JOKES AND GRUMPS

Well, the night turned into the kind of evening I expected. I’m now bored and fed up. Nothing to do and no one to talk to. God only knows what I have done to my Son today, but the name calling has been as professional as ever and his nasty genetic tongue is as twisted as his Fathers. It’s a little after nine and I am not one per cent tired, so apart from more housework, I don’t know what else to do? Apart from writing, sadly I have no hobbies. I guess you would call me a bore?

I used to spend hours playing my piano. I’m talking many years ago. I’m rubbish at it now and have forgotten all that was taught to me.

Hub can play so easily and sing too, so I would have my own entertainment, but he doesn’t like to do this. Such a waste, isn’t it? Teen plays the guitar too really amazingly well, again, hardly plays and he certainly won’t play for me.

The only thing he plays for me is hell. Hehehe

I think there must be something in the air as my three dogs have been in their beds all night too. Oh tomorrow, if the weather allows us, I’m out with Arty with two of the dogs, BB and Wagga. Unless I take LC? But I don’t think I will be able to walk her, she is a nightmare, so I will have to feel rather guilty when leaving her looking out of the glass door to us all on our way out.

I have had two nights when I have been in pain with hunger, as I am not eating or trying not to eat after six, but if it’s keeping me awake, this is not good.

So this week’s shopping, I have ordered yogurts and lots of tomatoes. Nice combination? Haha.

Obviously I won’t mix them but have them separately.

God, I hate bad nights like this one? I even tried to have a bath to relax and the stupid tap kept falling off the wall into the bath.

It’s a really old bathroom, but it is here to stay for many years.

I cooked fish for tea and the house stinks of it. I did have a candle burning that my friend bought me for Christmas, but someone, removed it for his bedroom, so there it burns right now. Upstairs smells beautiful, down here? Hmm.

OK, grump over; I shall end this blog on a high, haha. A joke, so some would say, “oh no… Here goes!

I used to drink all brands of beer. Now, I am older Budweiser!

 

Get it?

No?

Oh!

Try another one then.

What do you call a group of musical pigs?
An oinkestra!

 

Has that made you pink with laughter?

No?

OK, you lot are hard to please, one more.

A man walks into a bar, and tells the bartender to pour him a 12 year old single malt scotch "before the trouble starts." The bartender pours his drink and quietly moves away.
After finishing his drink, the man calls the bartender back and tells him "pour me a 15 year old scotch before the trouble starts." The bartender thinks this is very strange but pours him the 15 year old scotch.
After finishing that drink, the man tells the bartender to pour him an 18 year old scotch "before the trouble starts." The bartender is becoming a little worried, but pours him the 18 year old scotch.
Before the man finishes his 18 year old scotch, the bartender finally gets up the nerve to ask: "Say friend, when this trouble is going to start?" To which the man replies: "The trouble starts, when you find out that I don't have any money."