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Thursday, 6 December 2012

BLIND PARENTING


BLIND PARENTING

It’s after two in the morning and I am sitting here downstairs. The house is creaking with the heating, the pipes expanding, which reminds me, Hub wanted to turn the boiler up in the garage so asked our teen to go out with him to see what number it was on? Well, Teen came in so proud, announcing, he had fixed the boiler? Hahahahah. I give credit when it is due, but not  too sure, that turning up a dial, was worth a pat on the back?

I have just come  off Facebook, and I was talking to a friend on there, who went to my school many years ago. Her husband also is blind and what a caring Dad he is. She was saying that  he was trying to explain what algebra was to their eleven year old, and was a little frustrated, because he could not see to point and help in a better way? I said that the children were lucky, as sighted parents don’t always  help their kids, my X  didn’t for sure. I remember the days when I really struggled to try to teach my Son to write and read. Can you imagine, I did not know Braille, so could not read to him, I used to make stories up and do puppet shows,  with his teddy’s and his naughty cuddly dog, Roger! Sometimes he would laugh and other times, he would lay in his cot or bed when older and be silent. I am sure he was staring at me, as though to say

“Mummy, are you feeling alright?” Ha. If you were to be with your children again through those days when you were teaching them to read and write, think how you would do it with no sight? It’s times like that when I really felt the loss of my eyesight. You have a dreadful sinking feeling of complete hopelessness! Like when they are invited to parties, and you can’t get there, so your child stays at home with you. It never occurred to other parents to ask if we needed a lift and I even used to hint, I was never any good at asking and I guess they were too stupid to think how I was going to get there. My Son would sit on the arm of the chair looking out of the window, at the children passing by, going to the various parties and I would break my heart. Now, I would take a taxi but then I had no  money to do so. I used to compensate by giving my Son the best birthday parties in the world. He had amazing parties and I worked really hard to give him them. I did all of the food and set the tables in a lovely way, blew all of the balloons up and hung banners up. Must say, x did help with that, not to hang up, but to tell me at least if they were the right way.  Would sort out the music and wrap all the little parcels for  the games we would play. I booked all of the entertainment we had like Punch and Judy shows, Magicians and one year he had a full production. A theatre came and did the most wonderful performance. I arranged one year for him to have a fire engine party, Gosh, that was a  blog in itself? I would save up all year round to give my little boy a day to remember and still to this day, he talks of his parties. But to see his little happy face would have been so lovely?

Some people think that blind people should not have children? I would love to meet with those people and look into their parenting skills?

I just know that no one can love their child in the way I do and the friend I was talking to tonight, sounds a fantastic Mother and her Husband really wants the best education for his Son. My friend is always taking her children to lovely places and they sound a great family. The sad times I felt when my Son could not do some things other kids could like play out in the nearby streets, because I would not be able to go out and find him or look out of the window and see him for example, were substituted by me spending time with him in the house or garden and I can tell you this, he has had a much better life, with my blind Husband, his step father and me than he ever could have had, or did have with me and his sighted Father. I know parents who are dreadful and can see perfectly. My child has never been in danger and always has had nice clothes and has been brought up with very good manners. He is a very kind lad with a heart of gold. x

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