MY DIARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good day to you all. Well what a week. My Husband has been rather ill so for the first time I have ever known since we have been together, he took four days off work still isn’t well but so much better than what he was. So, I have been a nurse all week.

 

It didn’t help that our GP’s give out antibiotics now for five days. Always antibiotics have been for seven days and we have been told that we won’t be better until all seven days’ worth of medicine has been consumed. So, after five days he still was really ill so had to get a Dr to call him and prescribe over the phone more pills. But guess what? he was only given tablets for two days. Hmm, so, seven days? Why not that in the beginning?

 

My poor friend Kinzie is still ill. So ill. I’m really afraid and her poor daughter has been so good keeping me up to date with what is going on but there is only so much you can take in from a far. I can’t even talk with her on the phone as her Husband says she still can’t talk. Or walk, how awful for her as she was so active. I can only hope she will be OK soon. At least I have the comfort of knowing she has people coming in to see if she is OK and help her. I’m so pleased she hasn’t had to struggle getting professionals out to her.

 

I received a letter on a bit of paper and it had my genetic information on. It made no sense to me at all. I am going to have to go back to that hospital and try to get some sense from them but from what I can gather, I have not yet had any tests done to see what type of RP I have. And I need that. How to get it? Not sure. Where to go for that? Not sure again but I shall ask my specialist when I see him, getting to see him is a total nightmare and it scares me how I will get to that hospital and how I will manage when there. It’s a total depressing place an eye hospital. There is never good news and I completely hate the way I feel when I come out. I am asked to tell if I see fingers flickering in front of my eyes. I say no, I’m blind. They then ask if I can see a light, I say no. I’m blind. Then the best or worst part, they ask me to read a sheet of paper. For goodness sake. It’s like when my poor Husband who has been totally blind since birth went into the Doctors last week, the nurse asked him to follow the light she was shining. She guided him into the room after he asked as he didn’t take his guide dog as he went by taxi because he couldn’t get into his local Drs of course, mind you, I am not sure how he would have walked there. He wasn’t steady on his feet so working a dog wouldn’t be good. And still she asked if he would follow the light on her torch.

 

If there is as much ignorance in the world of so-called professionals, how can we expect the general public to get blindness?

 

OK, grump over. I just have so much catching up to do this week with everything. I worked out by the end of the day, my washing machine will have been on for nine and a half hours. And I have some horrid emails to write one in particular I really don’t want to open as it isn’t good and requires a lot of work. Also, some files to update. Two poems to write for people and a retirement speech to do for someone. They all need posting tomorrow to get there for Saturday. I remember the days when our postal system used to deliver the next day…

 

On Friday it’s my Husbands birthday. We don’t have anything planned and it’s so hard to plan with our Son now he is a vegan. There are limited restaurants we can go to that Hub will enjoy. If any. So, not sure we will be going out for a meal. At least I have bought his gift and it’s so lovely I’m pleased with it.

 

Did I tell you I am trying to make a fairy garden? Oh, well I have been sending for bits for it but sadly they are all coming or not, from China. Well after thirty two days waiting for something that should have come after 18/twenty days, I have contacted the three sellers to inform them their items haven’t been delivered yet. One has written back saying they will refund me. But the three out of six items that have arrived, are so tiny. That would be OK, but the fairy house/castle, is enormous in comparison. Hahaha. One of the items I sent for was £1.25. The same item from the UK, delivery the next day was or is, £8. But I guess I would have at least received it.

 

So, far I have some artificial grass. A letterbox and postbox. A street lamp and the items I have not received are three different kinds of trees and a park bench.

 

Just a fact I have been reading about. Did you know standing for long periods a day is as bad for us as sitting for many hours?

 

If we sit at the work place or in our houses, for hours per day we are risking our chances of getting diabetes and heart problems we are meant to stand up every half hour and walk around for five minutes. Did you also know that if we sit at our desk for eight hours per day it also effects our brain? Our memory for example? Our blood pressures?

 

A study says that we should spend two hours per day out of our desks. And not two hours together. It’s so easy to email a colleague across the room but what if we got up and spoke to them, remember that old fashioned thing called conversation? Even if it is to ask if they could pass on an email address you are trying to look up. It will take 25 seconds to write that out and two minutes to walk over to them and walk back, but that is movement. Standing too long is as bad for us as sitting so this is why a little of everything is good for us. Apparently sitting for hours per day is very bad for depression too.

 

If we are at home on the phone, we can stand up whilst taking that call? We don’t always have to sit whilst talking. More and more in the work place there are standing desks that is great but remember to sit too and if standing apparently there should be a back wrest put in place.

 

OK, must get out of my chair and walk…. To the washing machine. Oh, my life is so exciting, haha, my next blog will be totally different to this one. Earlier I found something really interesting to read that I have read before but not written about.

 

Later Bloggets with love.

 

 

DEEP THOUGHTS BY FIONA CUMMINGS

How is it even possible to love someone with all your heart, soul and mind, your body and every single breath you take and for them to feel the same way about you but one day, it’s all over? One day you are left crushed or, you have crushed someone you had those feelings for.  how can that even be? If you are the one who has been hurt then how do you carry on? If you are the one hurting someone else, then how could you change so much?

