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Thursday, 10 December 2015

OPEN MIND GONE TOO FAR?


Good morning Bloggets. It’s pouring with rain and Hub has just left the building. Haha. Really I am shocked, no way I would go out in that but he is determined that he is going to qualify tomorrow and the route he will do he has only done once until today so he needs the practice. With his almost white dog and the rain, it’s not going to be good. As for his poor trainer? Bless her, she never complains. I will have a nice warm cup of coffee for her on her return. I can tell you that the Little Fella is doing so well. Tomorrow I hope they both will qualify and I hope my Son will be able to put a picture on here, but nailing him down to do anything for more than one minute? May be a challenge.  

 

Our Son has a long drive home from work today in this dangerous weather too. His boss has asked him to stay on another month but teen said no. At first it was meant to be for two months that turned into three now they want four? Well, it’s already cost him his insurance. He went over the five thousand miles he was allowed to go. He has one now that allows six thousand and he is almost at that already. Then what will he do?  I hope scrap his car and just live local until he can afford a newer car. One that isn’t a death trap. He will work across our road almost when he is finished his training but his boss wants him there where he is now, I think full time to take over the roll he has been training for. If not for the distance, then he would, but two hours driving per day for a kid is too much especially when like today he had to be up at five and won’t be home until half five. He has a long shift today. He hasn’t had a holiday since July. But he is due one next week. Not sure how much is going to be a break for him though as he has to go up north. His father has told him what to buy him for Christmas so he has to take that. And it is going to cost teen £100, plus the petrol to get there and back. Means all this week he is working for nothing.

 

Gosh, we almost moved to Australia some years ago. We were three weeks off going. Long story short, we stayed to the huge disappointment of teen and myself. Mind you, if we had have gone there, we wouldn’t have moved here and I love it here. I can’t believe it, this will be our forth Christmas in our house. I thought the day we left Northumberland I would never feel at home, but I do here, as at home as one can after a childhood at boarding school.

 

Out of the small group of friends from our school days, we are close friends or is that, allies? There are six of us who see each other regularly and I would say that all but perhaps one will be friends for life.

 

So Northumberland v Australia? Ha, we don’t have seven of the most dangerous creatures that are seven out of ten in Northumberland, unlike Au, but the change for us all was welcoming. Not sure how teen would have seen his Father though. It would have been a scary time but we would have made friends and learned how to adapt to the new lifestyle. The size of the country did put me in fear. Especially as Hub was to cover the whole of Australia with his job. He had a gut instinct and three weeks before moving there he pulled the plug. Gosh he got some stick from Teen and myself. Now on reflection, do I wish we had still gone? Well, if we had we wouldn’t have moved here and I would not have made such lovely friends also we wouldn’t see our besties Trix Like and Hanz, JB and Trace and this would have been awful, but teen wouldn’t have met the woman from hell of a girlfriend when he was fifteen until now. Once again she is trying to get close as she knows she made a huge error in her summer decisions. 

 

Sometimes I would love it if we could sit back and watch like a parallel screen of another life. So it’s us still but the decision we didn’t take has been taken by us but our double if you know what I mean? So now I would watch the screen and listen to my voice talking about what it is like living in Australia. I would introduce you to my new friends if I had made any that is, but I’m sure we would as they are a friendly bunch.  As for Olga in Russia, hmm. That is an interesting one. As her and I would still be talking though we wouldn’t see each other the same. I would have still had the image of her and her Son who I still love and always will. The image I learned about last year.

 

Oh, my brother and family well, we wouldn’t be in touch like we are now. Teen would he be working if so doing what? Would he have been eaten by a shark? I must say, our innocent stunning coasts in the north east are bitter cold, but there were no summer threats of swimming there.

 

Now my brother in law and his partner are moving out there, what will happen? Will we ever see them again? It is at the other end of the world. I can’t even imagine travelling so far by aeroplane when we went to America, I thought I would die being up in the air so long, but there was such a pleasure at the other end waiting. Our dear Yam and DD. With whom they introduced us to and the life they showed us has had a huge effect on our lives and will forever.

