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Tuesday, 25 July 2017

DIARY OF EVERYTHING BY FIONA CUMMINGS


Well Bloggets you know I like to tell you about groups I’m asked to join? Today’s is, wait for it?

Adenomyosis Warriors and advocates.

I didn’t join.

 

It’s actually cold today. It’s going to rain too. Can’t complain it’s been beautiful for weeks.

 

I received an email from a Blogget asking some questions. I will try to answer them as best as possible. Just to say they wanted me to write a blog on these subjects, so it wasn’t a private email as such.

Q. If you were born sighted, what would you have been doing now?

No one can say as I don’t know what my life would have brought. One would hope that teaching would have been my occupation. I for sure would be slim. I guess I would have been married to the same Husband and not met my now Husband as we met at a school for the blind, though I wasn’t blind at the time.  My first Husband wouldn’t have been the one I was married to in this world. I think I married too young if I had sight, I would have been in different circles.

Q. what will be the first thing you do if there is treatment in the future to give you sight?

Oh, I would fall to my knees and thank God. Then run, run free. Not chained to my dog or a white cane or an arm for guidance. Then I would shop. I would look at the colours around me. To buy something I knew what it looked like and be able to see myself in the mirror. That’s a scary thought.

Learn to drive and not be able to stop looking at my Sons face and my Husband. Just staring at them. Seeing what I have missed over the years. Try to look at photographs of my Son growing up, all I missed visually, then going on holidays. Then getting a full-time job that paid me and respected me as a person for the first time.

I would also end up visiting people who for whatever reason can’t get out of the house. And I would love to go to a place in either India or Africa to look after elephants for a few months. I would hand write. It’s been almost 20 years since I have been able to do that and see what I was writing. I would just look at everything like birds and appreciate life.

Q. If you could see, what would the downsides be?

Oh my, are there any? Some would say seeing destruction caused by man. Angry mean faces. Dirty streets. Children on our news who are all bone. But the good would by far out way the bad.

 

I would say the majority of the time, I am sceptical to ever seeing. Everything is so very slow with regards research. It makes me very very sad. But not much has moved on for ten years ago. I do then believe just one day, there will be a breakthrough and it will have nothing to do with what is being researched now. But my days of those thoughts sadly are rare.

 

Another funny question  

Q. if you could wear only one colour for the rest of your life, what colour would it be?

Dark green. I don’t think I have anything apart from a pair of jeans that no longer fit me that is dark green but it’s a colour I absolutely love.

 

My shopping groceries came today. Gosh, I just am so grateful to Tap Tap See on my iPhone. Thank the inventers. I was able to identify three objects today that I no way had a clue what they were. My fridge is bursting and there is the most revolting thing for Hubs dinner tonight, I buy that already made so, what is it? Ready for the Urrrr’rrrr’rr’rrrrghgh sound? Liver. Oh my. How can anyone eat gross bits of an animal? He loves it though so how can I deprive. There are things I will not cook and won’t buy for him that is venison. Oh, or duck.

 

Wow my friend from India, who is on holiday in Thailand now has just sent me a voice message via Facebook. I never knew it was possible, I’m always last to know but the sound was so clear, even more so than my phone call I have just made to someone in the UK.

 

Talking of Facebook, I have just had a clear out. There are still people on there I wish weren’t, but so be it for now. My Husband hates it and says it is more negative than positive, but I know some really really lovely people on there who I know we will be friends forever. And that is a long time. I deleted eleven requests today that have been there a while, just because I don’t want to except people to make up numbers to say hey, look how popular I am? Smile. Out of three hundred people I think I’m in regular contact with about fifty odd of them. My policy now is as soon as I see someone being nasty, I am going to delete them. I have some friend from school like our Blogget Jud, who is a new fb pal and she is so lovely. She interacts and is fun. That is what it should be about, don’t get me wrong I love a good debate, but when it comes to name calling, no need.  Yesterday there was a lady who was sharp to another fb pal of mine and though I happened to agree with her, I didn’t like the way she spoke to the other person. There was no need and showed a lack of intelligence as she obviously couldn’t find the words to use to get her point across without being rude.

