SCREAM BY FIONA CUMMINGS

SCREAM

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 I shall take my tired legs

 Up the stairs

And before bed

I shall have a shower

Use the gel which smells like a flower

Step out close the door

Hear the dripping on the floor

Take my towel

Wrap it around me like a shawl

Then from the warmth of dryness

I will take the toothbrush

Just by habit still

Look in the mirror

And rather than sounds staring back at me

I will not be able to breathe

As somehow

I can see

Who is that looking back at me?

She looks like a lady

Oh this is crazy

All in my mind

Stop kidding myself

For I am blind

Yes, I have mirrors

But they are for others

Who are those eyes

My fingers move

 Same time as my brain tells them too

Am I shocked or surprised

Is it a dream?

Shall I scream?

No, I don’t want to spoil this moment

I feel sick

So scared and alone

Who shall I phone?

What will I say?

What if my sight goes away?

No, I can’t see

I’m being so silly

It’s all an illusion

Just put it to tiredness and confusion

Things like this don’t happen to me

I will never again see

Who is teasing me

Who would be so cruel

Making me out to be a fool?

I’m almost filled with terror

As two blue eyes like mine but older

Are peering over my shoulder

No stop, they are my shoulders

God, I look so much older

It can’t be me

I can’t see

Wow, do my eyes really look that blue

Could this be true?

It’s been fifteen years

And millions of tears

Since I last saw

When I opened the door

To another world

A harder world

Filled with sadness

Drove me to madness

Deep dark depression

Damaged emotions

Lost all devotions

Said goodbye to my baby

Who now is a young man

He will have huge hands

And a different face

Where is this place?

Is it reality?

Testing my disability?

Oh my God

This is so hard

Something I have prayed for

So long

Begging my maker to keep me strong

So I could carry on

For my Son

Now my Husband

This is a strange land

Look at my mouth

Who stole my youth

Those lines don’t belong to me

I don’t want to look around the room

As what will I see?

My husband is laying in bed

How can I tell him

What words will be said?

I have my sight

No more do we need to fight

And look at him lying there

With now peppered hair

Still in a world of sightlessness

But I will see

And the world we will go

No more troubled waters will flow

I shall see snow

And have so much fun

Under different colours of sun

My Husband can be at peace now

No more tell tail signs upon his brow

We won’t age years every few days

Hard times are in our past

This must last?

Please? Down on my knees

I start to frees

Droplets of water

Slowly slaughter

This beast I call reality

I shall see our dog’s faces for the first time

Smell the blooms through my eyes

Taste the food

By looking what is good

Run free

No chains tied to me

Walk out of my prison

And see the world

I won’t need gold

For my fortune will be

In what I can see

Living will be so much better

I will be able to open a letter

And read who it’s for

See who is standing at my door

Know what is in my parcel

Enjoy the glitter from the Christmas sparkle

Do silly things like match up socks

Clime rocks

Look out of the window

See the colour yellow

Changing seasons

 Oh no more tears will be bleeding

For now a new life

I shall do for others

What I need for myself

Light up their world

Not stand back and watch them fold

It will be alright now

I shall show them how

But who gave me this gift

Who put me in this lift?

And who pushed the button

Sending me to my slumber

A bolt like thunder

I awoke

No one spoke

Same old Television

A blank screen

No vision

Rubbing my head

Pushing away my dream

I did not go to bed

It was a dream

Now I for sure

Will

Scream