FUNNY RUBBISH

 It’s so cold tonight. I just would love a hot water bottle, a thick soft blanket and a cup of tea. All toasty in bed.  But I have work to do. I always have work to do before bed. This is why I am not tired

I do not know how much rubbish we go through as a little family. Our bin is overflowing and we have another couple of days to go before bin day.

As for the recycle bins, well, that was to go out one day, it did go out, but we forgot to take it to the end of the drive, so we left it near the top of the drive, the drive is about eighteen foot long, so six meters long, the bin men can see them, it’s on their list to bring the bins back to the top of the drive, so wouldn’t you think they would say, oh we will just go and get them? Oh they were so full too. Our recycling bins are so dreadful. One for paper, one for plastic and one for glass. Small boxes. Our last house was great; it was one huge wheelie bin for all recycling, well, all but glass.

The ones we have here, the lids blow off, they are so small when they are empty, and they blow down the paths. Crazy.

I said to Hub a great idea I thought. Kind of like a large chest of drawers. Three in total. The height of our wheelie bins you pull each drawer out. Paper, glass and plastic.. Because they are like drawers, they don’t blow away, and it looks tidy.

Well, we have no step into the house still. It’s a huge step. About three foot.

Now, we have a very important lady coming to the house tomorrow in her suit. Haha. High heels for sure can you imagine? How embarrassing?

The workman said to us today, how would we get out of the house if there was a fire? I told him I would have to climb on Hubs back.

Oh he did laugh?

In fact, he laughed so hard, I thought I was going to have to pat his back. It was as if he was choking.

Oh a horrible thing happened today. A car went by and then all we heard was the horn of their car.

The horn went on and on and on. Just one long horn sound.

I said to Hub it could be someone having a heart attack. I felt so sick as not long after then, an ambulance came by and stopped just where the horn was sounding off.

Oh I imagined all sorts. Mainly thinking of the family.

I made some soup today. It must be the easiest soup ever and so much cheating went on.

I chopped some potatoes and carrots. Put them in a little bit of water with a stock cube and some celery salt. Then in went chopped onions, peppers and lots of garlic.

I then added two cans of tomatoes and then baked beans with chilli sauce. Oh, and some herbs too. It is OK, not the best, but very taste tingling. So much back kick to it. Hub loves it.

They had chicken too. Oh awful, I had to slice the poor chicken. Just after I thought my canary, Irish you know, had died yesterday, then today slicing a bird. Yack Yack and double yack.

I’m glad I’m a vegetarian.

OK, going to have some olives and then sort out life here before peepies. Haha.

Oh a funny story before I go. My boy sent for some deodorants yesterday online. I thought they were a bit quick when a parcel came today?

Anyway when he came in from college he was pleased to see his parcel. I said, they came quickly?  And they are huge? He said he knows, they are a great size. I asked what kind they were. He answered Scotch Gard

I said,

Oh my God? Don’t put that on your skin?

He said

“Sorry Mum? What do you mean?

I said that is for carpets Son.

Oh I felt so sorry for him thinking he has wasted his money.

He laughed and told me they weren’t deodorants, they were coming later; the cans were for his suede boots.

Haha. Few?

Hub said

Heck, how many pairs of boots do you have?

Anyway, the cans are to protect his boots/shoes from wet weather.

Scotch Gard also is for carpets.

Reminded me of my dear Dad when we stayed in a caravan with my Mum and X.

Dad was in the bathroom and came out all in a fluster.

I could see then. I looked at him and laughed.

Dad, what on earth is that on your hair?

He answered all in white foam.

“Oh I was trying to stop my hair from curling up so thought it was hair spray. Hahahahaha

OK, the hint would or should have been the white foam coming from it, to say it was my exes shaving foam.

He looked so funny.

Almost as funny as when my friend came from Russia for the first time she left the former Soviet Union and she knew nothing western.

Well, we went to the ladies toilet when we were in the shopping centre.

We came out of the loo. Washed our hands in the sinks and tried to dry our hands in the  hot air machine. When no air came from the machine, I told my friend that they must be paper towels and to pull from underneath.

She did.

I said pull the leaver?

She did

It made one heck of a noise. Well, my friend didn’t stop there; she banged the machine, causing a massive noise. I was standing there not seeing enough in those days to read what was written

Tampons….

Hahahahahaha

Oh when we realised what we had done, we looked around with red faces to see three women looking at us. In disbelief.

Needless to say, we vacated the wash rooms with wet hands…

OK, silly me must dash and I will be back in the morning to have a chat. Xxxxx