10 inches?

Good morning my friends,

I received a lovely email from a girl who I know from church. She is the person who plays the piano! Married to my funny Welsh friend, hahaha. He will kill me, referring to him like that, but I mean funny ha ha, not funny peculiar? Hahahaha

Anyway, this email the lady had read my blog on going to the teen’s school and she asked if I needed a lift? How kind was that? I would have rather gone with her than the teen, as he has too much to say at these meetings, you know those moments, where you just don’t know what he is going to say next?  But how kind of the lady? What a good person and she really doesn’t know how grateful I was to receive that mail from her? Hub and I are hopefully going out with her and her hub, or hub and Daughter at Christmas that will be lovely?

Oh well, my funny story today? Okay, picture the scene?

I had to go to our garage, because I had some clothes in the dryer? Our dryer is in the garage, along with our freezer, exercise bike, treadmill, Christmas tree and all of the corny Christmas lights, that I am sure will lower the tone of the street this first year in our house?

As well as paint and all the other rubbish you put in your garages”

Well it was dark, so no one was out, as I piled all of the clothes over my arm, collecting my underwear last, hooking it over my hand. Being really careful not to drop anything, only to be retrieved by a neighbour the next day?

Just as I am locking the garage, a voice comes down the street, towards me?

“Hello there!” Well, was he talking to me? Should I answer and look a complete Charlie if he is not talking to me? Or should I be ignorant and say nothing?

I answered in a quiet voice, and yes, those who know me, I can, do quiet?

“Hello!” Waiting for a voice to say to someone, “Who’s that nutter talking to?” But he was talking to me. Well, I asked him what had he been up to? He did not hear, so asked me to repeat? I did,

“What have you been up to this week?” He replied

“Sorry? What did you say?” Well I rephrased it in as many ways as I could.

“Have you been up to anything interesting this week?

What’s been going on with your life this week? And the list went on, and he still did not understand, you know those moments, when you just think, God, why did I bother asking that?

Oh, at this point, I must stress, I know the man. He is a lovely neighbour, who we really like. Anyway, I got through to him in the end. My teen thinks he wears a Bluetooth what not gadget in his ear, I blooming think it is a hearing aid?

Well we got deep into a lovely neighbourly conversation. I found out some questions I have been dying to know since we moved here three months ago and it was going well? Until I realised, my bra and four pairs of knickers, were draped for all to see, right in front of the pile of clothes I was carrying. Thank God, they were my Sunday best nice knickers, and not my winter warmers? Hahahaha, but my bra? OMG? Well luckily there was not a couple of bats flying by, or they may have landed, thinking they had found a nice hammock for the night.

Well it was a much civilised conversation. He is a really clever individual. Next thing, he is talking about his manhood being ten inches? Hahahahhahahahahha, “What?” Of course shy and demure me, told him he was seeing double again?

Really shortly after  that, I said I had to do something in the house and left, but he walked away chuckling, I was mortified, in fact, my morti has never been so fied?

Now I better clean this up as my Hubs colleagues read it, as do half my respectable church, as does my borrowed American parents? Oh God, as does my Husband? Hahahahahah. Have I had a live Oopsy moment?

Well I got wrong for being too serious, so you know me, I’m all or nothing.

My neighbour, obviously had it all?

 Well it is silly time in the morning here in the U.k and my Hub has not phoned, guess he slept in? He will be so tired. I still have six sleeps, he only has five now?

My wind chimes are going mad with the wind; well either that or the pixies are jumping up to play with them, should I go out and tie them up? The wind chimes that is, not the pixies? Hmm, best not, my neighbour may return!