SHE EVEN HAD A PONY

TEENS GIRLFRIEND

Well our teen got up early. Cleaned his bathroom and did a once over of his bedroom, as he  was up until two in the morning yesterday cleaning and hoovering his bedroom for the girlfriends arrival.

I made lunch. Spaghetti Bolognese. Teen went to collect her in the town by bus. I was really looking forward to meeting with her for the first time.

Well, in she came and I must say, what a delightful beautiful girl she is.

I was quite surprised. I thought  she would be a silver spoon kind of child. Pretentious and spoiled. But instead, she is really lovely and relatively down to earth.

Over the dinner table, I asked her all of the unsuitable questions, one of them,

“So, what do you see in my Son?” Ha, our teen, said,

“Mum, what a question?” She did not say his handsome looks, ha, his lovely hair or eyes or height or voice, but his manners. He is different to any other boy she has ever met. He is very polite and caring and he is, she is right bless her. I only hope it is enough to keep them together, as she is so very intelligent and to be honest, our teen is as sharp as a knife/bright as a button, but not at all academically minded. He hates revision and is so laid back it’s unbelievable.

She goes to the best school in the country and has private classes three times a week.

Even today, New  year’s eve, she had classes.

She goes skiing in the best places and lives in a huge house with the very best furniture and finest soft furnishings. She wears Haute Couture , and talks with absolute grace, but is so absolutely beautiful. A nice girl with a great sense of humour.

Now they are listening to music upstairs, or making it? I hope not, her Father will get his farmers shot gun and shoot Teen as they have spent thousands on her education.

Yep, her Dad owns a farm and her Mother owned hotels but now is into I.T.

 Well, will go for now, but will talk later tonight. I have some food to cook to welcome the new year in. xxx

TEARS FOR MUM BY FIONA CUMMINGS

TEARS FOR MUM BY FIONA CUMMINGS

 

A tear falls as an ending has occurred

In so much pain it’s so absurd

Lessons we have learned

Words we have heard

Your free now

Like a released dove

Surrounded by memories of how much you were loved

I hurt so much inside

You have no idea the tears I have cried

A fire burns deep

Though the wounds I hide

 I have nowhere to place a flower

Or put a card

So these words are for you

And to write is so hard

But to feel is easy

So much I wished I had chance to say to you

Like I love you

And thank you

To tell you that you are beautiful

How I think you were wonderful

And because of you I went so far

One person who is so missed

I say you, are

I wish you had stayed

I pray memories never  fade

As you are the route to my life

The beat to my heart

My daily start

But my night time thought

Is with you I fought

But we could never be enemies

Because you were my family

My doting Mam

Because of you, is who I am

I wished you had never gone away

Where ever you are I pray

You have your life now

For you must live

Because when you were here

You only knew how to give

I love you Mam with all of my heart

Until we meet again

I must live through us being apart

 

THOUGHTS ON 2012

End of the year thoughts

Well here we are, the end of the year of 2012. Wow, what a year for me? How about you? I can promise you now, I am a totally different person this month, to what I was a year ago today. I am so glad I am too. I feel stronger and so much more positive about living, rather than existing. Why? Because of so many things. One, I have a very very good friend and his lovely wife, who are a wonderful couple and have kept me so strong of late. I have met a few friends one who I know will be there in life, and some new friends in the new area where I now live. I really did not want to move here. Since I have, I have cried over missing old friends, but the one who means so much to me, comes to visit and the truth is, I see more of her now than I did where I used to live, a mile down  the road from her. I have made some lovely friends here at our church and I have learned a lot since I have moved here.

I have learned that I can do a lot more than I  ever imagined I could. Don’t get me wrong, I am still a coward and a lot of days a real loser, but there are days when I sit with a smile and feel so very proud of simple tasks that I have been able to do, mainly with my Husband, as he is my right arm and I his left. We work well together.

My Son has a better life here than he did back home, and Our dogs get more work. We can do things we could not do back home. Yep, I still say back home, my Northumberland will always be my home.

But this house is becoming our house. My fantastic family in the US, have been such good support and mean the world to me.

I have a wonderful life friend coming on the 2^nd to see us and I am so excited about that.

I have a new guide dog coming at the end of the week, and providing all of the training and matching goes to plan, we will have lots of  new adventures to tell you about.

 I have a new plan for the new year, a plan I will tell you as soon  as it is set up and with the help of you all, I will be able to do it well.

I have a very strong feeling that when I write my thoughts on the year this time next year at the same time, I will be a totally different person again? I hope I am as I really don’t like the week person I am now, though becoming so much stronger.

