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Thursday, 10 January 2013

TECHNOLOGY TODAY WITH A TWIST


OK, this is what I found on the net today, it is too weird for words, or should that be wired for words?

IT SEEMS like the last place you might find a sound system. And, indeed, a new in-built stereo ­system has been produced for the last place imaginable – a ­coffin.

The CataCombo Sound system could be the ideal gift for music lovers who really do not want to rest in peace. “Gyrating Mummies perhaps?

It allows people to compile their own personal playlist before they die so that their ­favourite music can be streamed into their grave.

The £18,500 system even allows relatives to update the songs for their dearly departed via Spotify and a Catatomb app, using a touchscreen built into the headstone.

 “How much?

The music is piped into the coffin via two way front speakers, four inch midbass drivers, “divine” tweeters and “a hell of an eight inch subwoofer”, its maker says. “Oh, right, I might have a look in my garage, and see if I have the equipment and tools to devise one of those right now?

They are all powered by a 2.1 amp and fine-tuned to the coffin’s unique interior acoustic space, which is fitted with an external cooling system so they do not overheat. “Don’t want those bodies getting a hot flush, do we?

The system is also completely soundproofed so it does not wake anyone in the neighbourhood.  “Sounds like a double glazing advert, (Buy the left side of the coffin and get the right free? So you buy one, you get one free?)

Inventor Fredrik Hjelmquist, a Swede, said: “Just because you are dead, you should not be ­deprived of the life-enhancing power of music. Some people believe that a beautiful melody can reach beyond our senses.

“What a party animal he is?”

“Now you can expect nothing less than godlike comfort and heavenly sound from the catacoffin.

“This is designed to allow customers to embrace their passion for music, in this life and the next. Hi-fi is my biggest passion in life, and I will take it to the grave.

“People in Sweden are so stuck up about death   I wanted to give them something to laugh about. “Oh, sorry, hang on a minute, Hahahahahahahaha. Are you all laughing out there?”

“I was very afraid of death and I wanted to lighten it up a bit.”

The coffin is linked wirelessly to the CataTomb headstone which comes with a seven-inch touchscreen LCD panel, a 2.5 GHz Intel core processor and even a 4G wireless internet connection.

The system will be powered by an electrical supply to the graveside with the amp in the headstone feeding the casket’s speakers and woofer. “Oh, I’m OK, I have three Woofers?

Mr Hjelmquist said so far he had only invented his own personal musical coffin – but was ready to take orders for more.

The 48 year old father of two said: “This is genuine   I’ve already got my own ready, although I’m hoping I don’t have to use it for a few years yet.

“My wife doesn’t like to see it but I haven’t yet put my final year on my gravestone.”

He added: “I’ve already had interest from a funeral parlour who thinks it will prove a hit.”

Mr Hjelmquist runs specialist hi-fi store Pause, one of the biggest in Stockholm.

Perhaps this idea could be a dead end, though.

PLAYLIST

1. Going Underground

2. Three Steps To Heaven

3. Ashes to Ashes

4. Stairway to Heaven

5. Living in a Box

6. Knocking’ on Heaven’s Door

So what do you reccon Bloggets? I really don’t have an opinion on it but found it rather fun to write about and thanks to “The Scotsman news for the report. No not Jock McKenzie, but the actual press.

 

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