 

How does anyone recover from such agony? Do they ever? Do they just live each day as it comes but really, they are just an existence in our huge world suffering in the worst pain they have ever known?

 

How does that person who is the torturer wake up each day smiling and sleep every night in peace knowing what they have done to someone?

 

Do you think in life everyone you know of, or have heard of can possibly know what you are going through? Is that you being arrogant or realistic?

 

If this pain is common, there would be a cure for it right?

 

If you are the one who is hurting someone, surely you should be facing Kama?

 

What if you have hurt someone unintentionally, and totally regret it and want to make up but the person you have hurt won’t let you back into their life? what if you are suffering so badly for your actions but there is no light at the end of the tunnel?

 

Everyone is allowed to make a mistake, it’s your reasoning for making that mistake and how you deal with it I would guess. But what if at that time in your life, you didn’t know any other way to do other than what you did?

 

What if you are suffering from other people’s consequences and all you want is to have that love back you once had, the respect that shadowed you from that person who is now hurting you?

 

What happens next, you have done something that is really damaging and you want to fix it, how do you do that? Or, you have been on the receiving end of a torturous tongue and someone who has totally broken your heart so badly, you think it’s absolutely impossible to be fixed?

 

For both cases, I can only suggest time, hope and calmness.

They say time is a great healer. Hmm. Well I am not sure about healing, but time gives us chance to work out life and how we are going to deal with it. So, we may not heal in time, but time will teach us how to deal with life.

 

Hope, if we have hope, we have a chance. To forgive and be forgiven.

 

And finally, to be calm. Not to rush into anything. Breathe, keep calm relax and listen to our heart and head. Hold off on those words that are just bursting to escape your mouth.

 

There is such a thing called deep thoughts.

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

 

 

HAPPY MONDAY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Happy Monday everyone. I hope your weekend has been one of peace and joy! Yesterday was a lovely family day at one of our favourite pubs. A delicious meal as always. And so nice to be with those we love.

 

In our news one of the largest holiday companies have gone bust. Thomas Cook. Such a shame end of an era. Now to bring the 150,000 holiday makers back home. Can you imagine, in Tunisia, the people on holiday all got locked into their hotel and were not allowed out until the staff were paid. Oh, my word, surely there should be a huge fine for that? I mean, that is hijack isn’t it? Name of hotel to avoid as far as I am concerned? Les Orangers resort in Hammamet.  They locked the gates and had four security guards telling people they were not allowed out. Tourist busses were moved on from picking the people up. Awful stories like an elderly lady who had fallen and broken her arm was forced to pay £2,500 to leave to seek medical help.

 

Even the Wi-Fi was turned off. The hotel said it was due to the weather. Oh, my can you imagine? Terrifying being held against your wishes and cut off from the world. I think it is disgraceful behaviour.

 

Just another Monday. Washing clothes, cooking and cleaning. Not in that order.

 

Oh, last week I decided to be arty. I have two small black plant pots with I think pink artificial flowers in. I put them both in my electric fire as we are not needing the fire at the moment and I thought they would look nice against the black fire and they fit in there so well. Only thing is, I really think I should take them out today as knowing me I may turn on the fire and forget to remove them. I dust inside the fire every five or so days, but what if on day six?

 

Did I tell you my lovely friend Kinzie who was so ill with Pneumonia and sent to hospital was sent home after three weeks? She is my Sons old Lolly pop lady who we adopted as his Grandma. We love her dearly. She is eighty and this is the state of things. She was sent home after being in hospital for what seemed to be forever. Her eighty-year-old husband had to get her from the car to the house. She must have had a wheelchair to get her from her hospital ward to the car at the hospital end. She can’t walk. She still can’t talk properly. She has me worried sick. Thank goodness her lovely daughter is back home now and by the way, she was in Tunisia but got home before midnight when the company went bust. So, yesterday she called in to see her Mum on the way back from the airport and she says her Mum looks worse than she did when she saw her a week ago. What is going on? I have done so much research and can not find any connection between Pneumonia and not being able to talk.

 

Well we are heading towards Autumn. Darker nights, cooler temperatures but beautiful trees. Fine if you can see them but if not, we are cold and feel darkness earlier… a study showed that research learned that babies born in Autumn tend to live until they are 100. In England we call Autumn, well, Autumn… But in America it’s known as fall. But until the 17^{th century the word, fall, was widely used in England.}

 

I received a letter from my eye hospital but my iPhone will not read NHS letters. I wonder if it is photocopied like a picture and that is why? So, my Son read it to me last night. I think it looks like I at last after four years plus have got a diagnosis of the type of Retinitis Pigmentosa I have. So many letters. I need to get it read again and write down what it says and do more research. I’m scared though because the letters don’t look like any other letters, I have read on line. You watch, mine will be so rare they won’t even be doing research on my kind of RP let alone on their way for a cure or at least treatment…

 

I have been reading about Indonesia how what they call the haze has turned the sky blood red like Mars. How scary what are we doing to our world? Gosh, we were given the most perfect place to live and we are killing it faster than humans know. I honestly can’t see earth being here in 80 years. And that is thanks to so many people being ignorant to the signs of times.