I am 93 views off making 6000. I started writing my thoughts, my diary in September and thought my US family of a few, would read it and that is all. Since then all over the world have viewed. And what makes it so lovely, is you are coming back. I feel like I know you and for sure you all  now know me.

I really pray that I have been able to hold your hand when you have been in need and made you smile when you have felt sad. This is all I want in the world, to help people. To let people know if I can, you for sure can. Because believe me, I really have been down on the floor in life.

Now, where am I? looking out of the window, sometimes going to the door and walking out there.

 This year in the UK, has seen the Queens 60^th Jubilee and the wonderful Olympics. Our lovely Prince William is to be a  Dad too. Personally, there  have been some nightmares and I have lost a friend who I thought would be close to for ever, but not too sad we are not.

I have gained a friend who I will have forever I know that.

Who knows what Hubs job will bring this year, but we have gone through years of stress with our X families also have been through the death of Hubs Mum. It has been a challenging few years and we are still here. We can cope with anything.

I feel the next year will be the most positive one I have ever had, why? Because I have all of you and how happy that makes me.

If you are feeling low and really can’t face the next twelve months. Please stay with me for just two months and see what will happen in your lives? Think positive and something will happen that you will be grateful to be alive to see.

I tell you, this next year, will be for you. Wait and believe in it and it will happen.

If you can do one thing today, do it for you.

If you have just split up from your marriage and are feeling afraid of the changes in your life, know you can come out of it so much stronger and you have a chance now for you to make something out of your life that will give you a reason for living and not existing.

You were in a dreadful rut before. You are free of that now.

It’s stopped raining in your hearts and the sun is out

If you are alone tonight when the clock strikes midnight, know that here in the UK, there is someone caring about you thinking about you loving you that was not there last year. Me. Your very own Fiona.

I am genuinely wanting you to know that.

There is no need for you to feel alone again.

It is my dream, my mission, to work for you. To be there for you. To laugh and cry for you.

To share my down days and together we will rise.

I would like to wish you all a very happy New Year.

Come out with me hold on tight and we will fly through the skies of unchained hearts.

A very happy future my Blogget family. Please pass this on and get our family to the 6000 mark by tonight.

We are all in it together.

x

SOOOO SATISFYING SOFA

Well, today was the day when we were going hunting for a sofa for our conservatory. I was so up for it. I never before have bought anything on my own as a blind person, as before when I bought furniture, I was with my X who could see perfectly well. He just used to leave his credit card and brain at home. So I still did the ground work, with his help of getting me to the items we were to look at and telling me the colours. But he did not decide or choose. He left that up to me, because he  never showed interest in anything around the house

Well it is one bus stop away or a fifteen minute walk to our furniture shop, but we have not been taught the route to it, so we took a taxi there and back.

Hub was very anxious about it and I was so relaxed, as  long as we could get help when we were in there, I would be fine. Help in there? Ha, right?

So the lovely taxi driver dropped us off showed us where the door to the shop was, when I went in with Hub, we asked a lady who worked there if we could get some assistance. We knew she worked there because she was talking to a customer. When she finished, she said she would get someone. We are not sure why she, could not help, but never mind, we had found a nice sofa to sit on. After waiting for about fifteen minutes, I got cross, and I stood up. Hub asked where was I going? I told him to look for an assistant. I thought if they saw me walking around with my white cane, they would get worried I was going to knock over their lamps, but no one came. I did notice they were going to other people who had just come in, so I was getting more angry. Hub was getting a little anxious, so this made me more determined to get help. It was so funny, I thought I can not hear anyone now available, so I will ring the blooming shop. I did. Hahaha. It rang and rang. No one answered. Well, after de touring the dining tables and chairs, coffee tables and some dreadful sofas, we found the counter where there was a man sorting out finances. I stood almost over the poor people, but thought I  am not waiting any longer. He finished and we spoke up. He said he would get someone.  For God sake? So what is wrong with these people? I can tell you. To show blind people around their furniture, was like their worst customers. I mean, “How would they handle us? How would they communicate with us? We can not hear or talk? How would they guide us around the shop? We have no legs or brains, how would we blind people pay for anything? Little did they know that Hub earns more than two of their staff put together, won’t tell them about our mortgage or Xs to pay for but they knew nothing about us. To talk to blind people was obviously beneath them.

At last, after twenty five minutes, a very lovely man called Steve, came and took my hand, a little more familiar than I would have liked, an arm would have done, but bless him he was so lovely, and not over the top either, God, some  people have no idea how to guide us, we are just like you and won’t break, honest. We even move like you. One leg in front of the other.

This man was great, he talked about the colours and textures he was so natural.  Not at all condescending spoke to us like he would his brother and sister if they were buying a couch and were colour blind.

