DIARY OF BIRTHDAY BLIND CARPET BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Hello Bloggets. Sorry it’s been a while but been busy here in the Fifi household. It was my birthday last week, thank you all for the lovely messages, emails cards etc. from my Husband I received some amazing earphones that if I start to think of how they work, I would possibly freak out. No wires or plugs. Haha. My Son bought the most thoughtful gifts. He is fabulous at knowing what to buy. They just kept coming. He bought me too much and then Shamrock came with more gifts. Gosh a lucky wife and Mum.

 

My birthdays have always been a bit of a sore point in my life, though I have had the most rememberable ones the kind that don’t happen to the norm, but hey, I’m far from norm. haha. But still it was the day I was born and for that I have always had deep thoughts. My Husband is the same but in a different way, but because of what happened in both of our lives eleven years ago and for me last year too, I have a future, the only trouble is now, my future is getting shorter… it’s running away with my mind and thoughts, so, I hope I can pack in a  life time of dreams over the next however many years, birthdays, candles I have to blow out, I have left on planet earth.

 

Hub and I have been shopping with our Son and Sham. They are getting their lovely house ready to be a home. It’s too cute for words. Hub and I are so happy and to be a house owner at such young ages is amazing.

 

Well let me try to tell you about my day and part of my life. oh, this is so funny off paper, not too sure how it will come about in writing.

My old Bloggets may remember a cream carpet I ordered for our Sons bedroom. It came when he was on holiday. It was down a week. I even gave a telephone survey saying I would give the carpet, and company as well as fitters, 10 out of ten, but our boy looked in shock when he returned to England, telling me my cream carpet, well, wasn’t cream…. They had delivered and fitted the wrong carpet and cream became purple…. Dark beetroot…

 

Well the company came and sorted but I think now, the blind carpet story is famous in our local carpet shop.

 

So, for our stair carpet, I bought a beige carpet. Well the van pulled up to lay it. I opened the door. He shouted to me; I have the wrong address…. He then laughed. What a joker…. Obviously, he remembered the purple carpet and was taking the Michael….

 

I laughed.

He laughed.

I told him not to bring a purple one in.

He laughed again saying no, this is not purple. I asked if it was beige? Yes, he replied. I will show you.

I laughed again. Silly man knows I’m blind…. But he says he will show me.

Well he came in, he insisted on showing me the carpet. I said you are funny. He laughed again, such a cheerful guy… I then asked him where his partner was? He replied. No partner love, I work on my own. I replied. No, last time you were with someone. He answered. No, never, always on my own. Then he said. I have never been here. Oh, I didn’t stop there. I replied. You came last year to lay the bedroom carpet. No. he didn’t.

Oops

Wrong guy.

What a dope I am.

I mean why would a large company use only two fitters? Of course, they have a selection of them. But it got better.

 

Trying to hang on to Waggatail the wonderful guide dog, as she wanted to show the guy how friendly she was by doing an impression of a scarf, around his neck…. I put my hand on the money I had to pay him, just in case it got knocked off the coffee table as he was pulling and carrying the carpet and underlay through. The man was out of sight.

If I had any.

And feeling for the money with on hand, the other on the wagging one’s collar, I knocked over my small vase of daffodils.

Oh, no, water everywhere.

I picked it up, went into the kitchen to get some kitchen towelling. Got down on the floor to wipe up all the water. Just then I heard the guy coming down the stairs. Oh no, I couldn’t let him see I had spilled something. So, I quickly dried up the floor and grabbed my tiny energetic beasty girl. I then pretended I was playing with her, stuffing the kitchen roll behind the chair… acting like everything was normal and I hadn’t had a blindie moment.

He said.

“Oh love, have you spilled some water?”

Well I was speechless, I mean, how did he know? I then in a red fluster replied.

“oh, yes a little water, but it’s OK, I will clean it up….””

 

As he left the front door to get tools, I suddenly thought, Fifi, he wasn’t volunteering to clean it up for you honey….

