TEARS OF JOY

Tears of joy

Well my bloggets, I survived the night on my own, well with Dean the canary, “Irish of course?” Longchops and my little Black beauty. How did I get through the night with Hub in Romania and Teen in the Toon? (Newcastle) With the help  of two friends from Facebook. How I used to mock those who joined in with face book? Now I am one of those and I tell you, so many times you can go on and people will have pages of comments like they have been putting rubbish out… Or their milk has gone sour? But then you go on and find something that you never imagined would be possible? You can fall head over heels in love over the net or you can meet amazing people who  just simply connect. That was me last night/this morning, as our chat went on forever and a day. It was so mad, funny but brilliantly clever too and I think between the three of us, we wrote a children’s novel and a adults fun fantasy. No, not like that you naughty bloggets? We were just being very silly and allowed  

Ourselves to be free for a while! It was the most fun I have had in for everness.

 Hahahahaha See that word? Did it exist? Not before last night it didn’t!

My Husband wanted  me to go to church and with him being away and my Teen in his home town visiting old past times, I was a little apprehensive to say the least. Those who know me and those who don’t, yet, will know very little about me. I have always kept my feelings and fears to my writing, to myself. I have fears that I hope to God no one will ever even come close to. So bad it seriously effects my life. Could I make it to the church on my own? What if I was to get lost. I mean, your listening or reading   about a person who got lost in her back garden at one time, and my back garden was not the property of a Lord, but a mere forty foot garden…..I tell you that day, I felt every thorn from the roses and every dry bramble, neglected by me and my garden gnome. I tripped over rocks that I had forgot  I had and found an item of clothing which had fallen from the washing line on a day of industrial winds.

Found my door in the end though……..

I harnessed my guide dog and said a prayer to my angel/angels to guide me and remove the nerves I had. I know to a super blind person, this will be pathetic, but I am not you I am me and I am a coward and in a life’s sentence in which I do not  understand, but I am coming to terms with it.

I can promise you, I have a huge open mind as regards religion. It was as though a cape of bliss  was put over my shoulders. I know loads of you right now will be saying, “Oh, what a idiot? I would say that. But I can only tell you what I felt. I stepped out of the house, locked the door and calmly walked to church. My  guide dog did not want at first to go in the direction she was meant to, she wanted to go to the park, so to persuade her to turn right in between the two bits of grass, which part to allow access to the road, I had to be direct with her. Once she got across the road, she was great and said “Oh, thanks Mummy, I love this place, the children play with me!” We found the door and were welcomed by the lovely friendly people. I expected  to think about how I would get home all through the service, but no, I enjoyed the service. I felt relaxed and positive in a very melancholy manner.

A  good person stood up and spoke about Friendship oddly enough, , a word I have learned to love this weekend. A word which to me  is as important if not more than family. You can have family as your friends too and you can have family who you would rather not know? You don’t have friends who you don’t want, or they would not be friends, they would be pests.

We had time to reflect in prayer. I thanked my maker for getting me there and thanked the maker for getting my Son safely to his destination as well as my  Husband. For showing my Husband a night which you don’t get every day in life, dinner with the Romanian Prime Minister and a group of singing Russians and for giving me an outlook of positivity.

I took time to pray for my friend who has pain right now and a man in America who has just lost  his wife and is being kindly helped by my American parents right now, as he has no one. I did not ask, but quietly wished during thought that I could find friendship in my new town, to which I moved  to  just a few months ago.

 At the end of the service, a nice man Called William asked me if I wanted to stay for tea. He was my strength throughout the service, my comfort blanket, who sat with me.  I stayed behind and so glad I did. I had a wonderful time, to others it would be boring, so too simple. To me it was beautiful and a miracle did occur this Sunday morning!

My fun friend from church, Rich and his lovely daughter sat in front of me and spoke afterwards as well as a really nice lady called Nancy. We joked and laughed, they lifted me up, those who know me, don’t get too concerned, not literally lifted me up, but in spirit. I could not believe it, Nancy and Rich both exchanged mobile numbers with me. I was stunned. They said I could call if I needed them. One reason of many I don’t go out on my own, is because I would not know who to call  if I got lost, hahaha. I am sure I will never need to call them for this reason, but the rope is there to hang onto if I need them. How kind and how happy they made me feel and how normal as well, a feeling which does not come easy to me in this world  we live in. I felt like one of them. Oh I feel like I have achieved so much, an yet to you it could be so little, or, an achievement that you are sure you will never be able to achieve. I was you and to some extent, I always will be and this is why I write my blogs, to get to people like you, like me!

Thank you everyone so much and ask and you will receive. Just open your minds and allow the sunlight to warm your hearts. My hand in yours till next time we chat and remember, if you pass someone on the street, say hello, you will never know how you will change their lives?

x