Teen troubles, tortured by what may never happen

 I’m so excited. My darling Husband is taking me to my favourite capital of Britain. Edinburgh for my birthday. I am so looking forward to it and Teen has kindly offered to look after the dogs for the overnight. One night in the hotel and a visit to see a lovely Scottish friend.

It’s through the night again and I’m up. So is my poor Son. He is due to get up for college in just a few hours and he came bombing downstairs in such a panick asking about the chances of him going blind like me. Well, my eye condition is hereditary, and I can’t begin to tell you the years of pure pain, praying that he would not have my RP, and so far, our maker has been kind enough not to  have given him what I have.

My Son in the early hours of the morning started to read to me from his lap top research he has been doing. He naturally was in a state about it. I told him that so far, he has not got it and because I had it from birth, the chances of him having it is slim, but that doesn’t say he won’t get it in the future, though it will be a very rare thing if he does. Not saying he

Won’t be a carrier, but as for him having it now, I almost can guarantee it. As for the future? I don’t know. He wants to go for tests, so that will I think be the next thing for him. I pray every day he will be OK.

Poor thing. What do you say when your child asks

“Mum will I go blind like you?

As especially when you are not expecting it? My mouth is dry I feel sick. I’m shaking inside and I just want to cry.

My Husband is a sleep and how can I burden him with my worries as he too of course is blind.

It would be like rubbing salt into the wound.

I hope teen sleeps now. He will be stressing for sure. But I hope I have managed to put his mind at rest as I am almost sure he doesn’t have my eye condition.

He can still see perfect when it’s dusk also in the evenings / dark.

He reads quickly, so not seeing single letters like I used to. He can see things moving when he is on the move and I believe in angels and my angel’s will I pray, protect him from my disease.

I still can hear him upstairs moving about. God I hope he goes to college in the morning?

My lovely friend has my eye condition, her young Son has it and now they have found out, his little boy aged two has it too.

But my friend cannot trace who had it before her.

As for me? As far as I know it, it’s not in my family, haha, family, that is a joke, I should say oven and sperm Dona.

It’s like Russian roulette! When will it be your turn? A cruel disease.

Why can’t I sleep? Well I went to bed at a decent time and put on my P Pod. Listened to some music and fell asleep during Eva singing somewhere over the rainbow.

I slept for a short time. Woke up. Then that was it. Half an hour or so was my sleeping time. Then I lay there bored stiff. Restless and word hungry. So I came to write what? Not sure. Started telling you how excited I was, and then slam.

Teen troubles, tortured by what may never happen.