REALLY LOOKING FORWARD

My friend is coming tomorrow, I can't wait. I am sure I will have a lot to chat about on Sunday afternoon, when she has  left? Tomorrow we are going to the church Christmas fare and out for a lovely meal in the evening. Sunday, we are hitting the shops in the town, so get some bigger gifts. So must go and make her tiny bedroom look as nice as possible! I just want to wish you a wonderful weekend? Thank you again for reading, America, bless you all, as you are almost catching up with my home friends in the UK, and Germany, it's so good to see you coming back as a steady viewer. Going to do my work, then chat to my friend on the phone, always look forward to that. Just will pass on this silly joke....
A man visits his aunty in a rest home. When he arrives, she’s asleep, so he sits down in a chair in her room and flips through a few magazines, and munches on some almonds which are sitting in a bowl on the table.
Eventually, his aunty wakes up, and the man realizes he has absent-mindedly finished the entire bowl of almonds.
"I'm so sorry, aunty, I've eaten all of your almonds!"
"That's okay, dearie," the aunty replies. "After I've sucked the chocolate off, I don't really like eating the almonds anyway”.
Haha. Yack?

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"What are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like hell they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone, too, and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving. Now what do we tell them for Christmas?"