Well, I have just
tried to do the gym thing again. I hate it with a passion. I know last year
when I went through this mad stage. Sorry, healthy option, I rather was worried
as began to enjoy my visits to the garage AKA our gym. This year? Naha. Not on
your Nelly.
I’m in there with earphones on listing to upbeat music
thinking, what’s for dinner, the washing needs to come from our kitchen where
it’s in the washing machine to here in the garage where we keep our dryer. Then
I’m thinking what needs to go in next? What do I need to do around the house
and is LF eating our lounge?
Well, he didn’t eat anything good lad. We never did find out
where he got the glove from he deposited.
Teen is paintballing with his friends and is bringing someone
back home with him before they go out again.
This friend is lovely. I must say his closest friends are really nice. A
girl gave him a party last night and he enjoyed it as did the others. There
were quite a lot of them turned up at the poor girls or should that be poor
Mothers house?
Hub listening to the football results whilst he is in the
gym. Yawn blooming yawn. I can’t stand it especially as my team Newcastle
United are so rubbish right now. Well, have been for a while. They used to be
so brilliant. Years ago mind you. Oh my friend JB will growl at me for saying
that, bless her she is a passionate supporter. Football riles me now as there is
too much money involved. It’s obscene.
I have a meeting next week so tonight will be preparing for
that. Then I have a couple of jobs for the big office and a radio interview to
sort out as well as a children’s storey I have been asked to write for someone
now that, I’m really looking forward to.
My blog I wrote last week “Dear Fury” has received over 500
views and some fantastic results. Only three or four haters but there will
always be people who don’t agree or who perhaps are afraid fearful of
expressing feelings. It’s had so many shares and I have received countless
amounts of emails saying how that blog has helped them so I’m delighted with
that result.
I have answered your emails today thank you for them. I have
just one more to answer and will do tomorrow.
Still looking after poor Hub as he continues to be in such
pain. I hate it. I wish I could eliminate all his stress. He has received such
negative responses from Doctors and hospitals that he won’t go now not even for
pain killers. As I said in a previous blog, he isn’t half as bad as he was some
years ago, just flairs up when there is grief going on and sadly he has felt
some of late. We will work through it though.
I have been asked to write about why I believe we are here
on earth? Were we put here for a purpose? I know My Husband and I were born to
be with each other that is for certain. As for another reason for my existence?
I’m truly not sure, as for my Husbands? He has travelled the world helping so
many people in his previous job. He has signed treaties and spoken to
Governments as well as acted as go between with our country and others to get
the best for people in his field. He has given me a totally different aspect on
life and moved me to a better place on the gaming board of life.
My Son for sure was meant to be. I didn’t want children. For
lots of reasons, then suddenly after ten years of marriage I had the urge to have
a baby. I have never felt like that in my life. I can only describe it as a
need. As though grasping for air to breathe to survive. And just a year after
he was born, I lost my sight, Mum and dad and if not for him, I wouldn’t be
here now.
So yes my Son is my angel he was meant to be here to keep me
on earth, so, why me? I guess I hope, one day I may learn.
Should we all who are wondering why we are here, start on a
new journey to consciously try to live our life and become more active in
searching for wisdom and fulfilment, both external and internal?
Sometimes I think we become too involved in what others
think and how they will respond to our actions. Well there is a clue in the
last few words. Our actions. We are in charge of our own words life thoughts
and responses. We fail to allow sometimes doing for oneself, and being happy
for ourselves. Sometimes we can live for others rather than us, as doing for
only us, is selfish, right? I sadly have always believed that, but I have read
a lot this week on how people are living their lives and those who seem to be
happier and, or, more successful do have a selfish element in their
personalities.
I believe to live this kind of life you have to develop a
hard crust shell, whatever you want to call it. A tough outlook on life and if
you are not born to be like that, what can you do? Train yourselves? And if we
don’t want to? Then don’t, but then don’t complain when others walk over you.
A perfect situation is meet half way, right? So you have
time for others after you see to yourself. Hmm. I’m so on the fence with that
one but I would love to be at the other side of the fence. The side that
reaches for happiness then turns to others who need my help, if I have to stand
on someone in the meanwhile, so be it….. Gosh, no. I write this but I can’t
totally believe it. I know this is the view of a lot of young people, in fact
some older people I know too. I know a lot of people who will just do what they
want in life and not care who they hurt in the meanwhile.
Is there an answer? I think so. I think we should grab every
opportunity we can to feel happy to be in a safe place a comfortable life but a
life of intrigue and excitement. What is it they say, opportunity only knocks
once? If so go with it, run if you need to collect baggage on the way do so as
long as you get what you want at the end of the journey.
If we do only live once, and I don’t believe that, but if it
to be true, then live it to the full.
If any of this resonates it all with what you are going
through in life,
I will leave you with this.
“Nothing has transformed my life more than realising that it
is a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the
people in the stands.”
(Bren’e Brown)
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