SATURDAYS SUN

Gosh Bloggets, what a day so far? I had a really bad night as ever. Just no sleep. Thoughts and so many words going through my mind. Teen woke up and took Black beauty out for me so I was grateful. Thing is, looks like we have handed in BB’s lead with the harness, as, can not find it anywhere and he has been using Long Chops lead so far, but with her being away this week, we have just found out there is no BB lead.

So a real shame. I  have sent a message asking for it back, but we shall see?

Lots more later about our dogs on The diary of little Waggatail.

So This morning I woke up with an interesting feeling. One of those feelings I get from time to time but not often.

Well,  not often enough?

As my head lay on the pillow, my brain told me to think about how I was feeling and to react on my emotions?

“What?” Exactly my thoughts.

Whilst my stomach felt as though a squirrel was skipping, a butterfly was blowing bubbles and a gerbil was jumping, I had a feeling of absolute power. As the sun shun through my window, that warm feeling of hope placed its gift  upon my head. Held out its hand to me and offered me support. Not long after then, Teen left, like thunder  thumping through logs, and lightening lunging itself towards fury, so when that storm was over, the house was silenced. “Few. My day now, and my day I actually wanted,  was to start! Then I got a phone call from an angel. Well, an earth angel. My Yam from the States. We had a long  chat, and bless her, it was through the night where she lives. She also does not sleep. I tell you she is my before person. A person who has done in life almost everything I have done? It is like seeing your life in front of you with her. She did everything first, and I have followed her from another country and many many years  before we met. I am still doing what she has done now, but I am catching up with her now. She is the only person I have ever met who I can say, Gosh, you did that too?

So she is like, been there done that and it is so nice to have someone who has made the same decisions in  life. I don’t feel such a fool knowing someone out there has also been there.

She is such a wonderful person and We care for her so much and my Stolen Dad DD.

Who is her Husband and a real English Gent.

We put the world to rights and I got dressed and decided I was going out, even if it was to buy butter? Ha.

I let the  two dogs out and got all of my things together what I need for Waggatail. This was to be our very first solo walk. No one following us.  Hub in our Capital, Teen in town meeting with Bunches, The knowledge that I have phone numbers from church, helped enormously, with fears of going out.

 Oh my word? What a journey there and back? As I said, more later in the Diary of Waggatail.

I can only say, I feel so much better. I have been in a real downward path to hell this week. I haven’t spoken to my brick, my best friend, as he has been working hard and we just have not had the time, he  helps me with my thoughts as we are really close and I can trust him to make my life better, and my love has been away too long, so it has been hard. There is loads going on in my head right now, but I really hope, I can put that dreadful time back in the box until next time it breaks out of course, as I can not burry those  deep depressing doubts.

When I wrote my blog on hope yesterday, I really feel today like that helped me, so  I pray to God, and I don’t mean that in a biblical way, whoever your God is, that I have been able to touch one of you out there?

Yesterday when I wrote Hope, I never for a second, thought today I was grateful for such a word. A feeling, a gift.

A  gift I wish to share with you, my friends, my Blogget family!

My walk to the shops and back will be  in the Diary of Little Waggatail. But in short, I did something I was very afraid of doing, but I was given that hopeful feeling and I held out my two arms and hung on. Thank God, I didn’t leave go  of it, now, I am not saying I can do that every day? Who knows how I will  feel tomorrow, though I am going to church as  I am being collected to walk there, with a very lovely kind family, who are our friends since we  moved here. As Waggatail, has not been taught the route yet to do it on our own. Please keep looking for your chance to do something different? Take whatever chance you get at life’s experiences. Climb out of any hole you are in right now and if you are out of that hole, I really hope you can help someone else. So many people helped me today, they will never know how much, shame really, but they did and I hope to pass their kindness on. xx