WILL U WATCH TELLY WITH ME?

Good evening, Hub and I watching the television, oh God, really it is about the mafia in America, its frightening? I just don’t get crime, I really hate it. Oh I am having a nightmare with teens school work. Really tell me please, as I pull out my long locks, why can I not just not be bothered? Why am I getting so stressed and involved? It is his life, not mine. His future. God, I just so badly want to be not bothered any more. I cannot talk to him, I can’t get through to him that he is throwing away his career. Why can me not except that he is a drop out a failure. It is because of three reasons, one, I can see such a brain that is dying and two, he is doing a me, a drop out, three, because as a parent, you want the best for your kids, don’t you? For a clever person, he can’t see, six weeks and he will say goodbye to school. Six weeks of hard work. The teachers are really pushing him, it is killing them too, and they see a wasted opportunity. Oh I think I will seriously, have a heart attack before the middle of summer. I am not joking, Even Hub is demented. It really is affecting the family.

OK, we have gone from Mafia, to Master Chef. OMG? Squid? Yack? Oh God, that is gross?

They are making homemade ravioli. Oh it sounds lovely, but so hard? I mean individual ravioli? How long will that take? They are so passionate about what they are making. God, no wonder in these posh places, you only get a postage stamp of food? I mean, homemade parcels of ravioli? Oh there is a lady, who says she is accident prone? Hahahahaha. She is armed with a cleaver and she is about to hack off a poor pigs leg? Don’t worry my vegetarian friends, it is well dead…

Oh now they are making a coffee cream dessert, with nuts and purple flowers. It is served in half a coconut. Oh my word, I need that  dessert?

Thank God for our audio description? So much is not spoken on here and the audio lady is telling us what the sighted see. The only trouble is the lady who is doing the audio, sounds like she needs to be on fast forward? She sounds like she is flying high on a magic mushroom? Hahahahaha.

Oo he is about to add caramel to the dessert. Yum. Herbs too are added with tweezers, as it has to be so delicate. God, this is better than opening a box of frozen food? Ha.

OK, going now to watch the result. Loved watching the television with you tonight. I guess watching telly to us, is like watching the radio to you? If you can see that is.

Hugs to you all and join me tomorrow with more Fi Blogget world and beyond. xx  

     

A WONDERFUL DAY

A yellow day.

A miracle has occurred. I just sat, on my laptop and it survived. OMG? God that was a close one? Seriously, my but, covered not only the keyboard, but the screen? I tell you, I still have a lot of strength in my legs as they supported my  weight as I kind of hung in mid-air and thought/contemplated on whether or not to move quickly, not really an easy option, tilt to one side and only  break half of my laptop? Which side to lean towards?  Say bye bye to my wonderful world outside through my laptop, cry, or use my legs and get up without putting any weight on anywhere  My legs. It was that one I chose.  Oh you know when you get that sinking feeling? All hot? I had it. My lap top is fine thank   God.

I have had the most bazaar day? Really not like me? It shows I have a lot on my mind. Oh it really has been odd.

I sat and waited for Paula to come, she was due at half ten, she is the lady who our blind society have matched up with me… The one who is similar to me? They say? Well half ten went by, eleven and then after mid-day, it dawned on me, I had the day wrong, she is due tomorrow. Today is my day in the town with my friend Liz. She was due at half twelve, though in my diary, I have her coming at two this afternoon?

So a mad rush to get everything for the town and she came on her bike. We garaged the bike up, as funny enough; she didn’t offer to take me to town on the back of there!

I really don’t know why not? OK, we may have got some funny looks, as we did wheelies down the high street, but it would have been a laugh? For whom? Answer, the public!

So we had a chat and went off for our bus. My new pass arrived yesterday, well done our council for getting it to us so quickly? Amazing. So, we went into the soap shop to buy a beautiful cup cake for my friend’s birthday, really, the soaps there are adorable. The cake has the paper on but the paper is made from soap, there are flowers embossed on the top of the bun and a little candle on the top of the makeshift icing. All soap, and the shop is a French theme.  There are little Eiffel Towers on each soap table. The cakes are on tall cake stands. There are beautiful chandeliers and wonderful music, all French. There are Chrystal soap dishes and old fashioned sinks with bath salts in. It is a huge shop and I just love it. I would love to work there, ha. Oh the smell? I got my friend a violet soap. They are rather deer the soaps, £5 plus but worth it.