 

Talking with teen he said he will never ever forget his time in America because of Yam and DD.  Because of his time with Chuck and on the ranch. That family feeling we will never forget. Making memories that will last forever was so special and I don’t even think they relies just what an impact they had on our lives. And will have forever.

 

If I hadn’t have been reunited with Hub thanks to Jan who organised the reunion, and for sure a divine intervention, we wouldn’t have got to America. Not to be introduced to such special people. Funny how our lives can just be switched on and off like the TV. Are we the entertainment for aliens? If so, what channel am I? Hehehe. Don’t answer? Cheeky?

 

It’s all about what corner to take and when. I do believe our lives are map out for us. Gosh, until seven years ago, whoever was in charge of my map was a pretty cruel person or thing. I had forty years of hell. Forty years of fear feeling alone and lost though I had such love from my parents. I spent little time with them as was away at a very horrid school and on my holidays spent time abroad in hospitals. Just searching for that cure for my eyesight.

 

There is another channel you see. If I didn’t go to Russia for all of those years, I wouldn’t have met some amazingly famous people including our queen and a spiritual God in my opinion. That is Muhammad Ali and so many other famous people who I will always remember. I had some incredible times memories things that just shouldn’t have happened to little normal me… But, when it comes to normal life, normal living, gosh, well, I would have gone to the very good school where only brilliant exam results were expected of the pupils, this would have lead me onto University and a hopeful job. Or a career. A totally different me I guess. Gosh what would I have been like? I think I would have gone down the road of psychology. So I would hope to help others, whereas now? I need the help haha haha. I could be a case study. I tell you when I did my counselling course; most of the students did need help. I guess that makes a great counsellor, if one has had a challenging life? Whereas telling that to those teaching you how to counsel, won’t agree. They like you to have a clear mind. I can see both ways. How can one empathise when one hasn’t lived? And how can the counsellor be opening minded if they are faced with a situation similar to theirs? Hmm.

 

I can always look back and say what if, but it’s good to look forward and ask when?

 

I guess you never know your future. You can plan but your plan isn’t in your control. You can steer your car but the wheels may have other ideas.

 

I don’t know what has got into me this week. I’m so rambling I just hope I don’t lose my Bloggets by doing so? Tomorrow’s homework is to go back to shorter blogs and strait to the point. I guess the past few days have been an inside to my mind. A very odd place to be. A true case study for those who are intrigued by the mind for sure.

 

The short an yet what seemed to be forever six months when I lost my eyesight then my Dad then my Mum, I went a little crazy. Who wouldn’t? I was scared out of my brain. I had my baby to look after. How was I as a newly blinded person to do this? I couldn’t see how to do his bottles to measure them and I had no one to help. To change nappies? It was a nightmare. As well as that I had Charles Bonnet syndrome and that was so frightening. But I didn’t understand it I had never heard of it at the time.  When you know you are blind, you have your one year old child in your arms and a man steps out in front of you? Oh, never ever will I forget those days.

I didn’t have anyone to talk with. I didn’t have the internet. It was a few years after the most shocking day of my life when I learned of something that scrambled my mind and always will. Those days were hell. And now?  I am moving on though scarred. People say scars heal now days. I think they may be there forever but, I’m learning to deal with the pain of them. And two years later, yet more damaging pain, but now, again, all is calm as far as tragedy but it leaves you waiting for it to happen. Just waiting. How to be positive? Well, I count my blessings now. I have a husband who loves me and cares and a Son I adore as well as great friends and my close family. I can step out of that front door though some days are more difficult than others.

 

Gosh, said too much again. One thing I can tell you. Through these blogs I receive some amazing emails and messages in other ways. One Blogget I am so proud of right now I won’t say his name but he will know who he is. I offered him some advice and I never thought he would take any notice. Not only he did that but he did so much more. I hope he can maintain his wings. Keep flying my bird of India.

 

Right, said too much gone too far time to go and before I do, a funny thing I read today online. Here it is.

 

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.    

 

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