Turned out, he used to raise money for guide dogs and  rightly so proudly has a picture of him handing over a cheque to guide dogs. He raised enough money when he was fifteen to buy four guide dogs. What  a lovely man.

So we sat on the sofa’s and tried all of the recliners out. We bought one in the end. Oh I am really excited about it. Hub wanted to buy class as he always does, For the conservatory, I was not too fussed. If it was the living room, different, we got an excellent deal. Real leather and so very comfortable. Oh it’s great. Though we have to wait fourteen weeks for it. I asked was that to give the calf’s time  to be born? Poor things, here is me being a vegetarian and buying a leather couch? Bad really. Double standards, kind of. Well we would  look funny sitting on a cabbage!

So April is when our sofa is coming.

We did it. We are so strong together and life sometimes is a nightmare, and sometimes, more times than enough,  we are so flat because we end up not doing things we  want to but when we do, oh it is a great feeling.

So when we took our money tin into the bank, all those coins we collected, have  gone to pay for the

sofa, we just need to add £98 to make up the extra money.

Teen had gone to the grocery shop to buy the dinner for lover girl coming tomorrow. I must admit, I am really looking forward to meeting her.

She sounds a lovely girl. The only thing is, he has met her at least five years too early, as I am sure they will have split up before it is time for them to marry.

But you never know, he could end up dating her for years and then marrying her, but I  hope not for years, as I want him to have a life first.

I am sure her parents will say the  same.

OK,  tomorrow I had so many ideas, but teen asked for Spaghetti Bolognese. So that is what we are having, well, they are having. I will have the spaghetti.

Oh, on Wednesday, my lovely friend from school is coming and I can’t wait to see her. I think she is bringing her nineteen year old daughter too. That  will be lovely, as I get on with her too. Really looking forward to seeing my little pal.

At school, we were really close. Hub, her and I, were all at school together when we were very tiny, till we were twelve. We will all be together again.

She is a great friend, one who I hardly see, but we know each other are always there.

Oh, must add, she has a wonderful name too. So pretty, really beautiful. It means white Scottish flower. Hahaha.

Till laters my Bloggets. x.

REFLECTIONS OF WINTER BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Reflections of winter by Fiona Cummings

 

Reflections of winter

So cold like a splinter

Sharp deep within

A race to win

How quick can we get to the spring

Rain falls

Then the snow to make snowballs

Our shadows can be seen through the polished  mirrors of ice

A swan on the lake

Struggles with the drake

Poking holes in the  frozen water for food

Do they get frustrated or in some kind of bad mood

Red robins sing

Carol bells ring

Candles burn a glow

Rivers are frozen still which in summer will flow

Bracken branches point in disbelief

Waiting for a sign of a leaf

Flowers have gone to bed for the season

Simply because it’s too cold

Though they don’t  need a reason

Homeless lay still in the night

As though bleeding

Forrest animals come to our rescue for feeding

Flame coloured foxes find refuge in our yard

We are warm in our houses

Out there must be so hard

 Our pathways are covered in frosty flakes

The season brings marzipan cakes

And decorative Christmas trees

This is what winter means to me

In the park there are two skaters twirling

Forming marks so swirling

Blades of ice

Sounds to slice

Laughter as they fall to a kiss

Rosy cheeks

Shivering lips speak

Telling of winter tails

Hovering icicles hang from houses

Wrapped up well in our  coats and winter trousers

Wools of bobbinned hats

Scarves and mittens

In the street is a snow white kitten

Lovers cuddle as they are smitten

Winter warmth is in their hearts

Ambers simmer in our hearths

Fires toast the bitter nights

Reflections of winter can be so nice

 

TODAYS THOUGHTS

We really need conservatory furniture, but just don’t know how to go about it. I was all up for going to a furniture shop and just choosing normal sofa’s, but Hub said he would not dare  do that without sighted help. I really am not afraid of that kind of thing, though when I phoned the furniture shop up, they were not really very helpful on the phone,  so God knows what they will be like in the shop. I can see Hub and I stotting off the glass tables and knocking over the lamps, they use for decoration.

Our teen will not go anywhere with us. I just don’t understand it. It breaks my heart. He was not brought up like that. He is a very caring person, but will not do anything with us. We wanted to go to a pantomime, he would not go, we want to see a Christmas film, he won’t do it, I just don’t know why, he says it’s because he is a teen and it is not cool to be out with your parents. But he is clever enough to know that we really need help at times and to be honest, I would like to have him around with us as we are a family. Well I try for that to happen.

