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Thursday, 11 February 2016

DIARY OF DAY AND NIGHT


Good evening Bloggets we have just been listening to the News at Ten. Gosh, there is evil in the world, and to the extreme. America’s next President? Who will that be I wonder? The news tonight looks like Donald Trump. I don’t know enough about him to comment, other than a few people on my face book page are not impressed with him, but the alternative? They all look a bit dodgy to me.

 

Microcephaly, that is a really scary condition. Babies born with small heads. If they survive they have treatments every day fed through a tube. They have learning difficulties. 

 

The condition is caused in the womb when their brain doesn’t grow also during infancy. This condition has been around always so why is it in the news?  Because they say that the latest epidemic comes from mosquitoes.

 They, say… I do wonder just like I wondered when ebola first came out   

    

Our daughter goes on her school trip tomorrow for ten days. Let’s hope she gets back happy and has had a great time.

 

Well, that was last night today is now…. I’m really feeling sad today. It has been a week since my Dad in law and Brother in law came for dinner. Gosh that was a tough night I don’t want to repeat. It was wonderful at first, homely and just right, my brother in law is so lovely and we get on so very well, but when he left? Oh boy. It was really like someone so close to our hearts had died. My Husband went in on himself and was in so much shock. He said he had the same pain as he had when his Mum had died. It was silly as my brother in law has gone to another country to live he is still alive and he may end up happier where he is. The kind part of me wants him to be happier but the selfish part wants him not to like it and come back home. But come home to perhaps a different area and make a new life where he will be happier than he has ever been before. We miss him so much. Even teen last night said. “Mum it’s awful. I can’t text my Uncle anymore.” He coped last week by getting his guitar out that is when we know he is sad. I tried all night last week to be upbeat doing my best acting. But the lump in my throat grew as big as a hardboiled egg. Hub and I really really miss him. As I said last week, it’s not as if it’s France or Germany or anywhere like close to home, its blooming Australia.

 

We will phone Dad tonight to make sure he is OK. It’s so awkward him being so far away too. In the car, nothing is  a trouble 45 minutes but for us to get there, a taxi, then train then as I also said our brother used to pick us up, Hub said we could get a taxi from the train station to Dads house and we can, but we are talking two hours and about £90 there and back, Hub even asked our taxi company how much it would be to go directly there and it would be £180  which is OK, but not like we can do that every other weekend and that is how much we wish we could see him to make sure he is OK. All we can do for now is phone him. He will miss our brother so much. Our other brother is in Scotland for a year too so again far away. All that leaves is our Dads Daughter….. I’m saying nothing.

 

So it’s my birthday coming up. Do I feel like celebrating? Nope. If I could forget it that would be good. I don’t want to be another year older and I’m wiser but wiser in a negative way. I have lost a relative this year who isn’t dead but to me may as well be. I don’t want anything to do with her. I’m wiser because I have learned what she is really like. She took me to a high tower and dropped me. But when I landed, and it was a hard fall, I was broken, I got up and brushed myself down and was able to wake up from the darkness and see the light. See what she really was all about.

 

I have a friend with RP the eye disease I have and reading between the lines, she is on her last stages of having sight. Gosh, I feel for her. It’s odd. The symptoms are all there but we can’t for some reason comprehend the reality of it all and put it down to something else. It’s like having a window with blinds and curtains. Firstly the window gets dusty foggy, you clean your window, glasses. Not understanding why they are so dirty. Then the blind is pulled down. You keep trying to pull it back up but it won’t go. Then the curtains start to close. Even then you pull them back trying to open them. Then you are so exhausted and have to face what has really happened. Blindness.

 

Someone in a RP group I’m in asked the question.

“If there was treatment for RP, would you miss it?”

Oh I reacted by suggesting that the person who asked such a question, must have very good sight.

 

Also I said if there is a treatment or cure for RP, those who would miss it, say no to the treatment. Simple right? As someone else said.

“No, I wouldn’t miss the bruises bumps and not being able to see my children.”

Well I wouldn’t miss not being able to read letters, see my Son and Husband go on holiday whenever where ever we want not have to plan a journey like a huge adventure and not always a good adventure as most journeys are so stressful. I mean for get getting to the train station, getting on and off a train is hard enough. The gap, both my husband and I have fallen down the gap at some stage in our lives. For me it was just last year.  Our lovely LC Hubs last guide dog fell in between the train and platform too. It really hurts and to hear your poor dog in pain as they have to be lifted out is awful. With Hubs dog, the doors closed too early Long Chops was out of the train and Hub was about to step off. He still had a hold of her lead she apparently panic and as a passenger said she the dog turned around to see Hub with the closed doors and tried to get back to him, poor baby. She was a tough little angel though and was back on trains the next day. At first she was a bit wary but then was OK. Gosh, I miss that girl. She was the most amazing guide dog in the world.

 

By the way, remember we were fund raising to name a Guide dog puppy after our girl LC AKA Suki? Well, we have thanks to you all raised the money. The final amount has to be put on the Just giving page.

 

Hub has just told me he has took some time off work so we have some time together.

 

Teen has a new chapter in his life, so that is or could be very good.

 

Wherever you are in the world I wish you all a good day or night, depending on the time where you are. I’m late at writing my blog tonight because I have been working, writing and it’s been the most difficult work I have ever done as far as writing is concerned.  To be honest it’s really wound me up today I need time to write some poetry and because it’s Valentine’s day coming up in the UK, I have had a lot of poetry to write for people and it’s all been of course love poems. So I’m all loved out. Smile. Need to get some dark poems written, hey?  Later gators. X

  

 

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