NOT GOOD ENOUGH

Here I sit outside, the sun is really hot, an yet there is relief coming from the warm wind and some cool rain drops are falling, but one every half a minute? My Wagga lays by my feet and I am here chilling after stupidly flying off the handle with my teen.

So Hub went to the capital today and teen went to work. I knew he would be tired, as he was talking to his girl Bunches till after one this morning after doing a very long shift at work. Of course he wanted to talk to her, he misses and loves her, but I knew he had less than five hours sleep and needed to work today, so I asked him to come off the phone? Of course again, not a popular Mum,  but I was right, as he only managed three hours, before he came home.

Well, I let him relax for a few hours, and then asked if he would help me to construct our garden heater?

I always have good intentions when doing something with Teen, but it always ends in disaster.

Well, let me just say, he has stormed in the house, my heater is half made and there are plastic bags all over the garden as well as the instructions and tools out of the garage. Now I am going to have to try to find them all.

Why? Because I as I said, flew off the handle. Why?

I’m really hurt. Deep to the heart and stomach. You know when I first met Bunches; I was so pleased to have a sweet little girl in the family. I wanted to love her as my daughter and welcome her. Teen made this impossible as every time he visits her, he comes back a child from hell. He swears at me and puts me down just like his father did. Telling me how useless I am hopeless and more. This week Bunches has been on holiday, he has been perfect. Until today.

I found out, that when teen went to the races, it was a big family day.

There was Daddy Bun, his girlfriend, Mummy Bun her boyfriend, Sister Bun her boyfriend Teen and Bunches as well as Sister Buns Dad.

All parents but us. The two who cannot be seen or spoken to, be seen out with and treat to be honest like freaks.

I’m absolutely hurt. I wouldn’t’ care, if we had been asked, we would have said no. But to find out, we were deliberately not asked, well. That is me through

It’s a dreadful thing when we are made out to be so unwelcome. I just wish kids today had a little more heart, but I guess how can they, when the adults around them haven’t. I really am finished.

I do believe what goes around comes around though.

I’ve decided what colour I am having for our sitting room. Cream, gold and light red. Yep, it had to be in there somewhere?

Later gators. x