 

Now for some fun facts.

Bunny’s. Hares are born with fur and can see where as rabbits are born without fur and are blind at birth.

 

On one of the islands off the West coast of Australia, lies Lake Hillier. It’s a bright bubble gum pink but scientists don’t know why it’s such a bright pink. Gosh, that must look really odd?

 

Oh, until today I never knew this.  The flag of Hawaii is the only state US flag to feature the Union Jack on it.

 

 I love this fact, the word Almost, is the longest word written in alphabetical order in the English language.

 

And finally, as I think this fact may be of more use to you. Haha. You are three times more likely to get a virus on your computer from a religious website than you are from a porn website…

Well, I shall avoid both.

 

Happy Monday

 

 

 

MISSING ZERO'S BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good afternoon, the weather is beautiful today. Waggs and I have been shopping and oddly enough, we had to pass the fish & chip shop. Well, it would have been rude not to stop and say hello!

And buy some delicious chips and curry sauce and Hub is working from home today as he has fallen off the health waggon, I got him sausage and chips. Our chips in the UK, are your fried potatoes. Double delicious!

Double calories, but I did walk to get them. Haha.

 

My Hub as I said is working from home today. Oh my, he works so hard. I don’t know how he remembers where he is up to. I took him a cup of tea in before. I think he has been on the phone for the full day apart from when he took 11 minutes out to eat his lunch.

 

Oh, can you remember when I was going to the shops some months ago and a stupid man came up from behind me and demanded my money and phone? Turned out it was my crazy neighbour who is a practical joker. Well, he hasn’t spoken to me since and that is a shame. My Son had a word. I could have killed our boy as I didn’t ask him to do that but he was very upset by this guys actions. As I got a scare as I didn’t know who it was and I did for a while think I was being mugged. Well today he spoke to me in our avenue of all sorts. But he put a strange voice on. Oh, my, what is wrong with him? He said hello to me. Not using my name. and I did think it was another neighbour. He then shouted, Fiona, how did you know it was me? Then I recognized his voice.

Buffoon. Haha. Seriously, he needs help.

 

So many people spoke to me today most knew me by my name. it’s so lovely when that happens. Even fifteen minutes from home. Funny thing most of the people I haven’t a clue who they are. But they know me. Hahahaha. Oh, em, how?

Don’t answer.

  

It’s going to be a beautiful weekend I really wish I could go to the beach but sadly we are in this weekend. If only I could see just to drive wherever we need to go or would like to go. Life shouldn’t always be about needs. And it is for people who can’t see a lot of times.

 

A beautiful Blogget and friend of mine went out with a friend to buy some clothes. She wanted something smart and came back with something casual. Why? I think those of us who are blind may know the answer. We get what we are shown, not what we want. We are also on a lot of borrowed time. People who kindly offer to take us for things are doing it as a favour not because they want to. And it’s always obvious.

 

Talking of the beach, oh, it’s my total dream just to live facing the ocean. Why can’t I win the lottery? Oh, talking of lottery, listen to this.

 

Well last week during the night as Hub was away on business, I was sitting reading through my emails. It was about two in the morning and I was half asleep. I am always half a sleep, it’s the other half I struggle with.

 

So, this email said they had some news about my ticket.

ohOhOhOOOOOooooooooh

take me to that ticket? I clicked. And I got to the page. It asked for my password. I couldn’t remember it. Heck. But then I remembered I have downloaded the app…. Head to that rather than the link and my finger will do the talking… as I have finger identification.  

 

I went there and it worked, yes, I was in. now to messages. I won £30

Oh

Check again Fifi, have I read it correctly? Are there a couple of zeros’ missing?

Nope!

Only one zero. But the lotto got better.

 

A few days later. I received a notification to say I have a winning ticket on the Euro jackpot. Oh, my that was for over one hundred million pounds. Oh, my elephants’ dogs, dolphins, whales and cures funded for blindness I was about to help out.

Euro millions, wow,

Oh

Heck

I won wait for it?

£2.68

Are they for real?

My piggin ticket was £2.50

So, I won 18p

 

OK what are you up to this weekend? Have a great one whatever you are doing. Take care. Laters.

 

 

IF ONLY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Gosh what a day. It started off nicely. I went to our town to shop and gave Wags a stress-free walk to our park. There was a bite in the air but in general it was sunny and calm. Near the lake it seemed rather cool I do feel for the birds and creatures who make that water their home. And then the day got worse. I had a horrid job to do that I really didn’t want to do but it had to be done. And then some deep thoughts and not regrets, but wishes that things could have been different. Then a message from someone that left me feeling sad, worried, excited, happy and angry! Disliking myself even more than I do already.

 

Sometimes I wish I could wipe the board of life clean and follow my dreams, hopes and my own thoughts instead of being lead by others.

 

Regrets isn’t a word I like. Because what can you do with regrets? Most things in my life I absolutely am glad I did but a handful of decisions I made or what were made for me, I wish I had been stronger at the time. Those arrangements concluded in lifechanging moments. My life map has been sent on completely different tracks. Undulating dusty roads to hell and elevators breaking down on each floor of living until I got to the top and then the cables snapped, causing me to fall back down again.