Is there anyone out there who is in the same boat? Or are your kids OK to be out with you. He says when he is in  his twenties, he will take us anywhere. Until then?

I tell you, I wish I could see, our life would be so different.

Our street is really quiet and has been since Christmas day. It is really odd? I remember the days when kids used to all be out on their new  bikes or roller blades. Not now, everything has batteries or wires. That  is one reason why kids are overweight. As for the parents? Haha haha.

OK, tomorrow, I will send for some blades. Imagine the headlines?

 “Blindy on blades bursts through the bank, with her empty tin of cheesy balls!”

To some of you, that will not make sense, unless you read yesterday’s blog, if you did read yesterday’s blog, OK, that may not have made sense either? Hahahahaha

I did a mammoth load of ironing today  listening to my new IPod, or as I call it to my teen and it annoys him as his Mum is being so silly, my peapod.

Well I loved it, dancing with sounds in my ears, the only thing is, I can’t hear my ironing. That will not make any sense to you if you can see, but when you can’t see, you need to hear your ironing. No it doesn’t talk to  me, but I can hear the steam and where the iron is when it is on the board.

When I had finished my work, I went to go into the kitchen from the conservatory and found the door was closed. The kitchen door to the hall was closed and the living room door was shut too! When I asked Teen why? He said because he could not stand the dreadful noise that was coming from the conservatory.

OK, I was singing, but did not know how loud, as had my earphones on and could not hear my voice either? Ha, they, could!

My teen had his first proper shave today. Bless him, I think he has the beetroot look?

Well less than a week before I get my new  puppy guide dog. Oh, I feel sick with nerves. Three dogs in the house? Our house is small and I really will find  it a challenge. Also four weeks of hard work training with her. Every day, even weekends.

I will keep a diary and let you know how I get on.

Well my friends I will go for now but I really love us all been friends in this blog family together. Oh, I have decided what to make for Teen’s girl coming on Monday. I will tell you later. With love

 

CHEESY BALLS IN THE BANK

CHEESY BALLS IN THE BANK

Good morning my Bloggets, I hope this finds you all well? If not, I pray you will feel better by the end of this, or the end of the day?

It is six in the morning here. I just can not have a night where I sleep more than two hours. I hate it, I dislike bed immensely. My chest is tight and I am so stressed at the minute. Hub keeps talking about the fact that he may lose his  job in the new year and though it would  mean  he would be home and I would see him and have a normal life, I do worry about finances. I also know he would be just dreadfully unhappy not working, as he is a  workaholic. He has so many qualifications and three degrees diploma’s and so on but would really struggle in finding work. Crazy, but being blind is not a good place to be when job hunting, it limits ones choices. Then when he finds work that will be suitable, they say he is over qualified for the job. I am 99% sure he will not be out of work, as he is just too good at his job.

Well, after yesterday’s awful day, where Hub and I woke up full of hell, both of us telling our friend we don’t want to hear from him again and Hub getting very angry with teen, rightly so by the way as  teen was in the wrong, I have calmed down a little and can see some fun in yesterday’s venture in the town.

It was an awful day the town was packed of course it would be and we did get lost, but we did find the bank in the end. God it was a nightmare though. I blooming hate being blind. Everything is so difficult and stressful. Makes me wonder why we are punished in such a way?

But when we did get to the bank, Hub with his £300 coat on and a tatty old rucksack on his back, carrying a tub of coins we have been saving for a year. Getting into the bank, via a book shop that had a closed / locked door, being told by a what I was sure was a tramp, we were trying to get into a locked book shop the right way for the bank, well, his description was “up that way!” Very helpful, not. Bless him, at least  he tried to help? Hahaha. Well when we found the bank, an assistant told us the machine that counts your coins, was out of order. Hub said “Well can you fix it?” They said no, I asked if someone could count it by hand, I knew that would get a  reaction, she told us that the machine had been out of order for a while, I thought that they were waiting for a specialist to fix it, oh, no, they just needed someone to empty the thing. Someone from their bank, someone called Dawn. Well, I asked will Dawn empty it?  The answer was, “Oh, well, I will ask her!” I thought, Please do, as we are not leaving till we get rid of the brick in the bag.

Well we had some banking to do and this poor girl could be heard in the background asking everyone if they could empty the  blooming machine? No one wanted the job, not even  Dawn, but in the end after we did our finances, we told the rather stupid man who did not know his left from his right, we would wait until we got our money in the counting machine. In other words, we were there to stay.

Soon  Dawn came to the rescue and suddenly there was a blooming queue formed at the machine that had been relieved.

