Lunch time laugh

·         The Vicker noticed that the bride was in great distress so asked her what was wrong. She replied that she was nervous and afraid she would not remember what to do. He told her that she only needed to remember 3 things. First the aisle, because that is what you’ll be walking down. Secondly, the altar because that is where you will arrive. Finally, remember hymn because that is a type of song we will sing during the service. While the bride was walking to the wedding march, family and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her repeating these 3 words. . . Aisle, altar hymn, aisle, altar, hymn…

("Oops?")

 

·an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.” Bottom of Form

·         This married couple were travelling down the highway at a very rapid pace, when a patrolman put on the siren and pulled them over The officer said to the husband “Can I see your license and registration”. The husband says ” Why? I wasn’t doing anything wrong.”, The patrolman replies “Sir I caught you on radar at 110 km an hour and the speed limit is 80 in this zone, I’ll have to give you a ticket. ” Well the husband goes nuts saying that he wasn’t speeding and the patrolman should be out catching criminals instead harassing lawObeying citizen’s like my wife and myself, when his wife leaned over looked at the policeman and said

“Please excuse my husband, he always gets like this when he has had  a drink

("Another Oopsy")

A hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.

But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister, for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel. The clerk looked really concerned, “Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you’ve been wrestling an alligator!”
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak,

“Ohhh God! He told me he’d been saving up for 75 years, and I thought he meant his money!”

She answers
"Oh God, he told me he had been saving up for 75 years, I thought  he meant his money?"

How do you make holy water?

 ? Boil the hell out of it !

 

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who
lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils ?

Hahahahaha, sorry. There dreadful. But come on, you did turn that frown, upside down?

“Ohhh God! He told me he’d been saving up for 75 years, and I thought he meant his money!”

“Ohhh God! He told me he’d been saving up for 75 years, and I thought he meant his money!”