LIFE AFTER DEATH

A friend of mine of late has been discussing whether or not there is a God. Or life after death? All I can tell her in her grief after losing her Father, is we just do not know. No one knows for sure, but you cannot say there is nothing after death when you have not been there to find out. I believe in some funny religion that my close friends know about. I say I believe, though I do not know if my findings are true! All I know is that from a baby, I have sensed things that scared me as a child right up to my adult life. I could see a bit as a child and early years of adulthood. So before I lost my sight, I saw things in the same way as I do now and that is images on the inside of my lenses, so when I could see, I could be looking at someone,  but there could be a film over their face, like  a see threw picture? Sorry if this makes no sense, but I can only describe it like that. I never talked about it as a child but when I got older I started to not feel uncomfortable about it and for sure I am not ashamed of it as for me it is normal.

Now for those who have never met me, I do not live in a crooked, crumbling, cottage, in the depths of dark, damp woodland, I have a four bedroomed detached house that is 20 years old and quite modern. I do not have lank, long black hair popping through a pointy hat, and my dogs forbid me from owning a cat” The only large terrenes I own, are my soup pan and our slow cooker. So no potions going on there, though if you saw me making my soup last night, you would question that, as everything went in there.

I am a “With-it, wonder, without a wand!” Ok, I’m not so with it, and the only time I wonder, is when my guide dog gets us lost.

But I have seen faces of those who are going to die and those who are going to have babies. I knew about Princess Di, dying a week before she did and I knew about other famous people a couple of months before they left this earth and I see incidences. It was an aunt of mine who said many years ago, if you do not want this so called gift, say so, say allowed. Well, sorry like, but I thought to myself, I know I am a bit of a nutter, but I am not starting to talk to myself? Well, the next time the so called black moment occurred, I did…….Hahahahahahlololol, just before I almost broke my neck, running for a light.

Before my beloved Dad died when I was thirty, I started to see a fraction of his hair at nights when I lay my head on my pillow. He was ill with cancer, so you could say well I knew? Of course I did, but we were told for seven years he was dying with cancer and he had been in and out of hospital so many times knocking on deaths door. When I tried to block the visions out of my head, I started to see him through the day. I shut that away in one of my many boxes and that did not work either. When I refused to see his face, clothing that I had bought him the Christmas before, was showing to me. Oh it was awful. I worshipped my Dad. Then I started to see a car. I did not mind the car, as I wondered if the family were going to get a new one? Ok it was a black car? But it seamed to focus on only chrome. So much chrome on this car. I asked what cars had lots of chrome on and the answers coming back, were all cars that none of my family could afford.

My Dad passed away a week later and I could not bare to go to his funeral. I know that will shock people reading this, but you have to try and understand my circumstances?  I had not long had my new baby son, now the teased teen on my blogs, and a month before my Dad passed away, I woke to my idea of hell. Sight loss overnight. I also could never cry in front of my Mum. Another story. I also felt like I wanted to say goodbye to my Dad my way and I did that the day he was cremated. One of the things I did, was take a teddy bare to the funeral director to place on his coffin from my Son.

I could not believe the words that were getting said to me when I arrived at the funeral directors office?” They pointed. I asked what they were pointing at and they told me

“Oh, Fiona, there are seven cars here, I hope your Dad gets that one

  All the cars were plain black but there was one that had the shiniest chrome on. I asked to touch the car and I could not believe it. I just broke down. As the funeral director came out and told me that was going to be my Dads car and they would get it ready for him. Did I see the death of my Dad?

Some weeks went by. Life was num. The pain was unbearable and I visited my Mums house with despair. I just waited for my Dad coming through the door with his cheeky smile and funny whit. But he never did.

My Mum got a man in to clean her carpets; we had never met him before. He walked into the house as my Mum proclaimed, and he stopped still. Looked at my Mum and asked her was she ok? She replied yes, he then went onto tell her he sees spirit and Ray, is ok! “He knew my Dads name? Ok, he could have heard about us?” He then did the oddest thing, and that was to get my Mum to smell, yes smell, his shirt cuff. My Mum put her hand to her mouth as he went on to tell her

“Ray used soap to shave. Then told her the make of the soap he used. Well she burst out crying as he did use that soap and it was not a common soap. He then said that the only time he was sad where he was now,, was when her, and his daughter, cried. He told my Mum to prove he was alright there would be a missing ring. My Mum said no, she never took her ring off and my Dad did not have one. He said it was not her, ring, and it would become clear.

We forgot all about this and some weeks went by, about two, and I took off my wedding ring one night as my fingers were itchy from nettles in the garden that day. I went to put on my ring the next day and it was missing.  My husband and I looked everywhere for it, my friend came a few days later and she had a look, this was after we had the bed upside down and drawers lifted. She too could not find it.

About five weeks later, I was awoken by my baby. I knew it was time to get up, as he was my alarm. I shouted to him that Mummy was coming and remembered the date. November the 11^th. My Dads birthday. Tears in my eyes I picked up the phone to call my Mum, to see if she was ok on this day? Just as I was talking to her, I put my hand on my drawers, why? Not sure, but right on top of my wedding ring. I told my Mum of my findings and she was delighted like me that I had found it, though it will always remain a mystery how it got there.