Of course we needed help as there were inaccessible buttons to push. Well a queue formed behind us, my Black beauty had found a person to pet her as she was tied to my left hand and the process began. The girl got down on the floor with my Hubs cheesy balls tin. Hahahhahahah. Yep, we had took the money to the bank in a tin of what was cheesy balls. The girl was on her knees laughing at that fact. It’s not every day when you can say you took an empty  tin of cheesy balls to the bank!

Well, how stupid could the day get? Rather. The machine threw out £2 coins. The girl looked up and said, “Oh, yes, the machine never has liked £2 coins?” Why was that my Hub dared to ask, considering we collected 80% £2 coins in our tin! Answer? Ready for it?

“Oh, well, some of them are shiny!”

 “Right, that explains it!

Well then my lovely BB found the door and I confidently found the right way to go, turning to the right for two  steps, then thinking to myself,

“Fiona, what are you doing? So I then let my Hub take over as I did not have a clue where to go. I don’t know how he does it. There are no obvious kerbs or sounds in our town and the people from guide dogs said they hardly train people to  do our town because of that reason.

Oh, God, bear with me, my Canary, Irish of course, has just said good morning and though it is a gentle start to the day he will find his voice after his cup of tea, well, his sip of water.

It is still dark but he is such a happy little soul he sings in the dark too.

I find it so cute how he has a volume control on him, how he starts off so quiet and at nights he is quiet too but through the day, he is ear splitting.

He has a volume control, but only he can control it. Sadly. Not us!

Anyway, back on track, we found our bus stop really well. Hub was great, then we were told by a very nice lady that our bus was there as she asked us what number we were waiting for. She got on the bus after us and sat behind us. She was talkative and very nice, though deaf.

We could tell in the way she  spoke that she could not hear and she turned right around to chat with me, as though to read my lips. It was rather odd though this face appearing from nowhere, upon my shoulder.

But she was so lovely as are most of the people in our town. The bus drivers are really lovely. Where I used to live in Northumberland, the drivers were just dreadful. They had their personality and brains removed at birth. Though the people back home, were the best.

So we got back safely to have a row with our teen that was a bad ending to the rather stressful day, but at least we managed to do to some what would be an easy task.

And we brought our cheesy ball tin back to start the saving for another year.

 

TORN BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Torn By Fiona Cummings

Inside out and upside down

My sunny smile is now a frown

Ripped to shreds

Taking to my bed

Live in silence not a sound

A spinning world

A lonely girl

Veins bleed from the cut glass

Painful pockets form a cast

Around my mind

Light I can not find

I want to unwind

But the noose is getting tighter

I want to feel lighter

But hell weighs me to the ground

Crushed by life’s acid drops

Like a season of flooded crops

Poison flows

Dripping in through my cuts

Though the pain does not show

To be happy is a must

I ache to dream of summer days

I try but it’s all a haze

 

NOT A GOOD DAY

Well our teen got home last night at last. He said, he did not know where the time went. It flew. I guess I can understand, At his age, I stayed out until two in the morning with boyfriends, my Mum never complained or said she was worried. It was the  day before mobiles too. His mobile phone, was on mute and did not have vibration on.  Hmm!

Anyway, he got home and no bus was needed as the girlfriends Mother, kindly brought him back. She did not come in, as it was after half ten, but she would have had a look where we live, to see if we are good enough for her daughter. Teen said she was very nice and what a wonderful life they have. They have a house keeper,  don’t you know? Hahahahaha. So does our house, it’s called wife/Mum.

He had a very nice fish for dinner bought at a lovely shop, where the finest meals are prepared.

What are we going to have next Monday when she comes here?

I woke up today feeling the need to tell my smoking friend that I did not want to see him again, so I text him and I knew he would get it at work. He did and he replied with a nice text. We are not seeing each other again. He was nasty once too much on the phone the other day and to be honest, he has changed so much, I can’t be bothered with him any longer. I do feel for him, as I know he had a tough year but have we all not? The difference is, I don’t take it out on my friends.

Well, Hub and I went to the town today and it was awful. The amount of people was just crazy. Where is the recession? We got lost, our Long chops took us to the pastry shop. We wanted to go to the boring bank. I would have loved to have hit the sales, but impossible.

I hope next year to have found a very kind volunteer to do that with. I love shopping so much.

After only being down one street wrong, we asked and found our way. In the bank, it was like a free for all. A nightmare of people were in there and the staff were all like zombies.

It took us over an hour to find it and then back on the bus. We had people backing into us and not moving out of our way, so our  dogs were really struggling to find their way through the gaps and my poor Black beauty, had enough and gave up working half way through and started to do her Gramma’s shopping trolley impression.

One of those shopping bags you pull behind you. That was my dog today.

