PROVERBS FOR LIFE

I read a couple of good proverbs today

We do not care of what we have, but we cry when it is lost.

This is so true isn’t it? If I can say anything to anyone today it would be to look at what we have and respect it or, them!

We can take so much for granted

Sometimes though it’s a bit hard to actually show our feelings?

We either don’t have the tools to do so or are unable to break lifetime’s habits of not opening our hearts. I feel that you can only do such things when you have had hard times.

If your life is perfect, then how do you learn?

Sometimes though I think to myself. “OK, I have had enough rubbish thrown at me, I have learned. I have been a good student, taking in all of the lessons. Now. Please, can I have my certificate and move on to the higher classroom and live an easier life?

I think when I met my Hub, that was my Head teacher telling me that I had passed one stage in life. But how long will I have to wait to the next move? I mean, life for sure now days is better than I have had for the first few decades, All good, has happened in the past five years Hub and I have been together, but among that good, has been so much pain, sadness and hurt as well as uncertainty too. Some people just seem to have a very fortunate life where by nothing or at least not much has gone wrong for them.

Some will say they are on the first stage of discovery. I did that first stage before I entered life as we know it. I fought through the failed trials of the attempts of an abortion. Many times in my life, I wished she had succeeded in that termination, but having my beautiful Son and days like I had with friends of late, make me realise I had to be born for a reason.

This year has been tough for Hub and me. Really tough. In five years we have been through more than most couples have been through in fifty years, we are still together and I pray will be forever, as he is my first love, last love and beyond this life I’m hopeful we will love in another life, if we remember each other? I mean, I do believe we lived in another world before this one, and I feel when you get the feelings Hub and I get, it’s not just from this life? It’s from another lifetime we can’t recall.

I have talked before on this blog about regressing and my experiences and although was very sceptical it was an interesting time.

I do believe Hub and I knew each other in another time. You know when you meet a loved one for the first time and you have some kind of electric between you? That to me is not normal.

I have been in love twice in my life. Once my Russian boyfriend when I was really young. Now he was a physical love. I could see and he was the most handsome man I had ever seen in my life. Then my now Husband. I loved my Hub when we were tiny children. The first time I set eyes on him, I fell in love with him. My stomach had butterflies, though we were so young. I didn’t see him after he and I were boyfriend and girlfriend for four years, for 28 years. By this point I was blind, so there was no physical as I knew it with my Russian boyfriend. The old feelings for him came back. Excitement and admiration. But there was something else I will never be able to put my finger on it what it was. Like a feeling of belonging. I felt like he was a God. A creator of all kindness. A love that is beyond how we should feel.

He was a key to my new life my life of living and my God, we have lived. I am living in the blind world now where as before, I still was very much trapped as a blind person in a sighted world.

My x Husband was great in the respect he took me shopping and saw things like stains on the floor I had cleaned all day saw marks on the walls from the dog and so on, this life now, we see things in such a hard way, but we deal with it so much better. My x used to read letters so I didn’t have that worry. Now we or I should say my Hub scans letters, it’s hard, it’s frustrating and time consuming, but we do it. We can, opposed to I can’t.

I last night felt so blessed to have my Son. A lot of people don’t have children and yes, he has caused  me such stress this year and I am sure will continue to do so though it is thank God becoming less painful now days than before a month ago.

Only because I give in now, as that is the only way.

He has to learn in his own way which is a total nightmare to watch as I see him making so many mistakes but when I tell him, it goes very wrong. It’s like watching someone you love so much falling and not trying to catch him. In my nature, I help, fuss but can’t just stand back and see someone hurt. Problem is everyone is telling me to let Teen go through what he has to and be there for him when he needs me. I just panic that he will go through hell forever and live the life I did with his Father.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate his Father, he was my life for 23 years, just we didn’t belong together, though as I always say, he was the best Son in law my parents could have wished for. You know how important my parents were to me.

I started this blog not knowing what I was going to write and look at where we have come? In fact, have we got anywhere?

I guess what I hope to say is if you are really low in life as a lot of my friends are right now for so many reasons, please don’t give up, and going back to proverbs, there is a one from I think it’s Germany? Begin to weave and God will give the thread.

On that note Bloggets I shall end this blog, but I will be back very soon. Xxx