HORSE TO WATER

It’s after midnight and I cannot sleep. I tried, but this time of night, I come alive. To sleep, I  need to be totally relaxed, stress free and happy.

 So I may do the boring  weekly shopping

now?

 My coffee cup friend and her  really lovely boyfriend came around last night, to bring my garlic press that I bought at my posh chefs party a few weeks ago. So garlic in fridge ready, now my garlic press, no  vampires will darken my door for the next week.

I saw teen last night for about fifteen minutes, whilst he ate his dinner. Then he went to his room did his weights, a small amount of study an spoke to Bunches on the phone, for two hours, then did some more study for about fifteen minutes.

I was furious with him that he spent two hours on the phone when that time was to be studying. My stress over his exams, is unbearable.

Everyone wants to give up on him but I really can’t. I see what he is, an incredibly intelligent boy. My Hubs daughters, have had the best education since pre nursery school and teens girl, has had the best education money can buy, and he is more intelligent than all of them put together, but pen to paper? He has not got the stamina. What he writes, is in his teachers words, “Streight from the mind of a Professor.” But for an exam? Too short, not enough writing as he hates writing so much and he more so dislikes reading. What do I do? He was predicted top marks and he will be lucky if he gets three C’s.

He goes in his room to study, five minutes later, he goes to the toilet, looks in the mirror for half an hour, well, ten minutes, then after fifteen minutes, he comes downstairs, to make a cup of tea. Then  continues with his study for twenty minutes, then takes a bath or shower, then studies for another ten minutes, then talks to his girl for a couple of hours, then he can be heard yawning. Comes down to say goodnight and to bed he goes.

I am at my whit’s end with him. I really should quit. It’s over to him now, whatever I am doing, is not working.

It is so frustrating. I can’t make him want to study, enjoy his work. I have talked to him until I am blue in the face. Explaining how at somewhere like Costa coffee, a few weeks ago, there were 1700 people applied for eight jobs. Those eight people, had to stand out to get that far.

He has his good looks,  but good looks, doesn’t make good coffee.

Three months left before he is finished school. But in his words, he is not going to let his studies get in the way of his life? Oh, if only he realised, his education is such a huge part in  his life?

Our friend has just had her baby. Anyone out there who is newly a parent, enjoy, as it really really does get harder. I remember those days and nights when I first brought my baby home. It was so very hard, tiring too. I have never felt so drained. Days when I couldn’t even seem to get dressed as my life was upside down, with the new addition, in my life. Believe me, these teen days are much harder.

So tonight, he is getting in from school and studying for some hours? No, sorry, that is another child. He is getting himself ready for a fashion show with Bunches and her Mother.

Some people will say I should not let him go? Well I could do that, but then he will just go mad and life would be too much and he still would not study. I cannot make him work. As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but not make  it drink.

Wow, the  streets outside are so quiet. My twelve paws are  all sleeping as is my Canary, Irish. Hub is a sleep as is teen. My house is peaceful. Sitting in this chair, I could sleep. Sitting up. Because I am calm, as there are no distractions, comfortable as this armchair, is more comfortable, than my awful expensive bed pillows, and my mind is happy, because I am writing.

In another world when I write words. It is an escapism. I walk through the door and not only am I someone else, I  can be anyone I want to be, but it is as far from my life as you can get, even though I write about my life? I know that really does not make sense.

When I analyse my life, now, it is so boring. What do I do? When I put pen to paper if you like, it looks like I have done more? In words, yesterday as it is after the pumpkin hour, I went to the coffee shop and pet shop. On paper, if you read yesterday’s blog, I experienced a lot more, just by sounds feelings and more.

When I write my silly blogs, that is the me I want to be.

My Hubs life and mine are so very different. He was in the capital the other day, he was visiting the history museum with colleagues, then having lunch of olives, salmon and a very posh salad. A large glass of freshly  squeezed orange juice whilst having a meeting  with the head of publishing in the UK. Then a meeting in his office, with the director of his company.

I was at home, eating a bag of crisps and thinking about what I could make for tea?

How can this be?

Hub always says, he would love to be in my head for a day. Hmm. I tell him he would really dislike it. My mind is not a place where the sane want to be.

Parts of my brain fight each other too. They spark off against each other. I can have such diversity in my thoughts. Whereas Hub can think about one thing, and focus.

Getting really sleepy now. Must go before I write something I will get into trouble for? Ha.

Where ever you are in the world right now, as you are reading this. I wish you  a wonderful sleep when it is your bedtime. With pleasant thoughts before bed.

x