THE SHOPPING LIST

I am truly fed up of not being able to go to sleep more than one hour? I went to bed, slept for under an hour, then tossed and turned for another hour and in the end, had to get up. I was so stressed, knowing my Hub has to get up in a few hours for his trip to his office and I was keeping him awake. He doesn’t say anything and I know he would rather me stay in bed then come downstairs, but I feel so guilty, at least with me being out of the way, he will sleep.

The heat again, is unbearable. It’s a dry heat. My asthma is killing me. I am so tired though. My friend says I should get some sleeping tablets, and she is right I bet, but, I am paranoid, that I will fall asleep and the blooming house will catch fire or burglar  Bill will try to get in and I won’t hear him, to show him my Karate chop?

Funny thing though, and it’s only been since I have started to write this tonight/this morning! I have at last stopped thinking about my past when I go to bed. This is a miracle and I don’t know how I have just thought about it now, but I can’t remember the last time, I thought about my history? How come for the years I have been on this earth that I am aware of, I every night have the same fears and thoughts, then after years, just stop and not even acknowledge it, until now? Must have been at least a week, since I had those dark feelings?

I wonder why and how I have stopped.

What have my nights been replaced with? Now. That is what. What is going on in my life now.

There has been so much going on in my personal life, yes Bloggets, I do have one, though you share most of it, there is some left unwritten.

So I guess this is the first time in my life, I have not dwelled on the past. This is good.

I envy people who go to bed, and can sleep. I have never known this. As I said, if I do sleep I wake and that is me awake for the majority of the night.

People say it  becomes a habit, this not sleeping lark? Perhaps it is? But the fact is, I do try to retrain myself and I do stay in bed for up to an hour then I have such pains in my chest with stress, I have to get up.

Also I love to write. I’m a write aholic.

I really do itch to write.

So, my boy did another shift at his work place, oh wait till you hear this one?

Really?

He gets a huge 15% discount off on what he buys in the shop. I said that was great and handing him my card, I give him a list, which included 2 loafs, 2 large bottles of milk, 1 large stuffed crust pizza and 3 bags of chicken fillets.

As he handed everything over, I thanked him, asked him how much everything came to?

He told me the price without discount?

I asked

“What about the discount?

His answer was

“Oh, sorry, didn’t get one. The lad forgot to give us one.

Oh I was so annoyed? Really, how stupid can you be?

I guess I am being awful, as my Teen pointed out to me, swearing and telling me that I was lucky, he got me my groceries?

He didn’t forget to get his blooming tub of ice cream though?

Anyway, he is in early today for four hours and then off to see Bunches, then a sad goodbye as she heads for Italy for ten days. God help us? I don’t blame him, I know what I am like when Hub is away. I just hope to God, he will be kept busy with work and his friends?

He will miss her so much.

I guess I should try to sleep again? Just wish it would cool off?

In London, it was 21dgs through the night. It was the worst winter and spring I have ever known and now the best summer for heat I have ever known, normally in the UK, if we get three days in a run of hot weather, that is our summer? We have had ten days plus?

Where ever you are in the world, sleep well tonight? x