I had a long chat with the owner, he is a lovely person, I have spoken to him before and he is a real character. Let’s say, he is in touch with his feminine side, and I love people like that, as they are so much fun. I always wanted a gay best friend, so my best friend if you are reading this????? Ha. My best friend is in touch with his feminine side, that is why we get on so well, as I can talk to him about decorating, perfume, clothes, music, building, weight lifting and parenting as well as make up and pretty coloured earrings, but he has a darling of a wife, and he is soooooooooooo not gay, Hahahahahahah. Oh God he will kill me for writing this? His wife will chuckle though..

Anyway I digress again. We got out of there, Liz and I laughed all the way around the town. The sun was so warm and we just simply gelled, as we talked about life. We went to buy my friend a gift voucher for her favourite shop and her Husband who also has a birthday, two tops. I bought my Hub some gifts too, will tell you later.  Went back to our bus and finished off with a coffee at home and more chatting. She is great I really like her.

Gosh, if only people knew how very difficult it is for blind people to shop? Compared to when you have sighted people with you I mean. We left the house did our shops and were back in the house, in less than two hours. I mean, I could not believe it when we got off the bus, we turned right like Hub and I do, and went to the first tactile like Hub and I do, and I could not believe how blooming quick we arrived at the first crossing? Seconds, it takes me about a minute and so much stress keeping up with Hub and LC, aching with panic in case I lose them. Hearing the horrible busy vehicles passing on my right, the bells of the Cathedral on my left and avoiding tourists all around me, trying to hear where the bleeping is to the crossing, where Hub and I meet up, as we have meeting points, it’s impossible to walk side by side with two guide dogs.

Actually, it’s difficult, to walk side by side when I  don’t take Waggatail, as Hub cannot avoid me from obstacles, we as blind people, don’t turn sideways when an obstacle is coming up, as we  don’t see it coming until we  hit it, or knock someone out?

Ha, I’m great at that? I should have been in the wrestling ring.

Oh boy, can I body slam?

I had a great day, but when the door closed, and I was on my own again, oh God I hated it? I turned on our new radio and was OK as especially when I opened our blog page to see you all there again, my faithful family.

Just spoken to teen’s teacher on the phone. He had an interview with Teen today. He said it went well. He told me a lot and I cannot believe how nice he was? Gosh, teachers have changed since my day?

I guess kids have too? We were like mice and the teachers were the big angry cats, now kids are the cats and teachers are the mice. Shame we can’t all, be mice?

Right shopping has just arrived, so off to play the shaking, rattling, squeezing and sniffing game. Hugs. x

 

FOREVER GARDEN BY FIONA CUMMINGS

FOREVER GARDEN

BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 

Sunshine in your smile my love

Summer through your hair

I thank the stars above

That you are always there

Daily laughs I love to share

With you my love

The moonlight reflects through your eyes

Your words are so wise

How did we ever meet my love

Each day you are a surprise

Just to sit and hold your hand my love

Gives me strength to carry on

When you put your arms around me love

And we dance to our song

You give a gift to my heart

Kind of like a jump start

Your kisses my love are so tender

Your letters will never write return to sender

For it is you only I need my love

To live our life of splendour

Just some words written for you my love

As flowers fill our garden

Trees will bloom my love

Forever for us

For holding onto you I will never pardon

Life is so simple no fuss

The birds sing a song

All day long

In our forever garden

 

BLOGGETS, WORDETTS? HA. IT'S CALLED BLOGGET ENGLISH

Good morning to you all. It is a lovely day for a change here. The sun is shining and I can’t wait until this afternoon so I can go into my place of pleasure, my conservatory. The best place in the house. I will sit and drink a cup of coffee and be a wordett for a while, before commencing upon the housework again. I already have done the downstairs so will start on the upstairs. I am waiting for Paula to arrive.  Not going anywhere today, but having a chat and a bookish morning. “Thrilling!”

I washed the two cuddlies that Waggatail stole from my bedroom, remember, she is not allowed to go there, or anywhere upstairs?

Rather than put them in the drier, I placed them on the front living room windowsill. I thought they would dry nicely without shrinking or going hard? Next thing I know is they are both on the floor. Naughty pup jumped on the chair, my fault as just moved it closer to the window, and took them to play with. Back to square one now.

One my lovely friend bought me and the other my Teen bought me, so can’t won’t let her have them!

So she is with tail between legs, abolished in the conservatory. I had to open windows in there it is that warm.

Hub off to his headquarters today will be back at seven. Teen did his music exam today and his head teacher bless him, sang along to Teens playing guitar.

A Greenday song.

