ALL AROUND ME

Here I sit in our conservatory. To my right is the very busy road, hiding its view behind a large seven foot wall, but the sounds of the constant traffic  cannot be disguised. I just wonder where everyone is going. Surely they should be at work or taking lunch or anything but causing pollution at the bottom of our garden?

Behind me are the sparrows who have decided to nest in our conservatory roof. In front of me are my garden chimes and my ornamental birds that tweet as the geese fly overhead or a cat may decide to risk its life, with our three dogs, coming to see what is in our garden, a nest, perhaps?

To my left, are the sounds of my Husbands work phone from his office? It has never stopped all day. I wish I had a pound, for every time it has rang? Well, OK, £10.

I can hear my mobile texting me from its place of charge upstairs and my dog’s tip a tapping along the living room wood floor, as the little Waggatail tries to tempt LC, into playing a game of who can bite the hardest?

I am relaxing on the lovely sofa. I had the worst sleep last night. I went to bed before the pumpkin hour I lay a wake for two hours. Then the heart started to pound and my thoughts went elsewhere. I was so tired, an yet could not sleep.

I came down stairs and sat writing for an hour until my eyes were closed.

Quickly, I tried to go to bed before the tiredness wore off?

I got some sleep for about one hour, and then came downstairs again. I was exhausted. I had a busy day yesterday, I Hoovered as I do every day at least once, and I dusted and washed doors down. I did three loads of washing and emptied and refilled the dish washer. Groomed the dogs outside and washed down their garden of mass destruction.

I washed the kitchen floor on my hands and knees and washed the two out of three bathrooms.

I took letters up to hub that had arrived whilst he had been away, cups of tea and made his food as I did teens too.

Then I met with the lovely lady I told you about and I am seeing her again in a couple of weeks’ time.

I just am exhausted when Hub gets back as the stress of him being away, is awful. I can’t relax, until he is back. Now, normally, when he walks through the door, I feel as though I am being lifted. All the stress is taken from me, but for some reason this time, I have not been allowed to experience that pleasure.

Oh to relax and feel the sun to bath in wonderful waters and just have a stress free life, must be amazing, but  the sad thing is, I bet those of you who have that life, don’t realise how lucky you are and appreciate life?

My body aches with stress. A lot of it is put down to the awful bug or flu Hub and I had over the Easter. I also think it is just life, and the fact that I have been on tablets for fifteen years and I have decided to come off them.

Perhaps I am coming off them too quickly, the doctor told me to do one every other day for two months?

Well as always, I have not done as I was told and take one every three days now. Started every other day now three days.

I feel like someone has a tight grip on my arms and is holding me close to them, whilst they kick me and get their mate, to punch me?

My Mum used to use the expression, “I feel like I have been whipped.

I know now how she feels.

Right now, I would love to take a bath and not have a care. But teen just text me an hour ago, asking if Bunches can come for tea, so bye bye to that thought?

Suddenly it has gone sunny, for the first time today and it is raining.

OK, that makes sense? Not?

Did you read the poem about the artist? How lovely that life would be?

To eat freshly grown produce, take a gentle strolled to the bakers each morning and buy you’re freshly made bread, then go to buy some local cheese and a bottle of wine from the local vineyard?

To be somewhere like France and hear the sounds of the southern countryside.

The warm sun and the chickens in the next doors garden provide you with fresh eggs each day?

What a life?

But for now, my lovely conservatory and my bag of crisps will do! x