Welcome Taiwan and Poland

Teen off to town to see a new girl, Hub off to Cathedral and I have just put  all of the last minute shopping away that was delivered a short time ago.

It is freezing outside and so windy. My lovely brother in law and Father in law came very early this morning. We swapped Christmas presents and wished a merry Christmas though we know that Dad is not a happy man, after Hubs Mum died a year and a half ago. He is a shell of a man now,  with no soul or spark. I felt so flat when they left, as I am powerless to help him. He spends his life in the pub, his best friend is his drink and there is nothing we can do to break them up, or even to dilute slightly his intake of alcohol. I have seen this happen to a friend. An intelligent friend, who was full of life, who always liked a drink and a good meal to which he would complement the two things with fine converse. The bottle took over his body and now he can not have a conversation with anyone and is for sure not interested in food. It is a sad sight, not only do people tell me he looks dreadful, but he sounds bad and has no quality of life. If Hubs Dad is not with drink, he is no one. A lost soul. So sad to see, as he was a very clever man and as sharp as a knife.

He is beyond talking to, as he would say, “Well, what else is there to do? When I drink, I don’t hurt!” Sad to tell him, he  does hurt, but  in a different way.  He used to read the newspapers to us and talk about what was in the news. Not now, nothing. He sits there. It’s awful. My poor brother in law, does everything for him. He is an amazing son! I feel very guilty, as we live so far away from them, we can’t just jump in a car and go, though if we were there, I wonder if he would even acknowledge the fact? We gave him his Christmas gifts and it was as though we were handing over a sheet of blank paper. We tried to give him all of the gifts he likes, but the only gift he will ever want, is his wife back, and sadly, we can not grant that. I wish we could, as I miss her too!

So now, do I go to my church today? There is a carol service on in an hour. I am terrified to make that short walk. My poor Black beauty, is really not working well now, one can tell, she is needing to retire, as she has had me in very difficult situations of late. Dangerous and life threatening. I really should not work her, I wished Hub had stayed and gone to our church, but he had kind of booked seats at the Cathedral and felt guilty for them  keeping them.

It will be dark, not that it makes much difference to me, but BB, does not work normally in the dark now days and it is so windy, I can’t hear the traffic, so a nightmare really, and I know very well my lovely friend Julie at church, or my coffee cup friend would come for me, but I hate asking and will reserve that for when I am desperate. I don’t want to sicken people so will I go or not? Gosh, I don’t know, I  just know, I am terrified and I went to church for Hub and it’s me who is there most of the time, because the people are so sweet and it is sometimes the only time I get out for weeks, if Hub is away.

I will tell you in the next blog, if I was brave enough, if I’m not, please don’t hold it against me, because I really feel sick at the thought of putting my foot outside the house and I will feel really lonely and sad as I should be with my family. Pathetic, hay?

Oh I have a lovely story for you, I was thinking about it today after our poor Dad left.

Talking to a friend yesterday too, who is waiting for an operation on her knee, who is desperately depressed as she can not get out of the house. I thought, I know how that feels, but people just don’t think sometimes about how others are in life.

What is there for older people to do here? Drink? Yes there are activities for those who are out going or active. But what if you are not?

In the US, I was really surprised how brilliant it was for older people. I visited my Borrowed Mum and Stolen Dad and they took me to a shopping centre where you  could sit and read, or play board games or do jigsaws.  Right through the centre  isles, were tables full of people playing games. It had a calm wonderful feeling. Fantastic atmosphere and somewhere for the lonely to go to, to feel like they have people who want them.

 But the best was to come. My borrowed Mum took me to the sports centre………..”Stop, it? Hahahahaha.

No, sorry to disappoint you my Bloggets, I did not play volleyball, or do synchronised swimming, but I visited an art room. I looked at my Yam as I call her, she was  telling me what I could do there. She wanted me to paint?

Paint? I don’t think so, but anyone who knows my Yam, as she is lovely will know you do not argue with her. She is an absolute inspiration and the most positive person.  Well as we went into the room there were two wonderful ladies. They did not even flinch about the fact that a   blind person was presented to them wanting to paint, well, I should say, wanted to paint.

As Yam, was sure I was to do the art.

As I took my apron and sat at a table, it was like

“OK move over Picasso ?”

Well, there were shelves full of things ready made from wood, to paint and everything was full of detail. My Yam, said that may be a little too much detail required. I thought as she picked the fifth thing up and disregarded it to be too difficult, “Few, I can run.

But no, my borrowed American Mum, found the perfect thing for me to paint. Something that would be so useful to me in the home! Are you ready for it?

(A MIRROR)

I painted it bright red, tomato red, and I still have it. I will forever remember that day, a day where I felt normal, human, I did something I never thought was possible. It was fantastic. A room anyone could go to and laugh, be a child again but come out feeling so proud. I will treasure that mirror for my whole life then pass it on to my Son, as he too will remember that day. The day where Hub went to play a game of air hockey, yep, my Hub, blind, played air hockey and loved it as did, teen who was a boy of eleven then. The day I painted my mirror, the day I could do what the sighted could  do.

  A room full of laughter, full of achievement, full of memories.

I wish we had those places in the UK, though we would need people  like my Yam and the two ladies, who had the artistic gift of non-judgemental hearts.