The locals of our town are really helpful and kind and if  they are over the age of fifty five, they

 are so helpful.

So a lady told us our bus was in and on we got. It was packed too! Home to find a very lazy teen. I had asked him to  do a couple of jobs whilst we were out, but half of one got done and when I asked him what he had done, he told me text and listened to music.

No homework either, so our household got a little tense.

Not a good day

Sitting on my own missing my family. They are all over the house, both upstairs. I really wish everyone could get on I wish my teen would realise how important education was? I also wish he would be a little more helpful in the house.

Oh well, another day tomorrow! x

HAY THERE SOUTHKOREA

Welcome to South Korea today who joined us. Oh later I have a blog about our smoking friend. Going off to town now so wish us luck, when I get back I will tell you about our day and the message we sent to our X friend. xxxxxxx

PARENTING

OK, my teen left in good time, earlier than he wanted. I told him to as I  said you never know if the bus will be late? Thankfully he took notice of me and did so. He called me and said  he was pleased he listened to me as his bus had broken down and he was in a street waiting for a replacement.  So he was  to go to his girlfriend’s house,  to meet with his pretty posh girl’s Mother. In the grand house with the rich parent and I guess to be  grilled on his intentions for her daughter, as if I was the girl’s Mother, I  too would be worried.

She is a beautiful tall slim blonde with a good brain, at the start of her exams. Not sure this is a good time to be in love. Anything in the way of her education, may prove to be an obstacle.

Well that was many hours ago. Now it is almost eleven and he is not home. He was told to be home by half past nine. I know he is almost sixteen, well, in three months, but he still has curfews. It is in the middle of town too. Oh I feel sick with worry. He has his phone off, or there is no reception. The busses are off soon for the night too! I just wish I knew he was OK?

I know her name, do  not know her Mother’s name. I don’t know the address either. Oh what has gone on? Where is he?

My Hub says the Mother will give him a lift at this time of night, but I am sure she won’t. I would arrange a taxi home, if I could get through to him!

So now my heart is pounding and I feel so sick. I am  imagining  all sorts.

Hub is more positive and says  if the Mother is making a dinner, it may have gone on longer than we thought, but he would always contact me, he knows what I am like, so now I am going to go and clean up and try to keep busy. Really this is awful.

The poem I wrote below, is for older friends who have been married for quite some years. As for Hub and I we have only been married for three years, though have known one another since we were six.

OK, will let you know how Teen got on, when I find out myself.

Take care my friends x

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

Happy Anniversary  By Fiona Cummings

 

You took my hand in yours

From that day I walked through opened doors

Into rooms of full blooms

Dreams and magical themes

We took a knife

And sliced our wedding cake

Man and wife

How far we have travelled

 From that first date

Tough decisions we have had to make

And happy memories we do share

By my side you are always there

To know you love me

To know you care

We have spoken of tragedy

And sang in harmony

Faced wars as though we are in the military

And stood on ceremony

 When we have had to behave

Together held on to each other

When we have needed to be brave

We will love one another forever

And we made our home our place

Your youthful looks

Have been replaced

With loving laughter lines

Upon your face

Your exciting grand entrance into a party

  Has turned into a presence of grace

I now wear warm cosy knitted jumpers

Rather than dresses of lace

But we have  stood the time

And you are still mine

I no longer care about fashion

But I think about being comfortable

I remember the passion

Now I’m happy with a cuddle

As long as there is you and me

I want to say Happy Anniversary

TURKEY BROTH

Well Christmas has gone for another year. A month of preparation over so quickly, though we do have the lovely food left and chocolate, as well as looking at the beautiful things we received. Oh on the night of Christmas day, I was handed a box my Hub said he got from America. I  opened it and inside was the most well wrapped stunning ornaments. Beswick Beatrix Potter characters. Well, it’s not only, that I collect them, or the fact that I love  them, but it is where they came from, who they came from! My very generous borrowed family from the US. The beautiful ornaments were my  stolen Dads and between him and his lovely  wife, they kindly sent Hub them when he was in the US and Hub kept them for me for Christmas.

Oh, I  will treasure them for life. They mean so much to me, because of whom they came from and the history, that will live with me and be passed on to my teen as he knows where they are  from and what they mean to me. They are safely behind safe glass now, looking very cute and my lovely family forever will live on through, Benjamin Bunny, Mrs. Tiggy Winkle  , Squirrel Nutkin and all of the other beautiful animals Potter created.

Teen getting ready to meet with the posh girl now. It will take him two hours. He is meeting for dinner with her Mother tonight. It is our turn to reciprocate on Monday night. Glad she is first, so I know what to cook. I tease my Son and say I will cook beans on toast.