Teen’s heroes.

I am off to town tomorrow with a lovely lady called Liz. I have to buy some gifts for friends birthdays next week. Right an engine is  pulling up now. Laters Gators. X

A CUP OF FECES PLEASE?

Well I had the wonderful call with my BF by mobile, so well radiated now, right ear can power the north of England. It was great but poor soul, he got me chatting about teen. I hope I didn’t bore him? I truly bore myself, hope not you Bloggets? I have had a chat with Teens head teacher too. Oh they say such lovely things about teen, I mean if niceties went towards Teens GCSE’s, he would get a *’s.
But sadly, it’s all about what you can do on paper.
They are pushing his music. Again, teen is a fabulous guitarist, but has no confidence or ability to do the theory. God knows what the outcome will be, but time will tell. I know he has just come in from school and he is upstairs in the office, working again.
Well Bloggets, one day to go and the end of the month. I have less than one hundred views, before we have reached a whopping 16,000 views on our page. I really really am shocked about this. New Year if you remember, I was hoping to get about six thousand, before the first of January.
Well ten thousand since then? Absolutely amazing, but still don’t know what you want me to write about? I have been told more on what it is like to live in a blind world, but there must be more what you would like to talk and read about? Some people like the short stories, more than the poems, some like the poems over the short stories, some like the stories of when I used to go to Russia and others say they find it uncomfortable hearing about those days, as they were days of pain, but a huge time in my life and a wonderful experience, though terrifying as well as romantic. I fell in love in Russia, with the most beautiful man a loved the time I spent with him, though so many too many interferences at that time.
Let me know please what you would like?
Hub on the phone now, chatting to friends about life. What is life?
And what is the purpose? Will we ever know the answers to everything?
How come things, discoveries, take so long to find?
At our friends house the other night, we were talking about coffee and how there is a type of coffee, that goes through the digestive system of a weasel, then collected at the other end sort of thing! Oh can you imagine the job specifications on that one?
Weasel feces collector required.
Producers of the coffee beans argue that the process may improve coffee through two mechanisms, selection and digestion. Selection occurs if the civets choose to eat coffee cherries containing better beans. Digestive mechanisms may improve the flavor profile of the coffee beans that have been eaten. The civet eats the berries for the beans' fleshy pulp, and then in the digestive system, fermentation occurs. The civet’s Pass the beans through then defecated with other fecal matter and collected.
The method of collected feces from wild civets has given way to intensive farming methods in which caged civets are force fed the coffee beans. This method of production has raised ethical concerns about the treatment of civets due to "horrific conditions" including isolation, poor diet, small cages and a high mortality. The coffee is the most expensive in the world with retail prices reaching €550 /
US$700 per kilogram.
They say that most of the coffee is counterfeit, as much more is sold than can be collected. But who would want to drink poo coffee?
Give me a cup of English tea please? Ha.
Right now I have to go and make tea. God! It’s a proper one tonight, nothing out of the freezer, unless you count the chicken that I cooked yesterday? Ha. Laters my Bloggets and be happy. With hugs always. x

WAITING FOR GOOD AND BAD

Good morning Bloggets. It is windy and sunny, quite mild, but not like it should be almost the start of May. As I sit here, waiting for the good and bad of life, I am listening to my wind chimes all over the garden and the wooden ones in the conservatory. They sound lovely actually. Very calming and that is what I need. I have to make this call with Teens head teacher. I am dreading it. Hub won’t do it as everything we do we get wrong for, so he does not want to know he has washed his hands of him, does not need the stress. I also don’t but if I don’t help teen who is left? Last night I got really really upset as teen asked for myX’s mobile number. I said I would give him it whenever he asked. Teen did not want anything to do with my X so he deleted his number. We got him a new number too. But Bunches, has said it would be a good idea, if they got in contact again… What Bunches says goes. So Teen wants to take Bunches to meet with X.

Oh my God? What a disaster that will be? I don’t think I am strong enough to pick up the peaces after seeing his father again. I just can’t. But I also can’t stop teen from being in contact with him either?

Next weekend Teen is staying overnight at Bunches Fathers house and going out all day on the Sunday to a fairground about two hours away from here.

A lot of stress with Hubs job right now too and so much more. But there is a light in the dark; I am talking with my BF today, so see how I feel after that? Ha. I have to talk to the head as he is talking to Teen tomorrow about his A levels. The choices he will make. I mean, it was sorted what he would take, until Bunches Mum told him different?

