LOSING MY BLOOD

This was written yesterday.

I know I said  I would be this new person, who would be harder with my teen and stop caring for him, but I can’t? How do I do this? All I can think about is, he has not let me know he has arrived at the farm that is in the middle of nowhere, but this is what he wants. I can’t make him any tea, as don’t think he will be back early. In fact know he won’t.

I feel like I have lost my only blood. My child. It really hurts. Did my parents  go through this? I doubt it, though having said that, it was so  different for them, as they had  to say goodbye to me at the age of six, when I was taken to boarding school! I will never forget the tears echoing down the long musk corridors of the dingy dark dreadful school. As she and my Dad left me so called tucked in bed.

Teen has been with me all of his life and we have been so very close. I really don’t want to lose him.

This morning, he was full of Bunches father. How much fun he is and how posh teen feels in his wonderful car. I want him to be happy and have fun and experience the life that I can’t give him, but I wish he would not forget he had us here too?

Tomorrow I will tell you of the chat I had with Bunches by the way over the phone. Oh it was not nice, it kind of hurt me. 

Oh we have a workman here, with chronic asthma. He has told me of his huge horse tablets he has been given by the doctor for his condition. God, I hope he will be OK and  doesn’t take too many of those pills? Or we will have to send him to the meat factory? Horse meat? Ha.

I think you will be aware of the scandal with horse meat in the UK?

When we  were out for a meal yesterday, the waiter, said to the people at the table next to us,

“We have fish cakes, 100% Seahorse!”

Hub in the capital tomorrow and the next day Peterborough. Home Thursday and Friday then off to the wonderful USA.

Oh lucky him, I would love to do that, not the meetings and hours in a airport, but the warmer countries and food, oh, lovely. I did hear some good news today, my little friend from school, the one with the beautiful name, is coming for a visit and a gossip next week, so that will be lovely.

Laters gators. x