She is a very posh girl and goes to elocution classes and  has a private tutor. Our teen is on his way there soon for dinner. He really likes her so this could be heart ache for him. Oh to be a teen again? No thank you!

I swear, our dog, my Black beauty, has just sang the nursery rhyme, “Three blind mice? She is breathing so loudly these days. It was perfect pitch and in the tune of the rhyme. Hahahahaha.

Well I will go for now and need to prepare vegetables for Hubs turkey broth he is going to make. The stock is ready and the dogs are going crazy with the smell of it. Even as a vegetarian like me, I must say, it does smell rather lovely.

Take care till later my friends. xxx    

FLYING AWAY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

FLYING AWAY BY FIONA CUMMINGS

In the arms of an angel

I was lifted high

His kiss is like ice

Fresh from the sky

 tears turn into crystals

I don’t know how or why

Clouds formed soft cushions below

Like a magical marshmallow pillow

The sun turned the snow into fresh milk

And where we landed was ribbons of silk

We ate winter berries

And pink little fairies

Danced to my angel playing a harp

Stones and rocks became like chocolate drops

Not at all rugged and sharp

Frozen grass blades blew in the breaze

Blooms of yellows grew on the trees

The ice capped rivers melted so blue

Echoed words whispered “I love you

I wanted to ask my angel what was his name

He was so perfect like a picture in a frame

I looked into his eyes

but they were not there

though I just knew he had a see through stare

I read his face

He wanted to care

I touched his heart

He would always be there

But we had to part

Though only in sight

He taught me a lesson

To keep up the fight

He said I had to go on

Though my suffering would not last too long

As he would clear the pathway for me

To help me to see

What is the best route to go

Shovelling up the snow

Sweeping away the autumn leaves

Clearing the overgrown foliage from summer

And sleeping daffodils from spring

Hearing clear sounds of the church bells which ring

 Giving me the miracle of seeing within

Souls from the past and friends who will last

Knowing what to say each and every day

Oh I will never forget the  time we flew away

CHRISTMAS DAY IN THE HOUSEHOLD OF FIFI AND THE FAMILY

I woke up in my Husbands arms. Always a good start. He gently said to me,

“I’m so glad  you have woke at this point?” I thought, I have woke  up, but I am not awake. I smelt the darkness from the window above our heads. I asked still in slumber, why was he glad I awoke? He told me to listen. I did, I thought it was our Canary, Irish, of course! Then I heard it sing a song of pure winter icicles. Hub whispered to me it was a a Christmas robin. My dear Mums favourite bird. Oh the song was delightful. What a sound, what a song? What a start to a Christmas day?

I smiled and we fell asleep for another hour then all woke up together. Hub took a shower as I had another five minutes on the Crisp Christmas morn.

Then Teen came into our room and Hub shouted from downstairs, “He’s been!” Yes, Santa knew of our new address as we were not here last Christmas.

Hub came back upstairs and we opened our stockings together.

Oh, so many chocolates and candy. Lots of nice smellies and silly little gifts. But the best thing in my stocking, was a werewolf bear! Hub put it there helping Santa out of course, as he loves helpers, as he is a busy man. Hub told me he bought two, but he could not remember which one was pink, and which one was blue. Teen got the pink one. Hahahahahaha. I said  I would swap it but teen loves pinks so hay ho!

You squeeze it’s hand and he howls and lights up. Hahahahah. From our local shop, I am sure left over from Halloween, but so cute.

So after seeing what  Santa had filled our stockings with, it was time 

 to move on downstairs. Oh from the wonderful day  I had the day before, with preparing the Christmas dinner and getting the table ready for our Christmas lunch, talking to my borrowed American Mum and stolen Dad who are still on holiday in Mexico and my best friend on the phone, I had a lovely Christmas eve and now it was time to enjoy the day.

Wow, it was great. I got the best gifts. I loved everything, my mad aunt had bought her funny offering for Hub, some crazy boxers. Teen had the house smelling like a cosmetic store and I got the most lovely black leather gloves from my little boy for when I am training with my new puppy and Hub ruined me with amazing perfumes and an IPod. Oh help me out here? I am rubbish with technology so see how I go with touch screen, that scares me. Oh I got  the most beautiful scarf from my American/English parents. My borrowed  US Mum and English husband. My friend got me a stunning ornament of a carousel horse on a plinth. The colours are cream, turquoise and pink. Oh, I love it so much. My teen was delighted with his new IPhone and first razor. He only needs to shave once a week with him being so blonde, but Hub felt proud to have given him it. Teens natural father, my X, phoned the teen to try and spoil his day, it could have done if I had not calmly shown my teen some love, I did and we all had lunch and pulled crackers and wore our silly hats from the crackers, Teen told the silly jokes from the crackers and we had some delicious Bucks Fizz. Oh we ate till we hurt, ha.