 

We can say if only as many times as we want. What good does it do us? We can not change our past. We can live for today and hope for tomorrow, but what if our bad decisions really impact our future and our time today? Again, those words, what if? What if doesn’t get us anywhere when it comes to what if we had done something different. We didn’t end of. We have to live with that. Can we fix what is broken? I really hope so!

 

When will I learn, when will I trust myself to be in control of my own destiny?

   Some decisions in life have left me with a bitter taste. I can only hope and pray that in time a sweetener will be given to me and I will be free of the torture of time.

 

We blame todays wrongs, on past occurrences, we have to remember that no one is perfect, even those you think are amazing and have an idyllic life, have something in their past that they wished they had done differently, only they may not wish to share their news with anyone. So, you are not alone in thinking if only you had done things differently, but that doesn’t really help our own personal decisions does it?

 

Going over and over past words, thoughts, actions and decisions doesn’t help us now. remembering our past bad decisions is futile and only leads to misery and absolute negativity!

 

If we had of taken a different path, who knows, our lives may have been worse. We may have been left thinking if I had only done the opposite and the opposite would be to have the life we have now.

 

I could have done and could have been, but I didn’t and I wasn’t, so, I am what I am. Now, there’s a song title!

 

“I can’t take back the past, but I can fight for the future!”” said Shannon A. Thompson. I have read that focusing on our future is a great way to forget our past. Someone wrote something to me today that touched my heart and those words will stay with me forever.

“Memories haunt me!””

And they do me too!

 

 

 

 

 

  

A SMASHING SUNDAY DIARY BY FIONA CUMMMINGS

Good afternoon Bloggets. Firstly, I would love to say a very happy birthday to a very special person in my life. Claire wishing you all the best I’m sure you are going to enjoy tonight and the next week ahead.

 

If it’s your, birthday today, I would like to wish you a very happy birthday.

 

My poor friend is still really unwell in hospital. She has now been in hospital for eighteen days. Gosh I miss her so much and wish she was home.

 

If anyone has any tips on Chrysanthemum plants, please can you let me know? I bought two at the weekend. I went out on Sunday with Chloe and what a great day we had, though I really felt bad about leaving my poor Hub as he was really ill. It was on day two though so, he was heading in the right direction to get better. I was meant to go out for the day but went out for a couple of hours instead so I would be back so, I left him in bed with a cup of tea and off I went.

 

We went to a beautiful quaint market town that is so lovely but sadly it’s not a good place to live as the ground just keeps opening up… sink holes they call them. Such a shame as the birds sing, it’s peaceful and there are some nice shops but the people are really calm and kind. It’s a relaxed atmosphere for sure, not like city life.

 

In the pub car park, there were craft stalls selling such beautiful things. All homemade. The sellers were amazing. It was really funny and I’m just glad there were not too many people there as I of course totally showed myself up. Haha. Again.

 

I purchased something that was quite expensive and the seller wanted my email address so he could send me a receipt. Well as I called over to him in a clear loutish voice that my drama teacher would have been proud of, telling him my email…. Suddenly I got a feeling, you know, one of those feelings you get when something is not quite right?

 

I turned to Chloe and said. “Is it you who is writing my email address down?”” she laughed and said yes. The seller laughed too. I just replied, well, how was I to know? Hehehehe. People would be thinking why is she yelling an email address when the girl is right next to her?

 

But our day just got better…. We headed off to a garden centre. We were in the outside part. We got a trolley and on it I put two what American people call Mum plants. Oh, they were stunning. Big round balls of fragrant flowers. One was yellow and the other burgundy. I bought two lovely stone pots to go with them they are sand yellow. In my head that would look lovely with the colours of the plants.

 

Well, then we came to the garden ornaments. Oh, heck. There was a really large rabbit well knee height. He had a stone basket of nothingness which required a plant. I bought a pot of coloured flowers that stay with colour all year round. The pot fit perfectly in Bugsy’s basket.

 

Oh, but then Chloe said, there is a tortoise. It was really large. I had to add it to my basket. But then encouraging Chloe said it is the last one but there is a baby one left and he is the last one. Do you want the baby? Well, how could I say no? leaving the baby without his Mummy or Daddy? Then she said that word. The word I cannot say no to. Elephant! And he was smiling at me. How could I say no to him? The E, word. Oh, heck, Chloe don’t do this to me? I replied, how on earth will we get them all on the trolley? She answered she would go and get a bigger trolley. Well she returned with an industrial one. She packed all the items on it and then said there is a bird bath. Well I have wanted a bird bath for years. I have a small one which is like a plate with two pretty birds on it, but this was a real big one hopefully too big for the wagging one to drink from.

 

The price was so good. OK I said, lets go. Well off we went the garden centre was so quiet only the Nanna’s and Grandads whispered their respectful way around as if in carpet slippers in a library! Such a calmness about the place. I had a huge smile as I was so happy with my items. Then, suddenly, crash bang whollip.