The mad thing is, we have been telling teen for a year now, the subjects he was going to take, would not be suitable for him? He fought with us but one hour with the Mother, all change.

But he is now very confused and panicking as he has six weeks to go before he leaves school to go onto further education.

Oh I am so stressed. Right going to charge mobile as house phones do not work, but most of my contacts use mobile anyway. I can dial out but no one can get through to us. Buying new ones is not easy, as too much choice and we need just a phone that will dial and receive. Not one that holds fifty contacts has speed dial and makes a cup of tea?

Laters my Bloggets. xx

 

 

RADIOACTIVE

Hub and I laugh when we see adverts on the telly, about shampoos and toothpastes make up or anything to do with the skin and they say with a happy face at the end of the advert, what is in the product. At the end of it, we say “What?” Thinking, well we are not too sure we want that on our faces, hair, body, or teeth? Well I was looking at a shampoo online when I was ordering my groceries tonight and in the shampoo, here are the Ingredients

Aqua , Sodium Laureth Sulfate , Cocamidopropyl Betaine , Laureth-3 , Acrylates Copolymer , Glycerin , Zinc Pyrithione , Parfum , DMDM Hydration , Polyquaternium-7 , Polysorbate 20 , PEG-7 Glyceryl Cocoate , Triethanolamine , Magnesium Nitrate , Methylchloroisothiazolinone , Magnesium Chloride , Methylisothiazolinone , Butylphenyl Methylpropional , Limonene , Citric Acid , C.I. 17200 , C.I. 42090 .

There you go? Does that make you want to rush out and buy it? I mean, what happened to strawberry shampoo? How many people know what those ingredience are? Sounds like you are filling your hair with serious stuff! One day  our hair will light up in the dark! Radioactive hair. x

Venezuela Yes!

Great to see for the first time Venezuela on our page. I hope you come back to visit us again? China and Germany, Russia, US and our UK are all here again thank you so much.

Today has been one of those days that I haven’t really done anything, and yet have really enjoyed it? I have washed the windows at the back of the house; downstairs of course, I am sure upstairs by now are growing potatoes? I really need a window cleaner for there.

I love to do the downstairs though. Well, having said that, I start off, all cheerful ready to eliminate the muck, ha. Weapons of destruction in hands. Big orange bucket full of toxics and hot soapy water, a dish of vinegar and water and two or three cloths. So my first section of the window, goes really well? Second great? Third, not bad, forth, God? Fifth, boring? Sixth, yawn? Seventh.

 Next time….

That is my conservatory only.

One side only too.

Hub has cleaned the yard, hosing it down and teen is stuck in the office working for school. The dogs have been in the conservatory all day, they cause less damage in there, and I don’t know why that is? They lie down whereas in the living room, they run all over the blooming place, well LC and Waggatail do, BB, just sits there like the old grandmother that she is, as though to say,

“Really kids, we just weren’t allowed to do that in my days?

She has that look upon her face as though to say, “What has this world come to with guide dogs?

Ha.

Oo I have an exciting week ahead. Will tell you as I do it.

Our EBay keyboard man is really really funny? I told you he bought our keyboard we are still waiting for the money, he is determined to pay by cash, we are equally determined he isn’t, he is still saying he is coming by taxi? 200 miles? And back?  

If he comes, it will be Wednesday. Tomorrow I am phoning the school up to talk to Teens head teacher…. Trying to get Hub to do that, but so far not working.

Right off to make tea, mince dinner for the boys. XX

 

KINDNESS AND CROUTONS

Good afternoon Bloggets. It’s a sunny but cold day here today. Still having fun with the keyboard Hub is or supposedly sold on EBay? Will tell you about it later. Last night we were picked up by William and Sharron and took us to our friends Flexi and our Welsh friend Rich. We had a lovely home cooked three course meal. A lamb dish and a lovely vegetarian meal too. We had a soup and croutons and a delicious dessert with coffee and vino. We laughed and all got on so well.

Today our lovely neighbour Jay, is cutting our front grass. He is such a kind person to do this for us, and we never even asked him. He is such a good person to do this. Leaves us wishing we could do for others though?

Teen blasting music so will go for now as can not hear even though I have my earphones on. xx    

 

 

 

 

 

OLD EGGS

What do you think about older parents? I have been listening to Radio 4’s woman’s hour today and they were talking about older parenting. It was sad to hear a lady talk about her Mother who was in her late thirties when she had her and her Father was in his early fifties. Her Mother died when the now, lady was ten, and her Father then took seriously ill. So the young girl then, spent her teen years worrying about her Dad having a fall, grieving over her dead Mother and thinking at the age of thirteen, about finances and death. Being without parents still in her childhood too.

