OK A BROKEN PROMISE?

I did half an hour of fast walking on my treadmill yesterday. My lovely friend, Pauline, said I  did well as she would not last  five minutes, but, she did not know, that I just walked quickly. Believe me, if I had ran, the environmental squad would have paid a visit, as there would have been some cracks appeared in the roads nearby?

Hub sat and talked to me whilst I did my walk, so that was great, I did not mind the boredom so much at first, but then it really kicked in and I could not bare anymore?

Hub goes or is going mad with me, because I will not stop eating food with taste, oh, no sorry, crisps and chocolate, food that is bad for me. I have realized, I just can’t. I really really struggle with that so I want to try to get fit and eat better, as well as my nice food/junk.

I have been eating a lot of rice of late, ha. With butter?

Oopsy?

I know, I, know?

Is there any hope for me? I really hope so. I don’t want to die at my young age?????

“Stop it?

I am young?

Well, in my mind, I am still 32, and that is young to me. I would not want to be younger.

So, will I go on the mill today? I really really hope so.

I will be abolished to the conservatory later when Bunches comes and that is where it is.

It snowed last night and today it is so cold. Hub said the capital, is incredibly cold and snowing there too.

Our bright lovely red bench outside, well, the only thing that is sitting on it at the moment, is the blooming neighbor’s cat?  LC and BB tried to scare it off yesterday, by barking at it, at almost midnight, scaring me silly, thinking we must be  getting broken into, as BB, never barks? Not in the house.

Hub bravely went out and heard the Mee ow, from the cat, who had made itself too comfy.

I mean, can you imagine, if one day, I go out with my lap top and cup of coffee, to have a seat in the sun? and sit on whatever the cat has decided to leave as a gift? A mouse or a bird?

OMG?

Teens exams are turning into a nightmare. I will be amazed, if he gets through them, but I am not giving up. Hub wants me to, as he can see the stress I am going through. I tell you, it is killing me, the absolute lack of knowledge of what is going on at school? Even the teachers don’t seem to know? For sure Teen doesn’t?

All I know is, he is 20 % complete on one subject, that he is meant to be finished by the end of the month? He has not done any work at all on his guitar/music, and that is due tomorrow? He has done 31 pages of 70 of another paper he is doing off his own back, nothing to do with school really, as they are not teaching it? How  does he know if he is doing the work right? There is no one to ask?

His English that he was brilliant at, he is failing big time and his math’s he is just about doing.

As I said last week, he is finished some tests, half way through others, he has done some exams, but can take them again, others he has took once, but can’t take again? I am so confused.

My friend told me to start to breathe… I guess that always helps?

I am sure she meant to try to relax? To be calm. Why do I worry about his future so much? I guess we all want the  best for our kids, also, I really don’t want him being a drop out like I was?

I took my education much later on in life, but I was lucky, or not, I had my X who paid for our house so it was not imperative that I was to work. Though so much I wish I had the background and confidence to step out and mix with the outside world.

A combination with my past and my X, as well as circumstances, prevented me, from the life I wish for, for my Son.

Sadly, a lot of ways, he is copying me. Following the same pathway.

How to get him to take a different direction? This is the question I really fail to answer.

I spoke to my friend in Russia yesterday, she told me she was with her Sons baby, her Grand Son. Her Son is the lovely person who gave me away, at the wedding of me and Hub some years ago.

Well, my friend is helping out with the baby, in Czechoslovakia. The Nanny is there too. The Nanny, has two young children  back in Moscow. For months, she will not see them. So she is not being with her kids, to be with another?

Hmm? Very very odd?

But it was good to know my friend is there as it will be better for her there rather than Moscow. It is too cold there for her and she would work harder, in Moscow, than what she will in    the country she is in right now.

Right, I am rambling again. Sorry and I made you that promise too?

Next blog, ramble free, I promise, though if I can’t ramble, and I have to have a structured blog, it may be a while before I can chat? Ha. X