OCTOBER HORROR

October horror

After being at a so called sighted school for two years, it was my time to be sent away to boarding school.

I was six and knew nothing of the words boarding school. It was not explained to me where I was going or why, but now I know that way back in the mid-seventies, children with disabilities, were not welcome in comprehensive schools and had to go to so called “Special schools!”

A red suitcase was packed  with my clothes and my Mum told me nothing other than I was going to a new school. A Grammar school, like my big brother. I was proud, as in those days, my Brother was my hero and he was so intelligent, he went to a Grammar school and I was to go to one too?

My Nana  came to the house and she looked  as though she were going to a funeral. I wondered why she was at our house at night time. The house had a eerie feeling. The old coal fire roared in the living room and the cosy warmth of the home felt so nice, an yet there was something in the air I just was not sure about.

My Mum told my Dad it was time to go? “Go where?” I asked, as we never went out at night time. My Mum began to cry, left the room and my Dad had that awful voice on where he has a lump stuck in his throat. I knew that voice, as heard it when I went to Russia and Lourdes without him. My Dad could not find his car keys and my Mum told him putting off the inevitable was not going to do any good.

My brother tried to lighten the atmosphere, which was becoming so thick with pain.

Mum, Dad Brother and my nana, all went with me out into the chimney fragranced street. Into my Dads car and my red case was to follow in the hands of my neighbour, who came to say goodbye. She was even crying? Oh it was dreadful.

We drove for about half an hour and entered a huge  iron gate, trees formed fingers of fear under the moonlight

It was  a cobalt sky, so I found it hard to see. A huge Victorian building met us with no lights on at all. I learned later on in life, that the evil Head, told my Mum that it would be better to bring me at night when everyone was in bed? Why? I will never know. A door opened and a man stood with only tiny lights on in the background. He had silver glasses on and a face that you could not trust.  He had a smell about him too, like the smell of a Doctor, who is going to harm.

We followed him down the narrow corridor and down and up steps. Along the spooky landing, with dull lights on and paper thin carpets covering the creaky floorboards.

Whispers told my Mum to get me ready for bed, it was only then, that I knew that I was to stay at my Grammar school?

I could not understand it as my brother didn’t? There were no lights put on, we only had the landing lights and the moonlight, which threw a silver glow into the room,  via the fire escape window.

My Mum told me I would not be on my own, as there were lots of little girls in my dormitory. “Dormitory? What was a dormitory?” My Mum could not answer as she was sobbing. She kissed me as the Head told her to leave immediately. My brother cheerfully said goodbye and my Dad hugged me like he was to never see me again. “When would I see them again? I really did not know at that point and I was ready to cry, to scream to grab onto them and never let go. I desperately did not want to be at that place.

As echoes left me of my Mums tears and Dads voice trying to console her, I thought of my Nana, who was too upset to come into the school and my poor parents. What child wants to see their parents cry?

 It was freezing cold and all I had to keep me warm, was a starched sheet and scratchy blanket.

I could hear children snoring and breathing as well as the monster fingers of the old trees tapping on the windows.

“Where was I. What was to happen to me? When would I see my family again?