CROSS WIRES

Well, writing this now, not sure when you will be able to read what I have to say. My land line is not working, I can’t get the phone to ring in or out and when I pick it up, there is silence. Not only that, but my internet is also down. So they must be connected. I will try when Teen comes in, to ask him if he will try to connect me onto our business line, as for me, to have no phone is a terrifying thought and to have no internet is my connection with reality, company and not so reality.

I really don’t like BT. They say they can do a check on our phone line. If it shows to be our fault, they will charge £129. Well, I phoned them to let them know the other day it was so bad the line we could not hear the person on the other end and some days it would ring and then cut off. They said, through an automatic voice, they would run a check. Ever since then after replacing the hand set, our phone has not worked at all.

The fact is, they could say it’s our fault then charge us and who is to say it is us? I mean, how can we check if it is us?

So whilst at the moment Bloggets, I am putting words to a silent audience, I hope to connect my voice to the world soon.

I just wish teen was here so I could sort out the internet.

Having said that, today has been one of the worst days he and I have shared.

 There was a silver lining though. I spoke to his Father, the x and he has agreed to be a bit more grown up in life, so let’s hope he meant it?

Just spoke to my mad aunt G. She wanted to know when Hubs birthday was.

I told her, three weeks ago.

Then she said she had her calendar out, and wanted to tick when we could see her.

She then said.

“I had a great idea, when I come though, why don’t we go to Marks & Spencer’s?

 

 

“Sure!” I exclaimed.

At least she bothers. Bless her.

Teen is out at a restaurant. I asked him where he was going as it was with friends. He replied just a cheap one. I thought, God, a name would have been enough, I mean, kids his age, should be going to “cheap ones!”

He looked really lovely, he is such a smart young lad, even though his hair, or lack of it, is a bit of a mess right now, but it can always grow in again.

I had a lovely neighbour today, bring me a window cleaner. Thank God. At last. To get one, was a nightmare. Asking all the neighbours for well over a year, and at last… Few.

Oh, guess what Bloggets? I got the passport from Teen.

At least now he knows he can’t just disappear. I would put nothing past one person he is with to do something like that.

To get it, I went through hell as did he.

He has spent all day telling me what a dreadful Mother I am.

Because in his words, I brought him up so differently to any of his friends.

I would not let him out after nine until he was 12.  And before then, I would not let him play out of the street, until he was seven.

I never stopped him from playing in the street, or in gardens nearby but how was I to go and look for him if he left where I could just shout on him? If he went to a friend’s house and it was told to me and the Mother would bring him back, fine, but not just wondering off.

That makes me a bad Mother.

I always used to make him say thank you to the host of the birthday party of whatever child… Gosh, what a bad person I am teaching manners.

I would not allow him to wear designer clothes, until he was 14. Well, this is half true. He wore designer clothes until he was about three, then they got too deer and the fact is, I had no money and the x would not give me any, so how was I to be able to buy designer clothes?

I made him wear his hair long until he was five. Yep, I did this crime because he had beautiful hair. A stunning blonde and soft with curls, OK, not fashionable, but I believe that if you have nice hair, why kill it? Cut it off? Of course I know he can’t wear his hair like that now, but when he was thirteen, he chose to grow it long, much longer than what I ever had it. He straightened it too.

How girly is that?

I should not have talked about my divorce in front of him. Agree. But we are not perfect. I have one child. No family to learn from. My Mother and I were parted most of our lives and there are no rule books as a parent, as one parents idea’s, often conflict with another’s.

I’m not perfect, but I adore my child and want the best for him. But to constantly get hammered, is now really grinding on me.

Did I tell you he didn’t go to college today? Hmm. didn’t tell me either that he wasn’t until ten minutes before his bus. I said that he had to go as it was now days before his exam. But guess what? He did as he wanted. His life. My words can’t tell him how important exam results are and for sure I’m not repeating the hell I went through when he was at school.

Well, 28 days before my friend comes from Russia. Great. I bet I’ve aged. She won’t have… She looks about fifteen years younger than her years. My friends and Teen say.

There are storms forecast on Monday. Guess what day my Hub is coming back from Canada? Monday. Guess what day he goes to Brussels? Monday.

I must say I have the heating on tonight. It’s freezing and yet, it’s been nice today.

Right, I shall go and try to publish this and see if my connection can be made yet and see if my wires are finished having a hissy fit. X