She is now twenty three and has no parents at all. It’s so sad. I was twenty nine when I lost my Dad and thirty when my Mum died. I had a one year old baby and the pain was unbearable.

All my life too, I was away at boarding school, each night I worried about if my Mum had remembered to take her tablets for her heart? Would my Dad be OK down the pit, as he was in his sixties and worked seventeen hours a day? I knew at a young age, he was too old to do such hard work. He lay flat or if he was lucky, he cut the coal on his knees. I never slept for worry.

I remember when I was four. Wondering how I would live without my parents? They were forty and forty seven years older than me.

I was in my late twenties when I had teen. I was told I was so called an older parent? I was shocked at that as I was at a great age I thought, as I had a house and I could afford to give my child the best life possible.

If I was twenty, I would not be in that place.

What age is right? I think still, late twenties. Emotionally and financially. I am not too old or too young. I do think though after the age of thirty, you are starting to get a little old?

Though my parents were kind and gave their lives to me. But this is not good for the child, as I felt so guilty all of my childhood.

 I am now a parent of my teen and I miss my parents every day. I need them every day too, though to be honest, I looked after them, for many of their latter years.

Fifteen years is forever to be without a Mum and Dad.

If they got me when they were late twenties, they would still be here now. A friend of mine is almost fifty and her Dad is eighty, how lucky is she? Still having her two parents. That is how it should be.

There is a reason why women find it hard to have children after a certain age that is not for them, but for the children who have no say in the matter of when they are born into this world.

 

 

 

 

LULLABY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Me 2 U

By Fiona Cummings

Goodnight little one it’s time for bed

Upon this soft pillow wrest your head

 On your cheek I will place a kiss

 I shall sing if you want to listen to this

A lullaby with words of love

I’ll ask the angels to protect you from above

As I hold your tiny hand in mine

And watch your sleepy eyes

I promise I will protect you

All day, throughout the night and till sunrise

Sleep little one

You will never be alone

As I am here for you

My love for you is so true

Dream of butterflies

And pale blue skies

Golden suns

Silver stars

Cherry buns

And push a long cars

Feel safe my little cherub

As I sing you a song

Know I will love you forever and beyond

My baby blue

This is from me to you

 

FRIDAY NIGHT WITH FI

My Husband is playing golf, my teen is out with his girl local, but not in our house and my dogs for some reason, are all sleeping on the rug. Me? I am sitting in my conservatory, listening to the sounds of the cars on our busy back road, winding down for the night. I can hear the gentle sounds of the wind chimes in our garden and feel the warmth of the tiny glass of sherry I have just had with Hub, before he went off to his golf course.

It is raining outside and is blooming freezing but I am toasty warm as have the heating on, ridiculous in almost May?

OMG, wait until I tell you this? My Hub has sold his keyboard on EBay. He had a load of bidders and we got really excited as the amount went up and up. Now the man who has bought it, has written to ask if we can post it? We stated no, as collection only in the sale notice. I wrote and told him this, as we also said to pay by PayPal.

Well, he then wrote to say, he would pay when he got to us, we said no, we want PayPal?

Well tonight’s was the best one, his English is not too good, so writing my way rather than his, he wrote,

“Dear Sir, I will come to you next Wednesday and collect the item. I will pay when I get there. I,

Now, wait for this one?

“Will come by taxi?”

Well let me tell you this; he lives two hundred miles away? Hahahahaha.

I can see this one being re listed?

Tomorrow night Hub and I are being collected and six of us are going out to our friend’s house for a meal. Cooked by my friend Flexi.

Apart from that, not sure what else we have planned? I have a very busy week next week. Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday, I am out with different people. So will hopefully have lots to tell you then.

The house smells lovely of cooked chicken. I have had them in the oven. Not sure what teen has had, as he went streight out with Bunches. He came in from school, rather deflated. Obviously wanting to talk to me about his exams, as he said his head teacher has been trying to coach him today, but I just showed no interest. Horrible I am I know, I feel bad but sick of getting hurt by him. I do know though unless I kind of stop making my mouth go about the outlaws, I will lose him. So a lot of biting my tongue over the next however long is required?

Right off now to see how Hub is doing on the golf course?

By the way, it is a game for the blind on the internet…ha. Got ya!

Have a happy Friday evening with love.

