MY 24 HOURS MY LIFE

Good morning my dear Blogget family. It is so good to see you all there this morning on our page. I love seeing new countries, and days or sometimes weeks later, see those countries come back is great, but, the UK, US an Germany, are there every single day and it really does feel like a family. Kazakhstan, Indonesia and Malaysia  have been here today and this week, we have had, Canada, Bulgaria, Philippines and Sweden too!

Right, I went to bed last night or should I say this morning, at about one. Words with the teen again, it is getting so hard to be in the same room as him. Since he met with his girlfriend, he has become so cold, so distant too and this is really not like my boy, he is a caring soul. But lately, another young man, has taken over his body and mind.

I can’t say anything right. Every  time I open my mouth to talk, he shuts me down. If I react, he storms out up to his room. It’s awful. It is as though he hates me. This really breaks my heart as we were so close.

Oh well, my friends tell me they have all gone through it so I guess it is part of growing up?

He informed me last night, he was going to a music festival in the summer. Right. So no hair dryer, no clean showers, no mirrors? He won’t cope? Oh I dread those places? But really, how can I stop him? I guess I could, but right now? I will be glad to get rid of him for a couple of nights, though I will be in agony with worry.

Of course Bunches will be going if they  are still together?

He has his life around her, he is talking about moving in with her in two years’ time.

I was seventeen when I married, my brother was eighteen and my Mum, was nineteen. Were any of us happy? I for sure was not, my brother’s wife was known as a “Mattress back,” for the village where they lived and when she  got through that lot, she moved area to a big  town and started spreading her love about there?

They are still together though. My parents? Were they happy? No. Absolutely not. Dad worked for life, Mum worried and was ill for her, life. They argued like cat and dog.

Well Mum argued,  Dad was very submissive. He never shouted, I never heard him shout not ever. My Mum, could break glass with her voice. I guess I take after my Dad, well, I do shout, so that is not quite true, but I am always getting to bother from Hub, for not going off it with Teen. I just can’t see the point? What good will shouting do? I stay calm and try to talk to him. OK, it does not work, but neither would shouting.

I just wish I could hibernate for the next few years, but then reclaim my life?

Get over all the horrible bit of parenting.

I kind of feel sorry for Hubs x, well kind of, she has two dreadful teens. I can’t imagine her life, I think she has just totally given up on them and lets them do whatever, including letting the fourteen year old sleep with her boyfriend in the house? Oh I just think that is so wrong. As for the thirteen year old? She dies her  hair. Shame as her  hair was so thick and strong. She had lovely hair. The older daughter has the looks and the younger has the brains, but they both have their life as they should have been in years to come. Don’t they realise, they have forever to be adults? Why can’t our kids be children anymore? I would say it is because they have to look after themselves now days, as the parents are all out working? But teen never had that, though he did see a lot when he was with me and the x.

He did have a lot of growing up to do, he was one when I lost my Mum, Dad, and sight, he saw his Mother crumble, though I really worked hard, for him not to see how I was feeling? I think he saw through me. When I was going through hell with  my X Husband, teen used to be the adult, even now, he will put his arm around me if he thinks I am upset, not like a sixteen year old, like a husband would to his wife.

He himself, got me through my divorce, helping out so much to control my X’s temper and actions.

He shouldn’t have had to do any of that. Shows my week nature I guess?

I do owe him a lot, but he must realise, he has had all I could give him. I gave him my life, literally. When I had the dark six months, when my parents and sight died, I would for sure have ended it all. If not for my Son.

I would never leave him like my natural so called Mother, did me.

My wonderful adopted parents are long gone, my natural so called mother, still lives. There is no justice.

OK, as Hub would say, I’m rambling. So I will continue telling you about my night/morning, when I went to bed.

I was so cold, took a cup of tea to bed. Got under the duvet after a very quick hot shower and sipped on my drink, as I held on for life, to  my new kindle.

Daring myself, to push the button my Hub showed me.

Really, I didn’t know what to expect, I guess anything, but hearing words?

As I pushed the space bar, I anxiously waited to hear the synthetic sounds of the smooth style, of the robotic ladies voice.

Well, I waited, and waited.

Then I pushed another button, the one on the bottom, the one that says screen saver. Then nothing happened again.

Last chance, I pushed the space bar again.

I jumped out of my skin, and believe me, there is a lot of that?

Suddenly, a voice began to talk.

God, my heart? Of course, that is what should have happened, but I didn’t expect me to be  able to use it?

I held onto it, in disbelief.

“Did I really do that?”

Then I finished my drink, my hand holding cup, just popping out of the duvet, just enough to get my cup to my mouth, as my knuckles were numb with the nights chill. As I had not long let the dogs out, to pollute, it had started to snow again.

I lay back, and enjoyed my story. After just fifteen minutes, I began to realise, I was only taking in every few words, so I decided to sleep, but I had to turn the kindle off first?

Gosh, I did it? Or did I? Well, the voice stopped.

So this morning, I did an hours work, then decided to try to play it again. Partly to see, if I had not broken it, and partly, because it is a good story. I will tell you all about it, when I  have finished reading it. I find it funny, saying I am reading?

I have not read anything, since I lost my sight fifteen years ago. I don’t really regard listening to a book, reading, though that is what everyone says,  everyone calls it?

It’s not reading though, is it?

It can’t be.

Oh but I am really enjoying it. I will tell you the reasons in the week.

For now I will bid you a happy day, Hub back tonight late. Teen out with Bunches. Oh, that is something else I must remember to tell you, the latest thing between them both. Hmm! x