, how do you do this, and that. But I love teaching him as he will be a great cook in the future, as ever since a child of ten, his cooking at school was amazing. He is one of those people who can cook a simple potato and it tastes better than anyone else’s. So, I’m not cleaning my kitchen for the day until he has finished. I shall go and iron. It’s never ending. I have just cleaned out my robe looking for a machine that was all the time in the corner of our bedroom. My Son walked in with a cup of tea for me. I was boiling and surrounded by empty bags, boxes and rubbish as well as bags of shoes and clothes that had fallen on the floor of my wardrobe. Both doors of my robe open I was trapped as he handed me the cup. He then laughed and asked me, Mum, how are you going to get out of there? Good question I thought, especially as I now have a cup of tea in my spare hand.  He asked what I was looking for, I told him, he said, oh, there it is, on the floor. Oh, not in my robe then? Never mind, my robe is cleaner.

 

I have to shop on Amazon as we bought a very very expensive rubbish bin and last night it broke. Three years old over £100 so now I shall buy a cheap one

 

And some sad news yesterday came in about little Charlie the eleven-month-old baby who is so disabled and our Doctors want to end his life as they say he is beyond help. The parents wanted to take him to America for treatment but after months of battling with the courts, the parents have decided to end his life. Bless their hearts.

Love to you all peace and may all your dreams come true.