HAPPY SMILER

HAPPY SMILER

Wow, I did it? I am rather numb at this moment in time, not because I have just got back from the dentist, but because I did it, I actually did it!

My little Black beauty was a star. What a little angel she was. My nerves rose to a healthy 80% to only follow a not so healthy 90% just as I was putting on my shoes. Long chops was not impressed she was getting left and Black beauty boasted to her as she was harnessed up!

It was chilly and windy, but not so windy that it was dangerous. If the wind is so strong and hangs around my ears, I can not hear my footsteps and all around me, like the noisy tree branches that swish as we pass or the water feature on the left in the garden close to the school, or the wind chimes across the road opposite the crossing for the lake walk. I heard them all today, even though the road on the right was rather busy today.

So we got stroked by the witches fingered tree today  at the top of our street and a thumbs up from her for support, so she is not that bad,  just likes attention, hence grips your face and jumper as you pass her!  She probably could see the tension in my face, or the absolute determination.

We passed all of the bus stops and five roads to get to the dentist. Up the stairs three lots and threw the door, via trying to entre another couple of doors first, but we found it in the end! I stood and took in my surroundance. So the desk, was on the left? Off I went and from then on it was easy.

Good God, she gave me a real good examination? I have never in my life of going to the torture zone of the dentist chair, had such an examination.

She was a really nice girl though sounded young enough to be my daughter? Those who know me, she must have sounded twelve??????Those who don’t know me, she sounded about twelve?????hahahahaha. Because I of course, am only thirty two! ! !

“Stop it?”

Well we were in there over an hour? I came out in debt, of quite a lot of money. Always had perfectly healthy teeth, must be the water around here, or the sweeties through the night? Hahahahahaha. God, I have to go back another two times. But I can do it. I know I can. When I came out, my BB, tried to do the route home, but I confidently changed her plan and veered off to the chemist, and then shop for milk and bread, telling the helpful man in the shop, my car was just parked outside!  As he was the person, a couple of weeks ago, who after helping me around the shop, seeing my guide dog, asked me if I needed help to my car?

He laughed.

All the way home passing the monkeys in the zoo, as the children were on lunch break.

Few, I feel relaxed and in a bit of shock, but have a lot of pride. I had to be in this place though. This frame of mind. I can’t tell you to feel such pride or strength, it has to be up to you, so don’t feel like I still do most days, useless, feel like you never know what is around the corner, and if you are up to it, do it,  don’t think about it! The more I was thinking about it this morning, the worse I was getting.

Believe me; I have been in the place where I did not even dare to go to my bin on my drive.

I did it today, thanks to my dog, thanks to my angels, thanks to my BF thanks to friends telling me I could , my Husband for showing me he can so can I and bringing me to a place where I can go out. Thanks to all of you, I wanted to get back to tell you. I pray if you are housebound like I was, like I still am in so many ways, I need to give you a share of the strength I found today and if you a super blind person who this is nothing for you to do, well good on you, but not everyone is as brave as you are. I am not saying I can do the town on my own, I think that is a place I can never go to, but I thought today was a place I could never visit, until today! Xxx