 

Well when he left, I gave him his money. Then went around the landing and our landing is so big, and I picked up all the bits of carpet. The last guys cleaned it up so well. This man didn’t even ask for a bag or vacuum… I emptied the vacuum six times and filled a bag half full of larger pieces of carpet and underlay. Obviously, he saw my floor cleaning skills and thought I will leave it to her she can cope. Haha.

 

I then came to wipe up all the coffee table making sure it was bone dry. Where does that expression come from? Bone dry?

 

Oh, no. There it was, winking at me.

£10       

I only underpaid him….

I text him telling him. He said he would come back the next morning at 8

Eight?

Well there I was the next day, bright and early, well, not so bright, but definitely early.

Where was he?

Not here for sure. I text him again, he said sorry love I forgot. well his money is here for when he can be bothered to turn up.

 

The last guys who did my carpet one of them was so upset because his dog had just died.

This man, he was going to wait another 24 hours and get his dog put to sleep as it was so ill bless her.

I guess the moral of this story is, if you ar a dog owner and a carpet fitter, don’t come near me.

 

Today our Son went out with his Dad to play with tech. Hub was meant to do his jump today his parachute jump but it was cancelled because of storms. So instead the boys went to play and our boy was so happy when he came back as his Dad treat him to an early birthday gift. My baby has a very kind Daddy but our boy was so very grateful. He is such a lovely lad.

 

Hub and I are out to the theatre and a meal with our dear friends Geordie my footballer’s wife and, well the footballer, her Hub. Haha. I can’t wait. The four of us get on so well.

 

Before I go, I would like to say get well soon DaveKwiecinski, and if you, have been in hospital of late I hope for you a speedy recovery too!

 

Have a safe weekend. X

POLAND PETS AND HOPE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

It’s late or early, depending on your thoughts. Time is chasing shadows turning the hands of the clock to 2 a.m.

How long will we be in this world with hands that tell time? I can’t imagine our beautiful buildings from so many years ago that are still standing tall and proud with digital clocks on their faces. I know it’s so expensive to maintain clocks from yesteryear, but we must, to preserve beauty, history and respect.

 

My house is silent apart from the odd snoring coming from my dog and the creaking from my house as it tries to sleep by cooling down from the heating that has been on all day in our bitter cold winter, though it’s truly tropical comparison to years gone by.

 

My Son is in Poland on holiday and it’s coltish and wet there. No snow and not much different to the weather in England. Again, going back ten years, he wouldn’t be experiencing the same kind of temperatures.

 

All he seems to have done so far is eat. He is in shock just how inexpensive the food is there. And lots of vegan places to choose from I tell you, places abroad put our country to shame for vegans as there is much more abroad than in the UK.

 

Oh, his apartment where he is staying sounds so lovely, really posh. And full of niceties. A robe, slippers and tea coffee and cream. He arranged for his girlfriend to have roses and champagne as well as chocolates on her arrival. He is so kind to her.

 

On his return, he shall pick up the key to his brand-new house after a couple of days he will be back working every hour God allows.

 

My Husband will return home later on tomorrow night after three long days away. I have enjoyed the time to write as I love to write during the night as I become this free spirit with a different outlook and a brave mind.

 

It’s so quiet, peaceful. No cars pass no voice in my avenue of assorts. No dogs barking and it’s calm out there so no chimes from my bells outside. I’m sure to my neighbour’s delight.

 

By the way, did you know the human eye who can see colours, can distinguish more shades of green than any other colour?

Just saying, thought I may as well put that bit of totally useless information in here. Haha. I wonder why we have two parts to our eyes as in upper and lower eyelids? Why not just one closure?

Just wondering?

 

Talking of eyes, here is a great link. From blindness to sight

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/blind-alberta-man-sight-partially-restored-taking-drug-1.5451166?cmp=rss&fbclid=IwAR2RxJnKz5sPKDKYqGfPru7jkmA8DjDGZMJ9HUGEGiTsi6nz-TYVA4zrfM4

 

My little Waggatail of a guide dog worked so well yesterday. We went to the big shops of course we had to head towards our pet shop first. My little somewhat confused and traffic shy dog becomes a totally different guide dog when she is near her favourite shop. Even if I don’t want to go in there, we do. Even if I dare to suggest we go to another shop first, nope, it’s not happening. she passes by all of the shops to get to her place of paradise. And God help anyone who gets in her way. She is on a mission and of course Mummy has to buy a toy or two and treats when I’m in there. She likes to say hello to the other animals in there and volunteer at cleaning up the pet store to keep it tidy for all other dogs that enter the shop. To their disappointment, they know the Wagging one has been in before them as the floor is total treat free.

