MY KINGDOM FOR A HORSE

Good evening. I shall write a quick blog. Tonight is the last night I have with my dear friend Olga. She goes back home tomorrow, but, not for long, before she is back for three months.

I let her loose on the town today on her own and she returned like the food goddess. She visited our Local food market, moments from our house. From all over where we live, all of the foodies gather and sell their produce. So homemade pies, cheeses and more came home in her bags of delight. Naughty she is, as I want her to spend the money on herself. She is too kind.

Hub and I ordered our Christmas tree. It will be like last year, a real one. Huge and with the best fragrance I hope.

So I ordered some decorations for it, as the colour of our real tree, has orange ornaments.

Why orange? Long story.

More on all of that in a few days when all our lights are put up outside and in our house.

So Olga did well, along the narrow lane along the walls of our town and some more retail. I hope when she comes in June, she will be entertained in many other ways. On the river for example. Close to her bedroom window, she shall take a boat perhaps and we will have a pick nick with her Grand Son

And we can visit the country side.

Today has been a continuation of heart ache with the one we don’t talk about. Many phone calls from his place of education brought my heart to weigh more than it should.

After a visit to his Father, I was left in desperate disbelief. I predicted an outcome and sadly, the immaturity of my x shone through. Stupid I thought that we had jumped over the barrier of pain some weeks ago and for the sake of the one I don’t talk about, we could be adult about things.

How wrong could I be?

If only my x thought about someone else rather than himself for once in his life, then he, would be set free from the curse of crippling cruelty.

Sadly, my soul suffers and this will make the evil one happy, rather than being peaceful, and perhaps finding a calm crossing to comfortably pass by without drawing swords!

I gave my life to others, my parents, then at the age of seventeen my x and I was his slave for so many years, protecting him and cooking, cleaning and being his candy to sweeten evenings out with friends.

How he forgets all of this and how bitter he leaves the chocolate which melts in the fire of our Sons heart.

Well, if only I can get through the next few years without his involvement. My biggest regret has been keeping the two of them in touch.

I really stressed trying to get my Son to phone his father, getting him to call him. Paying for him to visit him and even me texting my x, pretending to be my boy, just to keep the light on with the two of them.

I even bought Christmas and birthday gifts for my x in the past from my Son.

How absolutely foolish of me.

For what has happened this week, has truly taught me a lesson.

My friend Olga said she knew what would happen; I also did, but, hoped as always, deep down, there would be some kindness in the x’s heart. Hope? What is that word?

So Olga and I have talked about life tonight, after a night of murders, stabbings and tears.  Richard the third at our theatre was rather challenging.

We did pre ordering drinks for the interval and laughed as I told her and Hub that the huge explosions in the play in the first part woke me up.

The actors were amazing though, I must admit.

Anyway, on our way out from the theatre, we crossed the road to walk home. Our neighbour stopped her car. She had been out for the night with her daughter to try and trace a group member from our English group, “The wanted.

Don’t ask. Hahaha.

We jumped in her car, though it was a five minute journey, it was really funny. It is a tiny car, with two seats in the back. Well the three of them went there and I went in the front of the car. OMG, you should have seen us, we were like a comedy sketch.

Hahahaha. If I could have reached the handle, to open the window, I would have put my legs out.

 All the family are in bed and a sad day a head for us saying bye bye to our lovely friend, but not for long.

OK, this blog was going to be a small one, what went wrong?

Nighty night. Xxxx