What a picture. What a sound. What a moment. The noise was awful. As my plant pot came crashing down on top of my ornaments. Chloe said, oh, well, there’s the bunny’s ears gone?

 

As she scooped up the broken pot, she then picked up Bugsy and his ears, carried the hefty item back to his home, ears in basket and headed back to me.

 

I was purple. My morti has never been so fied!

She suggested that she gets a guy to help us over the step and she will tell the shop keepers that we broke the pot, but keep quiet about bunny’s ears. Oh, I replied, we can’t. she said well they shouldn’t have such stupid entrances. Hahaha. Off she went came back with a man who made the journey look so easy over the ramp and step into the shop. As we stood at the till waiting to pay, Chloe said you are not going to charge her are you for the broken pot? No, he kindly replied, it’s fine, and because I work outside, I can give you 10 per cent off because you have bought so much.

Oh, not only have I legally broken his pot, and unofficially his bunny, but now he is giving me money off? Cringe a little more. Pay and get me out of there?

 

As we went to the car, Chloe packed it so nothing would brake on the way home. We were going to look around the place inside and have a cup of tea, but I said no way, I wouldn’t dare enter that place again. Chloe replied, no, it will be fine, he won’t even notice the rabbit until much later, em, love, it’s a tall rabbit without his long ears stood on a practically empty stall as I bought the shop out. It’s pretty obvious? She replied, it’s fine come on I need a cupper.

 I thought to myself, I need a whisky and I don’t even drink and if I did, it certainly would not be whisky, though as the moments went on, a whisky was becoming more appealing…

 

Well we went back in and semi chilled with a drink and sandwich. She is such great company. She is as mad as me and so genuinely caring. Well, apart from when it comes to the stone world of animal rights…

 

We headed home, she carried everything out of the car. She is so strong. But she is half my age, yep, I know what you are thinking, too young to drive….

Hey.

 

I got such pleasure out of my couple of hours out. And back to Hub where I found him in a bad way, he suffers really bad with Trigeminal Neuralgia. Stress brings it on and when I first met him hospital wasn’t a stranger to him. Thank goodness that never happened again but he is never without pain and though it was Saturday when this flared up, continued on Sunday our Son said his Dad looked really white, it’s Tuesday and he said he is still in a fog in his mind. Not good when you are meeting with the C E O. Smile. I’m sure he will battle through it. Thankfully his flair up was over the weekend, but sad he didn’t get to come out to play.

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE MOUNTAIN (LONGEST POEM I HAVE EVER WRITTEN)#PoetryByFionaCummings

THE MOUNTAIN

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

I’m down at the bottom of the mountain

Next to a beautiful fountain

Wild flowers of orange, white, purple and yellow

Smell so good kind of make me feel mellow

I’m down at the bottom of the mountain

Looking up at you

Under the canape of the sky so blue

Pines planted along the path

Begging me to pass

I need to get to you soon

Before the marshmallow sky kisses its moon

Rocks before me seem daunting

It’s a summers morning

I find the strength to start my climb

To be hand in hand with what is mine

The silver birch does shine

The ivy with me climbs

My breath gets more laboured

Can I keep going so high?

Looking at you there in the sky

 I can just about see a smile

I can feel your love right through me

As I’m being pulled up by a strong tree

Its kind branches seem to encourage me

Giving me energy

I stop still on a huge stone

For a second I feel so alone

I can’t see you now

Hand to my brow

Looking, searching

But not even a shadow

I hang onto a willow

Feeling dizzy

Looking around and on its own is a daisy

Daisy and I have company

After a wrest on a grassy shelf

No time to be lazy

I hope you will wait for me

It’s you I am coming to see

Your name inside I call

As I pass the ancient waterfall

No longer at the bottom of the mountain

Said goodbye to the fountain

Half way up now

But still, where are you?

I turn to look back down

Wow what a view

What a surprise

I couldn’t believe my eyes

I see you standing there

Your beautiful silver hair

Your soul warming smile

You really do care

But you said you would wait

I have walked up over a mile

Nothing else I can see

Only you

And you seem to be holding your arms out for me

Begging me

So, I start to climb down

No longer the birds do sing

There isn’t a person in sight

But hovering above me is a dove

With a huge white feathered wing

It’s guiding me to the bottom of the mountain

Passing the fountain

 I look around, where are you

This cannot be true

At last a golden seat you beckon me towards you

Your hand in mine

I sip your red wine

I take your bread

I ask what you wanted

I couldn’t believe your answer

Telling me I was a dancer

Not ready to be a climber

But when it’s my turn

I will get to the top of the mountain

I said I have been too ill to dance

You said I had one more chance

You watched me come towards you then realised

You said I tried

But it wasn’t my time

I had to fight

But you would give me the belief

As the day turned into night

You filled my heart with relief

Kissing my forehead

These are the words you said

“You drank my wine

Child of mine

You have shown you have the strength to clime

To believe in me

So, in return

This is my plea

As the candles burn

We all need to learn

We have time in this world

We don’t need gold

As that won’t get you to me

We need a kind heart

A warm hug

A gentle kiss

 To get another turn

A second chance

So, my child

Respect the wild

And you will again dance

Love thy neighbour

 Fruits you must savour

Don’t give up

Take spring water from my cup

You are now healthy

Time to leave me””

