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Wednesday 16 October 2013

LEARNING TO BE BLIND PART 1 BY FIONA CUMMINGS


As most of you will know, I was in my opinion fortunate to be able to see until my Son was one. Not quite as fortunate as that gift of sight came with some pretty harsh consequences, one of them being I only started to live a full life in the blind world about four and a half years ago.

I’m still learning so much, and the things I am learning, I feel somewhat embarrassed to say the least.

The main thing I learned this year is to see with my footsteps. I never used to feel with my feet as I was walking.

 When my Son was a toddler, I used to what I call ski, as I didn’t want to break his toys by me standing on them, but never what I would call felt with my feet.

I can honestly say out of fifteen years of blindness, I not once have until this year, felt the undulating pathways/roads.

It’s weird to do or should I say, to learn how to do this. As specially when ones young feet spent many hours in five inch heels. Totally unnecessary as I am five foot nine and have been since the age of sixteen and before that, just under from the age of fourteen.

So my feet suffer from the numbness of youthful fashion.

Simple things like tactile paths, I never used to look out for, this makes me feel ashamed as it is so easy to know where I am when I feel things like that? Also the change in the paths like from concrete to tarmac.

My Husband knows when a van is parked before we get there and if it is a large van, or a small car.

He knows the difference between a wall and a hedge, without even having to touch them as we pass.

 even when we were, on the bus the other day, I got so angry with myself as I still cannot get the route in my head from home to town, from town to home. I was so frustrated and my Husband is as calm as he explains things to me. You would think he was such a pro, he would just not bother thinking I’m a fool?

He told me to wait till the bus turned two lefts. But the bus didn’t turn an obvious left, ever so slightly, and the concentration to realise that it has turned is just horrible. He said it did turn a tiny amount, but, you listen for the indicator.

“The indicator?” I exclaimed. How could I hear that over all the people talking? My Hub said listen with care and I would hear. Well, I did, he even had to tell me what kind of sound the blooming thing made.

As it was not like the indicator in a car. I was so embarrassed to think I had honestly never ever heard that sound before. Why? My Hub said because I never had to. I lived in a very much sighted world and my X was sighted so could drive and he acted as my eyes in so many occasions.

But such a simple thing, how doesn’t my Husband laugh at me? Now I know this sound, I hope next time we go on a bus, I will be able to say, next stop is ours!

 

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