FEELINGS BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Feelings

By Fiona Cummings

feelings

By Fiona Cummings

Trembling fingers waiting for what

Shivering inside

An yet feeling hot

I cannot swallow

My throat is so dry

I want to laugh

Though I could cry

I need someone to talk to

Though want to be alone

Need noise around me

But need a quiet zone

Feeling excited

Absolutely delighted

Also incredibly deflated

Really let down

I want to smile

But wear a frown

Need to show pleasure

As happiness I treasure

But you see misery

So what do I feel

Do you really know me

Am I the right deal

Is it me

Am I real

Who am I

What do I mean to you

You tell me to my face I am true

But behind my back are your words the same

Is this all a game

Who will be the winner

In your mind what do I look like

Rather large or thinner

Am I blonde

Do I have green eyes

Dark hair or red

Blue eyes or brown

Am I a country girl

Or live in the town

Do we share the same interests

In life will we have  the same requests

Are we the absolute opposite

In the same room would we fit

Hand in hand would we belong

Could we sing to the same song

Well I don’t know really all I can say

Is that I write my life for you

Each and every day

I feel like you should know me

As what I write is true

All I want in common with you

Is to help you

To be a friend

A family you haven’t got

To fill the empty slot

To make you laugh

 To show you tears

To hold your hand

When you face fears

To do what is right

Not for me but for you

To walk in others shoes

To see and hear my views

To live life through my eyes

And in return

I hope to learn

How you have followed a path of happiness

Of strength and hopefulness

Together we will share

Tears of gladness

So we know each other a little better now

But feel free to ask your questions

And I will try to answer you

And in life will try to give directions

I want to show you my affections

 It is you I write these words for

So when you are so low

And on the floor

Have nowhere to go

Want so much more

I wish you the very best

And I want to give you my trust

As together we will fight this life

I promise we must

So laugh with my silly blogs

Telling about my amazing but naughty dogs

And know if I can do things in life

So can you for sure

And our failures I hope one day

We will find a cure

 

 

 

FLUFFY?

Good afternoon to you all. Well today Hub and I went to our council office to get a bus pass or two. We took a taxi as we have no clue how to get there, and they have moved their office from where it was. Well, when we walked in, we could not believe the size of it? The taxi driver told us it was like   glass cubicals and open planned. It used to belong to the train station. It was huge. A lady showed us a seat and with Long Chops, we sat and were told our ticket number, would be number 3,803. OK, she must have seen the look of horror on my face as I contemplated on sitting there for the whole day, as they sieved through the thousands of people before she / they got to us?

She chuckled and said, “Don’t worry, it’s just a number.”

“Few?

As I sat there it was really difficult to imagine, that at one time in the past, many of top hatted men, in their long coats would have frequented that building. Rushing to their offices or catching a train, as it was also an old station I was told. Wow, wouldn’t it be amazing, if you could just walk through a door, and step back into the past?

To be one of those people. To feel what a person of that time would have felt. I would love that. I always wanted to live in a converted station. With the big old clock and the old fashioned waiting room, the beams on the ceilings and the absolute atmosphere. I would have loved so much to have lived in the past, when people had time for each other, when technology did not get in the way, but I must admit, I could only go back to those days, if I was rich? Ha. I don’t want to be a poor person, from the past.

They had it too hard.

If Hub and I did live in the past though, he would not work and we would not be able to enjoy the television like we do now with audio. We would not be able to communicate with the world, but we would be able to communicate with our immediate family? Something these days I am finding more challenging to deal with.

Anyway, our bus passes. I showed the lady all I had to prove I could not see. Though I was guided to her and obviously could not see, by the way the lady placed my hand on the back of the chair to sit down. I showed her my guide dog card, though Waggatail was at home. I was shocked she did not need my passport, though we were told to bring it in? Then it came to Hubs turn. Oh that was funny?

She asked if he had his guide dog card, he looked down towards LC, and said,

“No card, but the real thing is on the floor?

She looked down and said,

“Oh, so she is? I did not see her there?”

“Who needs the disabled bus pass? Ha.

I mean, our LC, is as long as long can be, she is not exactly a Scotty?

The staff were really lovely though and we should have our passes in five days.

It is a lovely sunny day but very cold still? Really we are almost into May and it is freezing.

Oh all hell kicked off here last night, as teen announced he would have to rethink all of his studies at college? After his successful interview, after we have spent months saying he should do other studies, as there will be a lot of reading in the ones he has chosen? He hates reading?