And from the sky came a carriage

And you headed towards the evening sun,

 so, orange

I felt reborn

And with a yawn

I awoke

Someone spoke

Shouting she’s awake

And from my hospital bed

I looked to the ceiling

Oh, what a feeling

 

© Fiona Cummings

 

 

DIARY OF LUNCHTIME LIGHT LAUGHTER BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Good afternoon Bloggets. Well I called our vet today just to confirm the times for our dogs after last weeks crazy mix up, their fault I must add only to learn our appointment was ten minutes earlier than I thought… so, I hurried along Hub stopped working and on our way we went.

 

The monkeys in our local zoo were out in full swing… very excited they were too. My Waggs worked brilliantly thank goodness. She found the door it always amazes me when she does things like that.

 

It was their six month check-up. All went well thank goodness. Their weight was spot on thankfully I’m rather strict when it comes to my dogs’ weight, shame I can’t follow such a rule…

 

Our lovely vet called Ellie, seems like every girl under the age of 30 is called Ellie around here. But she is so sweet. I would love someone like her for my Son if he wasn’t connected already… she is so clever and so very kind she genuinely loves animals and is honest. But there is always a but. At the end of the consultation, she announced that her practice was closing. Oh, how annoying, it was so handy just a twelve minute walk from our house. Now it will be a taxi or bus job miles away.

 

So, what will our shop become? I would love a small Greek restaurant. But I doubt that as it’s not really big enough. I just hope it’s not going to be something like a bathroom shop. I hope it will be a shop we need every week. But what will that be? Hub doesn’t eat enough meat to warrant a butcher. I’m a vegetarian, a baker, lovely, but there is already one of those near the big shops in the opposite direction. A food shop we already have plenty. A florist? May be, a card shop we have a huge one near the large shops. So, it used to be a carpet shop. Talking of carpets, my friend has just got her kitchen measured and for exactly the same flooring, from one place it would be £400 and from another double. £800. That is day light robbery from the more expensive place.

 

Just shows, if you shop around, if you are fortunate to be able to do that.

 

Today is Friday the 13 and there is a full moon. I did ask the vet if the dogs she has seen have been howling, but she said no.

 

We have a lovely weekend planned so I’m really looking forward to that. Do you have any plans? If not, that is normally me. If you are not going out or have house plans, then chill. Put your feet up and relax your body. It’s said that if we have two afternoon sleeps during the week, then we lessen the chances of having a heart attack or stroke.

 

Last night we went out with our friends to our lovely pub. Gosh the bar worker there is such a flirt. With everyone… she said to Hub last night she had some lovely mint chocolates for him. I could have killed him, he said he’s fine, she could give them to our friend. Say wha’a’aa’aa’at?

Em, steady on Romeo, it was you she was offering them to, pop them in your pocket and I shall recover them from you?

But no, our friend got them. Fifi wasn’t impressed.

 

I guess my size 10 jeans will be grateful.

Did I say size 10 per leg?

 

Now laughter is said to reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure it’s good for your muscles and releases endorphins. So, let’s try your facial expressions out on these short funny quotes.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, rather than to   speak out and remove all doubt. Abraham Lincoln

 

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people seem bright until they speak.

Alan Dundes

  If you want your children to listen, best talk quietly to someone else.

Ann Landers

A stockbroker urged me to buy shares that would triple every year. I told them with my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.

That has to be my favourite one and I can’t remember the sir name of who said it but I think first name is Claude

 

And finally, a very different link. It sounds too good to be true. His voice doesn’t seem real, believable but if it is real this is huge news.

 Though I really wish to goodness they didn’t have to hurt poor mice.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL_CJfSJMi4&fbclid=IwAR03BEOsd4JMBA9QkwsB06UER4wsiQFXa_-lgNR3pYQFRFBN_ntwDHRu9Xg

 

SEEING INTO THE FUTURE BY FIONA CUMMINGS

We have passed the pumpkin hour in the UK. I’m sitting in my favourite chair next to the window. I have a lamp on. Why I can’t see? Well my dog can, though she is snoring in her bed. But she may wake up. But if I go to bed, I don’t leave a light on and she is OK? Alright, I’m a scaredy cat as apart from me and Waggatail, there is no one or nothing in the house. Well nothing that is making itself known to me and I would like to leave it that way thank you…

 

My beautiful Son is at his girlfriend’s house, only a scream away… haha. My dog took her last pollution for the night at 9 pm. Last time I was on my own she asked to go to the toilet at twenty to two in the morning as that was when the lid of my lap top closed. As my fingers were typing but my mind wasn’t connecting with them. Some would say what’s new??? Cheeky…

 

My eyes had been closed for ages, at least three paragraphs. As I stumbled towards the kitchen to put my empty cup of what was tea in the kitchen, my dog rather enthusiastically raced towards the kitchen door. Oh, no, Waggs, really? Did she think it was morning already? I guess it was, but not that late in the morning she was at least five hours too early. I kind of looked in her direction, as that is what I do still, I even look towards our TV. When it’s turned on of course… one night a few weeks ago, my neck was hurting I had been looking towards the TV for so long. I suddenly thought, Fifi, you numpty, why don’t you put your head where it’s more comfortable? You don’t need to look at the screen. Wanna know the best bit? We don’t even bother putting on our screen. We can make it so the TV sound is on without the picture….. Tell you what, the tube on our TV will last.