 

I guess I should try to sleep now. though to be honest I really am buzzing to write so much more, but I have to be up early in the morning. Until later, stay safe, proud and grateful for small pleasures.

 

A TOWN CALLED JOY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

This is semi deep I hope thought provoking!

Well when I write my blogs, I like to write what is on my mind, so, for todays subject it’s just that what is on my mind and yours.

 

I was just thinking about perspectives. When you feel like you are having a bad day, try to think about how your life could be worse? Is that a half cup empty or a cup half full? I think the latter is healthier, but sometimes my cup has a crack in it! Let’s chat about feelings.

 

Have you had one of those moments in your life where you have a special piece of jewellery, say a ring, you feel empty, naked somehow, you look or in my case feel the ring finger? It’s that, emptiness. The mark is there from the ring, but the ring is missing.

 

Your heart drops and your stomach lifts so hard and fast it almost regurgitates from your now open mouth. Open in shock and disbelief.

 

You are hot but shiver with fear and realisation that your most treasured item apart from your loved ones has gone. Where is it? Who has picked it up? It’s a mini grief, I think. If you have never had that experience you are lucky. To some they have nothing at all sentimental. I often think this is the best way to be.

 

Dusting the other day, I picked up a beautiful ornament that my dear friend Kingsie bought me some years ago. I got anxious in case I dropped it. I place it back with care feeling so sad that now she has gone an yet I have not only a memory of her but this item that I will treasure forever, but what if one day that breaks? Again, how sad will I feel?

 

In my sadness of missing my friend, I felt a warmth that she still lives on in my house not only my heart as in my heart, no one can remove her or break her. And at the end of the day, that is the most important thing, what is in your heart. Her fingerprint touched my heart eighteen years ago and will remain there until we meet again, perhaps in another world that will be much kinder to us both. But will I know her in the next land? I have a belief that when we think we have met our soul mate, it’s because they were in our lives in another world. That is how my Husband and I feel.

 

Remember how you felt on your first day at school? For me it was awful. My first school was so difficult as back then it was before Russia and before learning how to be partially sighted. When I say that, at first when you are tiny and you can’t se as well as the other children around you, you are totally oblivious. Your friends run, as do you. Only sometimes you fall as when running with my eye condition, I couldn’t focus. I would not see the steps, or the wall or the person in my way.

 

I didn’t know when I was little, as in four, that I would be the one who would get told off for not writing as fast as my friends because they could see well enough to copy the blackboard. I was the one who would open my reading book like my friends, but it was me who’s eyes absolutely stung when trying to see back then without glasses. As a tiny child I thought it was normal to hurt like that, so never said anything. It was only when I got older that I learned I needed glasses. That made the pain less but I still got so tired when reading as could only see a part of one letter on the whole page at a time.  All my friends had read their book, and were already writing what was necessary to complete work for class that day. Me, I had to suffer detention, but as I got older, I learned to read the synopsis on the back cover and use my active imagination to fill in the gaps. I smile with pride now as I got so many awards and points, a badge almost every week on the board for good work. But what if I hadn’t had had a good imagination or the ability to read the back of the book and fill in the gaps.

 

I was the one who couldn’t see to get to the local disco and I was the one who had to go to hellish boarding school at the age of six and couldn’t learn to drive like my sighted friends.  But I learned as I got older, I learned to slow down when running, to be cunning during lessons. To satisfy myself not going to the places other people went to at my age and to catch a bus if I needed to get places.

 

And then at seventeen I became that prisoner, trapped in a marriage of contempt of being led and taken places. Chained by what life had in for me and what I was prepared to except.