 

  Only a week to go before Hub and I are off to our besties for the day. I can’t wait. They are our family. I’m not into a huge amount of people as I am probably the most boring person. Friends say I am the light in the room and the most joyful at an event, but, only because there are at most, at each   gathering, eight. Any more than that, I’m gone. An yet I can stand up in front of a hundred people and give a talk. I can do a live interview on TV. But put me in an environment where by I have to be a certain kind of person, only to me, as I expect too much from myself, I just can’t deal with it. Unless it’s in a professional situation, I’m no good.

  

Okay, back to the drawing board and back to work. I’m going to do all of our pictures around the house. Yep, this blind lass has loads of pictures and paintings around the place. Why, I can’t see? Yep, true, and?  I brush my hair too and I can’t see what it looks like. I put make up on when I go out, I can’t see or feel it, so I like my house to be homely and when we are decorating and our paintings and pictures are not hung up, the house to me feels so cold. My paintings include the beautiful huge black and white tiger with beautiful light blue eyes she is a real tiger in one of our wildlife parks in the UK. The frame is really thick polished black smoothed shiny wood we bought it on our cruise years ago. Then there are my angels my FaceBook friend painted for me. I have local pictures/paintings of castles where I used to live and a print of a lady dancing on a piano reaching to the stars but the stars are tiny musical notes. The print is of a painting my friend did some years ago. I also have pictures of our dogs thanks to two friends. One of my friends Arty, got a picture on her camera of our darling three dogs when Wagga was first with us, my then, new guide dog, and my old retired GD Black Beauty, AKA Hannah and our sweet beautiful Long Chops, AKA Suki. That photograph I will treasure always. My first guide dog, my new one and the wonder dog who gave us a life we never had before and doubt will ever have again. Suki was so very special. Gosh, it broke our heart when she died. It was only a year almost to the day when we lost my Hannah, who died at twelve. The pain is immense.

 

Right now, I doubt I will get another guide dog. I know it will mean I am more of a prisoner, but I think the future perhaps will be more staying away from home to be trained as every dog you have to retrain. I don’t want to be away from home for two weeks.

 

  Hub is talking about moving house again. Again? He wants to move to the countryside. I don’t know if I can take another move. Especially when we have our lovely new kitchen. It’s the first kitchen I have ever totally loved and it is so easy. But for our health, I think a move will be on the horizon.  

 

My Son has just received his visa for his holiday so he is excited. He is now shopping for healthy food for his lunches. He is so enjoying his cooking. It’s funny, as he is shouting, Mum, how do you do this, and that. But I love teaching him as he will be a great cook in the future, as ever since a child of ten, his cooking at school was amazing. He is one of those people who can cook a simple potato and it tastes better than anyone else’s. So, I’m not cleaning my kitchen for the day until he has finished. I shall go and iron. It’s never ending. I have just cleaned out my robe looking for a machine that was all the time in the corner of our bedroom. My Son walked in with a cup of tea for me. I was boiling and surrounded by empty bags, boxes and rubbish as well as bags of shoes and clothes that had fallen on the floor of my wardrobe. Both doors of my robe open I was trapped as he handed me the cup. He then laughed and asked me, Mum, how are you going to get out of there? Good question I thought, especially as I now have a cup of tea in my spare hand.  He asked what I was looking for, I told him, he said, oh, there it is, on the floor. Oh, not in my robe then? Never mind, my robe is cleaner.

 

I have to shop on Amazon as we bought a very very expensive rubbish bin and last night it broke. Three years old over £100 so now I shall buy a cheap one

 

And some sad news yesterday came in about little Charlie the eleven-month-old baby who is so disabled and our Doctors want to end his life as they say he is beyond help. The parents wanted to take him to America for treatment but after months of battling with the courts, the parents have decided to end his life. Bless their hearts.

Love to you all peace and may all your dreams come true.

 

 

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