Just thought, it’s been ages since our Son watched TV with us, he sadly doesn’t any longer, for all I know, our TV may have had no picture for months. Hahahaha.

 

Anyway, I digress again. Where was I? oh, yes, my darling guide dog wanting the loo at silly hour during the night. I couldn’t refuse her. What if she really was desperate? I was sure she wasn’t she just wanted to forage what was edible in the garden, once a Labrador, always a Labrador!

 

Well it was rather funny. I put every light on the way to the kitchen door just to let the baddies lurking in the bushes know I needed a light to see and the rumours about the blind woman in number 41, wasn’t true. Then as we both Waggs and I, went through the conservatory and unlocked that door too, I stood looking left and right as if I could see again, just to let the baddies know I was watching them and then obviously I was so rock hard I saw them and still went outside. I’m so hard…

 

Well few, Waggs did what she needed to do, she thankfully came right in I think she got a shock how dark it was. We quickly locked the door, well, I did, Waggs is clever, but not that clever…. Door locking isn’t her forte!

 

OK, now onto a blog I have been asked to write about. In my last blog, I told you my mind does wonder… But in the end, I will get to the point, now, what was the point? Oh, yes. Deep thoughts alert coming up now.

 

My future. How do I see my future? I really hope a heck of a lot better than my past. Though my past has been so very different to anyone else I know. For bad reasons and unique reasons. Hence why one day I really hope to write my autobiography.

 

Sitting here in silence. No moving cars decorate our avenue of assorts and voices from our lovely neighbours will wait for some more hours. The only voices I hear are the ones in my head. Haha. Seriously, you think I’m joking? Nope! The outer voices I hear is one voice actually. It’s coming from the software on my lap top each letter I write to you, a mans voice reads it out to me. It’s an unassuming voice that I really like. If I was to listen to a talking book, I don’t like human voices. This makes me very different to most people who are blind and use talking books. Because I am so interested in psychology, I try too hard to Annalise a voice turning it into a real person before me. What is she wearing, what perfume does she like, is she kind? Does she have children? Is he happy? Has he murdered… is he religious? Where as with the voice I have on my lap top, I don’t get into a character of a person, it’s too robotic and I love it. It means I can concentrate on what I am writing about.

Now, what was I saying???

 

I go to bed most nights, not tonight, with eyes that don’t see. I wake up really honestly believing that just as fast as I went blind, I will regain my vision. How weird is that? I don’t know of any people who have gone blind who think like that. Do you? Are you one of those people? If so please let me know.

 

So, the birds sing, my alarm is beeping or playing an annoying little tune. Time to get up just as I was falling asleep.

 

It must be sunny as I can feel the heat on my face. But can I see it? Dare I open my eyes?

No. as I sit up slowly with such anticipation, I can’t see. But hey, wait, I will go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. By the time I get there, my eyes my new eyes, will have adjusted and I will see.

 

Slowly I open them properly looking into the invisible glass before me. My heart has stopped. How will I cope seeing my face for the first time in 21 years? I can’t scream. I may shock my sight into blindness again. I can’t jump with shock that I have aged so much that it’s not me in the mirror but a total stranger. A ghost? Someone standing behind me? Where will my face be?

 

I’m too scared to open my eyes. I feel it, I sware I do. I really believe that it’s all been a nightmare and I have been in some kind of illusion for over 20 years. I can’t stand there forever; I have to look. Here goes. Bang. My heart sinks to my stomach. A lump welcome itself in my throat that is so big if I open my mouth it will drop out.

 

I stand just to make sure I really can’t see. I’m in shock almost every single morning.

 

So, how will my future look? Will I ever get sight? I believe I will, though the older I get, the more I fear I will be too late for the train. My transport is running away down the tracks.

 

But because I can see the train in my minds eye, rather than just hear it, I know again, that one day I will, see. Even if it is not much, what is not much? Sunshine would be nice. The colour blue, my favourite colour. Even a tiny bit of my Sons face. His beautiful smile people talk about. His honest eyes. My beautiful Husband. One day, I want to be there to help him. I want to take him on holiday and walk hand in hand along a golden beach. Just the two of us. To be free. Free without worries.

 

One day, I really really need to see. People say I’m strong. Well for what I have been through means I am strong. Though strength isn’t something I have ever felt. But to go through my past and live to my now, I have to have the strength to wait for my future, and my future? What will that be like?

 

I hope the people I love in my life will still be here and I hope the people I have not yet met will be in my life and I can have one happy family. I hope I have grand children free of Retinitis Pigmentosa. I hope my house is full of laughter, such joy and my past is locked away in that bulging box inside of my brain. If only I could start again and pour the contents from that box out through my ears. But we are full of if only. when we need to be grateful for what we have now and moreover, what we can have in our future!