Last night, he told us, the night before, Bunches’s Mother, told him the subjects he was taking were so called “Fluffy” subjects. Psychology? I understand the other subjects are, like sociology and philosophy, but even so, I would not dream of telling Bunches her subjects were fluffy?

So now we have a panic teen wondering what to do, as he will not take those any more…

He is taking I.T too so we shall see, but I am sick of the tension. I just wish he would pick a trade? He hates with a capital H, studying and reading.

He is going to a horse trial with Bunches and her Dad and he has cancelled a day of paint balling with friends to do this?

Oh he was really looking forward to doing that too?

He is also going to a huge fairground and shows with her and her dad, her Dad is very kindly paying for it? And of course, he is going with him again, to a music festival in the so called summer and staying overnight for two nights in a tent, with the Dad and Sister, also Sisters boyfriend.

An yet, he would not come out with us for a meal the other night with Bunches. We wanted to try to do something for them, because Bunches Mum is always giving Teen a lift also the Dad is very kind not only with his money, but he also picks teen up. They are really nice to him we just wanted to in our simple way, to try and be kind to her? But no way would they come out?

This really hurt us. Made us feel like freaks and believe me, it does not take much for me to feel like that?

Teen and I just can’t communicate right now. It really is like he is someone else. Hub says he is finished with him but I think he has been for a while to be honest. Because I so called stick up for hub, teen hates it? I am not sticking up for him, I am agreeing with what is in my opinion, the right way? I can’t do right for doing wrong.

I can’t wait for teen to grow up and get over this dreadful time of life.

A dear friend of mine, told me her Son did exactly the same and I know my step daughters have been like it for years. It is just the speed in which teen has changed that annoys me. He actually said last night, when he was going away from us, to go and talk to Bunches, as least, in his words, “she was more mature!”

Hub and I sat at the kitchen table in shock.

What have I created?

Right rant over for today, but, if you are going through the same? Don’t worry, you are not alone, and I have it from my friends with older children, they get over it? My Step daughter, the older one, , she was lovely the last time I saw her, she has had four years of pure evil behaviour, but last time I spent the day with her, she was an absolute pleasure. Please God, don’t let me have to wait four years? .

Oh I am starting to get excited about going to Oslo now. Scared but excited. I will take my laptop and tell you all about it when I am there but it is a couple of months away. Well, six weeks.

 xx

NIGHT OWLS

Good evening my Bloggets. How are you tonight, if it is night where you live? If not, I should say this. day? I have had a splitting head ache all day, just can’t shift it. I am stressed with a certain young man, yep, teen Blogget. He is driving me crazy with these exams. He is passing out almost at school with the stress and constantly wants to eat. How blooming embarrassing, today at school, he was really feeling like he was going to faint with hunger and stress. The blooming, librarian, was going to make him some chicken soup? Hahahaha. Not really funny, as especially when Teen told her it was fine, after all it was not a soup kitchen? I said to him, that was rude, she was trying to help. I wanted to say, “God, I can hear the conversation in the staff room now.

“Oh that poor child, he doesn’t seem to be getting fed? Well, you know, his parents are blind?”

“Really? Oh no wonder the poor child is hungry? They won’t be able to cook?”

God? Can’t cook, won’t cook, are not the same, are they?

Ha.

For breakfast, he had toast and cereal. For lunch, I made it for a change, as he does that, he does very little around the house, so that is what I make him do.  He had a tub with small sausages in, some party sausage rolls and some mini scotch eggs, some cheese and cherry tomatoes. He had a pork sandwich, a bag of crisps, a cereal bar, and an apple? He came in after school, he had some more small sausages, some more  toast, then I made a huge pot of pasta with peppers, mushrooms,sugarsnaps and a mushroom sauce with lots of grated cheese and some cherry tomatoes. Then a yogurt

He went upstairs after that, with a cup of tea, and two hours later, he came down, and he sat and ate more toast? Oh and another cup of tea.

I tell you he is really slim too. I ate less than half of what he ate, and I am humungous.

OMG, tomorrow? Wait till I tell you about that? Hub and I are off to hunt for the council office to get our bus passes renewed. We have to show a card, to prove we are blind before we get them. We don’t have a card. Our parents had that card. I asked the lady on the phone, would our guide dogs be enough proof? There was silence and she again said we need the card. Well we don’t have it, so God knows what will happen?

