MY AWARD

My award

I had a real difficult time of it in the U.S.S.R for seven long weeks to a child that was an eternity. I had 174 injections and could hardly walk I was in so much pain. The reunion with my Mum after not seeing her for so long was mind blowing. Of course it was all captured on camera and the reunion went out live on the BBC. John Simpson did his first foreign broadcast way back in 1975 with me. I could not show my true feelings for two reasons, one it was shown on the television and two because  my tears had been frozen and my heart had stopped. For the emotion’s which I encountered, were ones of the harshest grief and fear that any adult will ever experience. There was my Mum, after seven weeks of being in my opinion removed from me or me stolen from her. How long would I be allowed to be with her? I couldn’t show her any feelings; I had no feelings to show. It was then, that I learned to box all feelings that I had. That combined with the evilness of boarding school, had left me with ribbons of trusting anyone.

Of course like  everything in my life, it wasn’t as streight forward as just getting on the aeroplane and coming home, oh, no, lots more went on before my return and I really wish to let you know of that in my one day autobiography.

I did eventually return to the U.k and was asked to go to London, to receive an award. A child of courage award.

Why I really will never know and still do not understand why I received it? I was not brave, I was terrified and once more, I had no choice in the matter of being in a hospital which was like a deadly place of torture to me.

 There were people at the stunning hotel that we were put in that really were brave. Children who had saved lives for example?  Never the less, it was an experience that I will never forget and still proudly have my award, though to me, it does not represent bravery,  but a sign of my strength. I got through that awful time that again I hope to share with you as so many things went on that will take too long for a blog.

 I was to present flowers to Mrs Wilson, the Prime Minister’s wife; we all stood in a line, waiting to greet her. I will never forget her, she was so beautiful, with the most amazing eyes that sparkled as she bent down to talk with me. Oh I wish I could have met with her again later on in life?  I met with some wonderful people and had lunch with them.

Television characters, like Michael Crawford, who played the part of Frank Spencer,  a real fun  character from the sitcom Some Mothers do av  Em, who since has gone  on to sing and lead in West end productions. I met with lots of T.V personalities and the singer and comedian Harry secombe, was the hit of the day with the children.

I was given a beautiful glass block with a real gold seagull and gold writing explaining what the award was for, as well as a scroll and some beautiful books for children.  It was a wonderful day that I will always treasure, not because of bravery, but sense of strength and my Mum should have received the bravery award, because what she had to put up with was traumatic and excruciatingly heart rendering!

What does the word brave mean to you? To me it is something done selflessly for others and that was what my Mum did in her entire life. Week after  week, sending countless letters out to thousands who wrote to her with hope that they too could be helped to see. X