 

© Fiona Cummings

  

JUST BEFORE MIDNIGHT BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Dearest Bloggets, I bring you my words tonight of reflection and real life.

My Husband went to the capital to work yesterday. And today he is three hours away from home. Today I cleaned the conservatory all the glass in there. It’s 17 feet long by 10 feet wide almost all glass. Good for the arms…

 

My beautiful dear old friend Kinzie is still very ill in hospital.  I’m sick with worry about her. I hate hospitals I have no good experiences in people I love being in them. It makes it worse because she lives in my old home town and it’s so far away. My Son badly wants to visit her as she is loved by him so much. He has no memory of before her coming into our lives. He was four when I first met her.

 

I’m praying every day. Her daughter is great at keeping me up to date as is her Husband who I am also concerned about. He is like a Dad to me though he is a grumpy old bugger. I love him to the moon. Kinzie is his rock. Right now, she is crumbling like sand and I need a miracle to get her well again. It’s not helping she’s not eating or drinking.

 

Yesterday I got a lovely kind surprise. My sweet neighbour B, left some freshly grown pears on my post box. I was out when she called. She let me know by message. She has amazing fruit in her garden.

 

My tomato plants were a total disaster. I’m not even going to bore you with detail. But I won’t be attempting them next year though they grew almost as tall as me and I’m very tall.

 

Hub and I were watching a program about dogs last night. Oh, we know they are amazing but this dog was a working dog from Zambia. He was almost totally blind. It was his job to hunt out vehicles carrying ivory or animal skins weapons too. He has been responsible for 20 arrests. Out of 11 things the dogs were meant to hunt out with their scent, this blind dog detected all eleven. Much more than the dogs who could see. It’s said because he concentrated more on his job because he didn’t have any distractions. What I really loved was the connection he had with his handler and the best bit was when he got home after a long day at work, he had his very own plunge pool. How cute is that?

 

Every time he got a hit as in found something illegal, he was rewarded with his favourite toy. His handler played tug with him. He was or is, trained when he finds what he is meant to search for, he sits quietly, unlike the police dogs in the UK who go crazy when they find something. It was said that it takes a human about 3 hours to find items in a house for example but a dog, only three minutes. They are so clever.

 

Their part of their brain that picks up scent apparently is 40% larger than humans. My Son was telling me the other day that it’s said that in the future the fox is going to be a part of family life as people are wanting to try to turn them into pets. I’m not in agreeance with that. It was something he was reading.

 

Something I, was reading was really cute. A busker had no interest from the public but as he sang, he looked around and he had the attention of four stray kittens….

 

Just a fact thought you may be interested in. In space, Astronauts never snore. Something to do with gravity and their airways.

You didn’t need to know that? Oh, well, how about this one?  It rains diamonds on both Jupiter and Saturn. Bling bling!

 

Well Bloggets, someone asked me yesterday what the stats are now for countries reading our blog page from around the world so, here are the results.

United Kingdom

139,926

United States

126,538

Russia

10,924

Canada

10,306

Germany

8,105

Ukraine

7,883

Australia

7,868

France

3,027

South Africa

2,054

And that mysterious unknown region has knocked Ireland from the top ten at

2,027

Countries like Japan, Mexico, Sweden, Norway, Poland and many more countries are not in the top ten, but are as important.

So, in total reads we are speedily approaching 370,000 which is crazy considering I never thought more than 12 people would read in total.

 

I must tell you today I was out walking with Waggatail and I went to our park. I asked her to find the seat to the right… remember there is nothing to signify the seat, and the lake dangerously follows the seat. And, my Waggs likes water… And the seat is on a slight hill towards the lake. Oh, yes, I love to live dangerously…

 

Well she wagged her way to the seat…. Though I did think it was a little early, but I could have been wrong, it wouldn’t be the first time.

And, I was not wrong... amazing. She actually took me to a lady walking her dog. This is unusual for my dog because she isn’t dog distracted. I do wonder if the dog had a toy in its mouth? Well thankfully, I didn’t sit on the dog…. If I had of done, that would have been one very flat pooch.

 

I posted two birthday cards that are really important to me. I hope to goodness they get there!

 

I have a deep blog to write. Someone asked me to write of this subject, so, I shall close this one for now, and open new pages to type more words. As every blog as it may be obvious, I never really plan what I am going to write or in which style I shall word it, I write whatever is on my mind at that particular moment. So, my next blog I will be guided by a subject I have been asked to write about, but words will fill the screen or in my case, my ears that may even mean I go off the subject entirely. I hope to try to stick to the subject. Let’s see next!

 

Until then, take care and as we are before the midnight hour turning this poignant date into another day, another date, I wish to send my deepest thoughts to all those who lost loved ones during the painful cruel 9 11 eighteen years ago today.

The compassion solidarity and bravery that we learned about after the aftermath of that horrific day, will stay in our hearts forever and is a constant reminder that among evil, there is kindness. Standing side by side next to fear, there is courage and hand in hand with grief, there has to be hope!

 

© Fiona Cummings