BLIND PARENTING
It’s after two in the morning and I am sitting here
downstairs. The house is creaking with the heating, the pipes expanding, which
reminds me, Hub wanted to turn the boiler up in the garage so asked our teen to
go out with him to see what number it was on? Well, Teen came in so proud, announcing,
he had fixed the boiler? Hahahahah. I give credit when it is due, but not too sure, that turning up a dial, was worth a
pat on the back?
I have just come off Facebook,
and I was talking to a friend on there, who went to my school many years ago.
Her husband also is blind and what a caring Dad he is. She was saying that he was trying to explain what algebra was to
their eleven year old, and was a little frustrated, because he could not see to
point and help in a better way? I said that the children were lucky, as sighted
parents don’t always help their kids, my
X didn’t for sure. I remember the days
when I really struggled to try to teach my Son to write and read. Can you
imagine, I did not know Braille, so could not read to him, I used to make
stories up and do puppet shows, with his
teddy’s and his naughty cuddly dog, Roger! Sometimes he would laugh and other
times, he would lay in his cot or bed when older and be silent. I am sure he
was staring at me, as though to say
“Mummy, are you feeling alright?” Ha. If you were to be with
your children again through those days when you were teaching them to read and
write, think how you would do it with no sight? It’s times like that when I
really felt the loss of my eyesight. You have a dreadful sinking feeling of
complete hopelessness! Like when they are invited to parties, and you can’t get
there, so your child stays at home with you. It never occurred to other parents
to ask if we needed a lift and I even used to hint, I was never any good at
asking and I guess they were too stupid to think how I was going to get there.
My Son would sit on the arm of the chair looking out of the window, at the
children passing by, going to the various parties and I would break my heart.
Now, I would take a taxi but then I had no
money to do so. I used to compensate by giving my Son the best birthday
parties in the world. He had amazing parties and I worked really hard to give
him them. I did all of the food and set the tables in a lovely way, blew all of
the balloons up and hung banners up. Must say, x did help with that, not to
hang up, but to tell me at least if they were the right way. Would sort out the music and wrap all the
little parcels for the games we would
play. I booked all of the entertainment we had like Punch and Judy shows, Magicians
and one year he had a full production. A theatre came and did the most
wonderful performance. I arranged one year for him to have a fire engine party,
Gosh, that was a blog in itself? I would
save up all year round to give my little boy a day to remember and still to
this day, he talks of his parties. But to see his little happy face would have
been so lovely?
Some people think that blind people should not have
children? I would love to meet with those people and look into their parenting
skills?
I just know that no one can love their child in the way I do
and the friend I was talking to tonight, sounds a fantastic Mother and her
Husband really wants the best education for his Son. My friend is always taking
her children to lovely places and they sound a great family. The sad times I
felt when my Son could not do some things other kids could like play out in the
nearby streets, because I would not be able to go out and find him or look out of
the window and see him for example, were substituted by me spending time with
him in the house or garden and I can tell you this, he has had a much better
life, with my blind Husband, his step father and me than he ever could have
had, or did have with me and his sighted Father. I know parents who are
dreadful and can see perfectly. My child has never been in danger and always
has had nice clothes and has been brought up with very good manners. He is a very
kind lad with a heart of gold. x
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