Oh Bloggets, yesterday’s blog was a “What? Today’s blog is a
massive “Oh my Good God!”
…
Oh my word, what a laugh, are you ready for this one? I
must say, I do tend to be a blonde at
least once a day, in fact, if I have not had a blonde moment, I think I am ill!
Well, it’s not offen, I have more than one
Fi moment in one day, today? Oh Boy!
I woke up with a start. As though the house was on fire.
Grabbed the closest thing and put it on, as really my poor Son is truly traumatised
by the past sightings, of his naked Mother. I realised, that my teen had slept
in for school. Popped some bread in the toaster, got his pack lunch box, to see
what I could just throw in. Screaming like a banshee…. I’m not sure by the way,
what exactly a banshee is, but, I’ve been told, they scream…
“Get up, you are late, come on quickly hurry?
“Hmm!
Was the sound beneath the duvet?
“What Mum? I’m sleeping!”
“Do you know what time it is? You will be late for school?
Then he informed me, he was on a late. He didn’t have to go
in until ten.
Oh.
Well, how was I to know? Anyway, if he is off he should be studying,
right? Ha.
I just can’t get used to the fact he has days now when he
hardly is at school? Oh Gosh, it’s weird my Son has reached the age when school
is not a daily occurrence… God help me?
Please let him get the grades for college, though it’s going
to cost us a fortune, transport and lunch out every day, because a pack lunch
is not the done thing, when you are at college.
Apparently.
I must say, when I went to college, I bought lunch in the
cafeteria.
But I was 32. Ha.
So my old Blogget family, will remember, that I still am 32,
so I must still be at college?????
A girl can dream?
Well, that was that, I took a shower and got dressed for my
first visitor. My artist friend Gillian. We were to walk Waggatail and Black
beauty. When Gillian came, she felt sorry for Long Chops. Oh so did I? So Gillian
had the not so bright idea, of taking all three? Ah!
Let’s just say, we were took for a walk and Gillian said,
one of her sleeves had somehow shrunk, in comparison to the other? I laughed
and said LC, must have stretched her arm, it was really funny walking to our
park, as I started off with Waggatail on harness. Gillian kind of followed me
with LC and Little old BB. Well she kept telling LC, to sit? Hahahahahhehehehehehe.
Nahah, not a chance.
There was no sitting going on there.
I heard her voice getting further and further in the
distance. Waggatail was doing OK. I felt so bad, I had to stop? I ended up
taking both Wagga on harness and BB on my right? Well to be honest, that took
some doing? I didn’t know which blooming dog was guiding me? I must say, BB,
did the much better job?
They all had the best run. It was funny and we met some
lovely people including the most beautiful black German Shepard. A huge beasty
boy with a forever tail. Mind you, his owner was a bit of a grumpy pants?
But I met an X Solicitor, who had her own business as a dog
walker, as you do? She said, her clients, were much happier to see her now?
She spoke beautiful English obviously educated and now a dog
walker?
We got home after Waggatail got a little friendly, with the
ducklings and a very close; too close, for comfort, Lc, got to a cat.
Chatted for half an hour and then round two. Paula came. Off
we went to the garden centre. Oh God, that was fun? I will write about that
tomorrow. As really have to tell you this one.
OK, Got home, with all of my lovely plants, teen kindly put
them in for me? Now he didn’t water them, or put the new compost on, but half
job Harry did the most important thing, I can water them and the soil? Hmm.
Possibly, but I would like to soil where we planted, knowing me, I will soil my
statues. Gardening is not my thing, I can’t touch dirt, yuck and a capital
YACK!
So just got all that out the way, then the groceries
arrived. So, I heard the van, I opened/unlocked the front door, and you know
when you have that somehow vacant look
upon your face with that kind of gormless expression as though can see the
driver, and you are giving him a friendly smile?
You don’t?
Oh you unfriendly lot? Well, I guess you may know if you are
visually impaired? So there I am at the door, smiling now I have done before,
where I am standing there, five minutes, smiling away at a driver and wondering
why he is not coming in. Realising after a while, that he is a taxi for a
neighbour and not my shopping man? But this one was almost worse.
I opened the door, stepped back in the porch with this simple
look upon my face. Oh he took forever and I knew he was the man, as I could hear
the sounds of the shopping baskets coming out of the huge van. Well my front
door is half glass, but it’s frosted. I have a permanent expression of friendliness
on my face. Then I realised, the blooming front door, had blown closed? So it
was shut the whole time…… I was smiling at the closed door…..
Oh God? Then it got worse. I bought a birthday card for my BF
now; he is very much into massage? OK, bear with me at this point, as really I
can’t not believe what I am about to write?
Now the local shop sells awful cards and he is my dear
friend and wanted to get him a lovely card. All it said on the description, was
a card for a man, featuring a massage table? Well, he used to give massages for
a job. Perfect, yes?
No.
Now, also bare in mind, this birthday card came with the
baked beans and the frozen cheese macaroni?
Putting the shopping away, teen shouted in horror,
“Mum, who is this card for?
“Dooby’s birthday.
No Mum, you can’t?
“Oh don’t tell me it is for a girl? Oh they said man?
“Mum, do you know what it has on it?
Here we go Bloggets.
A huge penis. With two men massaging it, with the words,
“Have a ball?
Oh! Oopsie.
Now then, I can phone
up tomorrow and say they did not describe the card and I want my money back, or
give it to a gay relative of mine?
Teen says the latter is not a good idea, what do you think?
I just could not believe the picture?
What ever happened to those innocent days?
But a fun day, interesting call from Hub more tomorrow and I
shall tell you about the rest of my day.
With love. xxxxx
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