WHERE HAD I GONE?

Something was different about today. I woke up and you know when you have been in a sleep where you wanted to go so badly, a sleep where you need to find to disappear from reality?

I went there; I fell so deeply after listing to music in my earphones from a device my Husband bought me for Christmas.

Anyway, today was so different. I rubbed my eyes, and took a shower, cleaned my teeth and brushed my hair. I couldn’t find anything first off. It was just simply weird.

I went down stairs and went into the kitchen to put on the kettle. Whilst boiling, I was to let the dogs out, but they too were in a deep sleep so just left them.

I opened the door to the conservatory to take some bright air as I felt really odd.

My table was not the same, nothing was the same. Oh this was odd. But then I felt it, I really did.

“Hello Darling, come and sit down next to me.”

It was a voice I recognised, but a voice which was talking through a long tube, which had echoes.

A hand was held out to me. A hand I started feeling again, a hand I thought I had forgotten.

But it was cold, so cold.

I sat down as had no way of being in control

Then another voice.

“Your toast is in front of you our Fiona.

I smelt the musky smoke. I felt the love. I knew who it was, I realised where I was.

Oh God, this morning was too weird.

 It was my parents.

 Another chance. I could say what I wanted to say before they died. I knew it was all a nasty evil conspiracy. They weren’t dead; they didn’t leave me all those years ago. I knew it I just knew it.

I wanted to talk. I wanted to tell them I love them and wanted to go shopping with them and buy all the years of gifts that they missed out on. Oh this was going to be so good, so exciting and yet I felt so cross as what a waste of fifteen years?

My Dad kept a hold of my hand as he used to do at the table, when he used to annoy me as I could not use two hands to eat my meal with but he loved me and that was his way of showing his love. My Mam fed me, me that was her, way and I felt like I was that little girl again.

I needed to hear their words, I knew they were talking to me but couldn’t translate what was going on. It was a foggy glass between us. I wanted to break the glass but knew if I moved, they would disappear. I was frozen.

Numb.

Mute.

Paralysed.

Dreaming.