I am to go with Hub to Oslo in a couple of months. This is the first trip I will go on with his job. I fear me going will cause him more stress than if I stayed at home? We shall see. I am anxious about meeting with his friends/colleagues? If I can stay in the room I will. I would rather do that than meet with them, as I really don’t want to be a bother or any fuss made. God, I so want to be with Hub but the more I think about going, the more scared I get. I am not like him; I am not this powerful person who can demand a room’s attention when walking in? I would rather hide away. But it is a place I really want to go to and I don’t want to spend a second without him.

Right will tell you how we get on tomorrow with passes. I am sure knowing us, it will not go smoothly? Ha.

Night owls. x

MEDCIN OF THE SHADOW AND THE FIRST MOON BY FC

MEDCIN OF THE SHADOW AND THE FIRST MOON

By Fiona Cummings

Hello, my name is Aadi Aadhira, which means the first and most important and the moon. My Father, is called Vaidyanaath, this means master of medicines, well this name is not true sadly, as I am blind and he can’t help me and he couldn’t help my poor sad Mother either. She was called Chaaya, this means shadow and I truly hope she is my shadow and follows me through this life of challenges in which I am determined to overcome and successfully achieve my ambitions of becoming heavily involved with the politics of India. I live with my Grandmother, who ironically, is named Chashmum, meaning My eyes, and bless her wisdom, indeed she is just her namesake.

I go to a school called Sri Rakum School for the Blind, named after the founder. It specializes in studies in which I attend, but sadly, not my vocational interests for the future. I love reading English and historical books, of course in Braille and I have been fortunate enough to meet with an international representative from Grate Brittan, who came to our school to give a talk on life for blind people in the UK. He achieved so much and I really inspired towards him. He showed me at my young age of eleven to read Braille and broaden my future. I want to live when I am older, as far from the slums as I do now, but be able to help those I leave behind to achieve respect in life!

At our school, we have a Goshala which is a cow shed with thirty cows and calves, that has been donated by the public. I work in there and I also work at school, helping the younger children to read and write Braille. I try to make their daily life happier as a lot of them, come from backgrounds of alcohol abuse and painful poverty. At my school there are children who have life stories of such misfortune and it is my role as a sixteen year old, to tell them, they are worth so much more.  

The school's curriculum focuses on the acquisition of life skills as many extracurricular activities like, karate, Yoga, music, dance and fine arts and crafts are encouraged. The school has a computer training center equipped with screen-reading software to assist and enable the visually impaired to work with computers.

I live with my Grandmother, as my Mother died when I was only two. I have never been told directly, but overhearing and learning about how people’s minds work, I think I am  right in the thoughts that my Mother, could not live with the thought she had brought into the world a blind baby for the family. If only she stayed alive for me? She would see how much I am learning and how one day; I will earn money for the health of our family.

My Grandmother, cannot qualify for, Seva, the pension given to women over the age of 65, because she looks after me and that pension, states that the person claiming, and should not have any dependents. To qualify, you also must live in a slum, and we do. But because of me, she gets no money, because of me, she can’t claim for the free food either? This is something I would like to change when I am older, surely if she has me; she needs the money and food more? I mean, I can not earn much yet, but I am willing and I will learn as much as I am allowed to study here at our school.

I just hope my Grandmother will live long enough to see my achievements in life? She is now in her mid-sixties and her back is bowed with years of labour. Her skin is aged with the outdoor living hands shake from the crops she has planted and dug back up when the harvests are ready. She sees very little now, as she has a cataract on her right eye. My Father, who is her son, is working to try to get her help with this. I hardly see him and when I do, he cries? I hate it, my Father showing how week he is, makes me feel very insecure. I have no one who is strong in my life, just me. My Father tells me how I look like my Mother, but I will never know what she looked like, I will never know what I, look like.

I hold my hand up in front of my eyes. I can touch my fingers and count them, I can count my fingers without touching them, but no matter how many times I flicker them in front of my dead eyes, I cannot see anything. I flicker them fast, then slow, hoping to make a difference. Nothing works.

My Father will visit this week and bring bread and spices for us. He will need to take care of his hands as they are always cut, with the heavy stones he lifts at work.  We will fill the jugs of water to bathe his wounds and when he has left, we shall have enough food to last until his next visit.

At least at school, I get food, leaving my Grandmother with her rations.

I walk to school every day, across the baron makeshift roads. My aunt meets me half a mile from my house and walks me part of the way, then a friend of my Father walks me for two miles, but for this to happen, I have to leave very early in the morning, as my Fathers friend needs to get to work by seven. Then I meet with my best friend who can see enough to get us safely the rest of the way. If he is ever ill, his older sister meets with me.

Our people don’t have the money, but we have the love and support.