 Eleven years after I lost all of my vision, I learned how to be blind. Though this lesson is difficult, and can be so painful, mainly due to others thoughts of people who are blind, but I’m still learning and teaching and now I’m ready to face the next stage in my life of lessons and that is how sighted people live. Surely it must be so easy?

 

For those who are sighted, those who are having a bad day. I would love to try your life especially if you don’t really have anything too bad going on in your world.

 

I’m ready to live your life for you if you are not happy with what is going on. Please give me a chance to see. And let me teach people how lucky they are.

 

I thank God every day for my Husband and my Son. And for the thought that one day I can be united with those I want in my life and for my lovely house and to some standards my lifestyle. But there are dark days and those days I have to push on walk tall and climb up out of the ditch and walk along those undulating paths to a town called Joy!

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

SIT NEXT TO ME #PoetryByFionaCummings

SIT NEXT TO ME

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 

A blank canvas

A brush and a dish

A pot of paint but what colour will I choose?

What will I draw?

A lady with a fine dress, and high heeled shoes?

A pretty face?

Sleeves with lace?

What colour hair?

Eyes, will they stare?

Blue, green or brown

A smile or a frown?

Will she paint tired

Will her looks be admired?

Perhaps she will be well placed with royalty

Or a poor person

A look that makes her appear guilty?

Sit with me at my easel, and see what I have chosen?

Will she be feeble, or strong?

Will she be adventurous, or in time frozen?

 Stuck in a rut

Looking over her shoulder

Waiting at home for her long-left soldier

Will he be back?

Shall I reach for the black?

Shall I give her a sunhat?

Does she look the kind to own a cat?

What does a person look like who owns a cat?

Hmm. So, much to think about

But what a privilege without a doubt

I’m fortunate

I can create a life

A talking point

As art is what the eye see’s and the mind excepts

Art can’t have any regrets

It’s a sin to disregard what we dislike

For our mistakes, is someone else’s light

Out of the darkness

Away from madness

Somewhere to go

Even if it’s only a visit to their mind

Imagination

Passion

But what for those who are blind?

What do they see before them?

If they hold a pen

How can they create a picture?

A life?

Do they see the blood on the knife?

The end of a life

The birth of a child

The beauty of the wild

From a storm to weather so mild

What is the sun to them but for the heat?

What is a connection

If eyes don’t meet

Life without colour

Must be a lonely place

Expressionless features

Upon the face

Sadness in a fallen tear

A rise of a glass at the end of the year

A love so fair

A match as dark as the night

A star jumping in fright

The moon glowing with delight

An owl in flight

A fisherman looking for a bite

A hunter traumatising a rabbit in fear

A killing machine, poised to a deer

Sitting here

What will I paint?

A cottage ever so quaint?

With a straw roof

Sitting on top of a head of stone

All alone

In a place so remote

 Or on the rough see’s

A boat

Biting through the waves

In a mist

A haze

How do I get that effect?

Nothing is perfect

Life isn’t so, why should my picture be

Oh, shells and rocks along the sea

A Stoney beach golden sands are just a memory

Driftwood finds its way to shore

Collect it to make a barn door?

Or a coat rack

And paint it black

And here we have my painting

Thank you for waiting

The sea is in the distance

A Victorian lady looks like she is doing a dance

Pointed tows tap naked on the sand

Lifting her long dress

Not to get it in a mess

Her floppy bonnet

She beams as she misspoken wet

Tiptoeing through the white waves

Out to see are all the graves

To the lost sailors and crews

The mixture of blues

Green and whites

The sailing boats and yachts

A perfect spot

To paint a picture

But does it have to be for the world to see?

Perhaps I should keep it in my mind

As that is where a person who is blind

Keeps their art work

Not on a wall

Or a shelf so tall

Looking like it’s going to fall

  From somewhere small

Like a coffee table

Or a knight stand

Welcome to my land

My world

Where coal looks like gold

And secrets should never be told

Open your mind and frame your life

Let it be whatever it wants to be

Set your mind free

Sit next to me

See if you can paint, what I can see

 

© Fiona Cummings