STUPID ME

Good morning Bloggets. Last night my friend asked me to go with her to meet with an X factor finalist, who I really really like. It was after ten at night and though so much I would have loved to, my stupid dulls self, couldn’t do it.

My Husband was not at all impressed with my ability to be so shallow in life and lacking in confidence. I’m not him, or anyone else. I know how useless I am when it comes to the outside world, I didn’t need that.

I so much wanted to go. My Husband wanted me to do it as he knew how badly I wanted to meet with him; also he wanted me to keep

 

my friend company in the car as she does a lot for us and it would be my way of paying her back a little. I just could not bring myself to cross that barrier. People laugh when I say I am shy, it’s so true not only am I shy but lack in the ability to meet and greet.

Around people I am very friendly, some say the bell of the ball as I am chirpy but really to get to that stage, takes so much for me. I never used to be like that. When I could see, and before I had the stuffing knocked out of me, I was out there like everyone else. Now I can’t see, I can’t look at them, why would they want to look at me?

It’s pitiful I don’t want it to come across as that just doesn’t know how to explain it in another way.

I step out of my house and I start to shake. No matter where I go. You have to remember, for thirteen years I stayed in the house. Then had to take my Son to Nursery school and if only you knew how hard that was?

I just hate myself so much as far as I am concerned no matter how nice people are about me, I just think they are being nice/kind and don’t believe them.

I think this is why I write so much about people giving a thought to those who don’t/can’t get out of the house, because that was me.

In some cases, that still is me.

It’s for sure an illness.

But my friend said next time this young lad comes, we will go to see him and if I have enough warning and I know in these situations it’s not always possible to do that, but I hope and pray that I will be able to pick myself up and go with her. I so much wanted to do it but failed.

Thank God my Canary, Irish you know? Is back to normal. He is singing his sweet song.

Gosh, we thought he was on his last legs bless him, as he didn’t sing for days and looked to my Son really weak.

But thanks to my Aunt who brought him a great gift full of his treats and vitamin blocks, and Teen giving him fresh water, he seams to be fine.

He for sure is making a real mess kicking his seeds out of the cage.

A lot of housework is required in our house as with being Christmas, I just have not bothered other than the basics.

Hub in the bath so I shall go and let the dogs out, then make his breakfast. I shall talk later my Bloggets and today you take care and I hope that if you have someone in your life who asks you and wants to spend time with you, that person won’t give up on you as I will never give up on you for sure. Xxx