Safe thank God

THANK GOD SAFE ARIVAL

Oh my head is bursting with pain of worry and my fingers are red with biting them, as I have no nails left. I wish I could relax and not worry, but I worry about everything and everyone I care about. I know  it will shorten my life I tell myself that I am being stupid, but it is an illness that I was born with. My first worry of boarding school when I was six, was  who will remind my Mum of her tablets. I  have a memory of being a baby of as I was told later on in life, one and a half, of my brother being hurt by a person of the same age as him. I remember it as though it was only fifteen years ago. This is  how I know I am a born worrier and unfortunately, my teen has inherited this condition. From a very young child, he cared and worried about me. It was awful to watch as I was helpless to what I was seeing in him. I tried to over compensate my fears by being as positive in life in front of him as I could, he never saw a me upset or  query anything. Those dark times were kept for  when I was on my own  late at night.

So my Husband started his journey at four this morning and now it is1.20pm and he still is not at his hotel in Romania, but at least I know he has arrived safely and is on his way to the hotel. 

I just sit here waiting for news of him worrying that he is ok? He is so very brave. To travel in constant darkness is to me an impossible task.

He will have an evening meeting tonight and meetings all day tomorrow and most of Sunday then Sunday evening home for four days, then away for most of the month. It is then when I will need you all out  there to keep me right?

I must share this with you. You know the other night when we got our Pizza’s? Well, it came out the next day, that both my Husband and I, had the oddest dreams? I saw colours of the seventies, hahaha, and my Husband said he dreamt like he has never done before. I said was your dreams all mixed up and just odd? He replied yes, dreams that were like you were hallucinating. It was as if we had taken some illegal substance? Like what you see in the movies from the sixties/ seventies?

What was in that Pizza?

Well I have longchops who is already missing her Daddy and keeps coming to me for reassurance that I am still here an I am not going to leave her. Bless her, she is such a  happy dog and her tail never stops, but  when her Dad is away, she wags it so slowly. Her tail is enormous! She is a cross German Shepard with a Retriever. Black with white strikes on her chest and a little on her paws with a long sweet funny face and gigantic eyes. Big floppy ears and so tall and long. She is a sweetie. My little black beauty, is a Labrador. Black. With large sad amber eyes. She is tiny and so very loving and calm, whereas longchops, is wild and would protect me till the end. She is my sation.

I am really struggling to find Christmas gifts this year, sadly I have to do my Christmas shopping on line and it is really hard, as the descriptions are for the sighted and are really hard to know what things look like. Imagine, shopping with your eyes closed? The stress is enormous.

Well must go now and try to do something? Still have not heard my Hub has arrived and now it is twenty five to two. Take care cause I care. x