Watched some great Christmas films and when a tiny bit of room was discovered in our stomachs, we put some chocolates in there. It was lovely.

I put my lovely new slippers on and candles were lit and what a lovely day.

My teen was upstairs  for ages  I asked him what he was doing, he replied he was cleaning his sink……why? So he could put all of his products on the tiles around the sink. Well later when I checked it, he had cleaned all the surrounding tiles around the sink and placed his Christmas stuff on there but his actual sink? OMG?

A row in the street was heard about a teen who had took three hours to get ready to go to relatives, hahahaha. But apart from that, a beautiful day.

        

BLACK BEAUTY'S LAST CHRISTMAS

Well if you read yesterday’s blog, you will know how anxious I was as Teen  was out with his girl,  Hub out with Long  chops to the Cathedral and I was to go to our church. I was terrified. I felt sick. I really really felt I had to do it and Hub said if I didn’t he was not going to the Cathedral, and I know how much  that meant to him. So talk about pressure? I also wanted to see my lovely friends there at the church. Like the girl from my old home town, who is so lovely and really wish I could get to know more. I knew I would see my faithful funny Welsh friend and the kind warm man who runs the church. There were others I wanted to see as well, as they all won’t know how much my life has changed over the past few months. I of late have been losing my nerve about going out, even though I have had huge support from two of my friends from school. Well, one of them, was not a friend at school, the opposite actually, but since we have left school, we get on so well now. Whenever we are together, we have a laugh and she is a lovely friend now. I think it has a lot  to do with my personal life and the fact that my Black beauty of a guide dog has had me in the middle of a busy road, with a bus coming one way and a car the other. I did not know which way to go, left, or right, Was I in the middle? The sounds were all around me, the noise of the puddles were like vast waterfalls as when in fear, everything sounds different and it is difficult to judge. Cars were coming and the bus was not slowing down. How did I know it was a bus? You can tell by how deep and heavy it is on the road. It makes a dull deep engine noise. Sometimes I get it wrong and it is a truck.  Hub never gets it wrong, he is amazing he can tell when we are passing lamp posts and everything like what is on the path, by the sounds.

I was dizzy and everything was going through my mind, like  “I was about to be killed and who would look after my loved ones. My poor dog would be really in so much pain before she died and so much more, it was really awful. I could go left and be hit by the car, right and be hit by the bus. I froze, but as the cars were coming too, would they overtake? Thank God they didn’t and I waited with my guide dog close to me as she went into a massive panic I kept her right close to me, trying to protect her as much as possible. The cars van, and bus drove on their way and I just walked to the right as far as the bushes, then I knew I was at the edge, but we typically,  had gone down a side road, so had lost the route completely, Oh it was just a nightmare. I was so  scared. How would I get home? Where was home? Teen at school, Hub in Thailand. Thank God, I have a couple of numbers now from  church, but I used my ears and inner map and  with the  help of my little dog, who was in a  state herself, we got home. I have had a couple of bad days with her, but that was the worst. Thank God I have a new pup coming and I pray she will work out for me?  

I got home that day, my BB, was exhausted. I tried to call Hub but he was busy abroad I contacted my best friend and sat and shook, cried a bit and wished for sight. Pathetic I know, but really I am not a strong person. I am a coward. But my hub pointed out to me the other day how I have changed. Silly little tell tail things, like we went to a shop a couple of days ago, just local, and I told him to stay outside the door and I would pop in. I would have never done that also I had to pick up a prescription from the doctors and I said to him, as the door is really hard to find, as it is one of those doors, where there are loads of windows at each side of the door, so the poor dog does not know where to take you, Hub agreed to wait at the door, whilst I went to the reception, and picked up what I needed. Hub stood there and just said “OK!”  So I knew where the door was. He said I would have never done that some months ago. He is right. As for church yesterday? I put on my clothes for church and found my lovely earrings hub bought me when we first met. I felt really tearful, as I do at  Christmas, as I really think you should not be alone at this time of year, and I was. I still was unsure I would make it to the top of our drive.

It was dark outside and the  wind was howling, this makes it really hard to  find where we need to go, as sounds are muffled.

I opened the front door. Blackness followed me out and darkness met  with me.

I wanted to turn the key and go back in, but I would feel a failure. I really did not want to do that walk. I shook inside. My fingers rested gently on the dogs harness, but I wanted a hand to hold. Someone to tell me it would be  OK.

“Would she do it? Would she find the gap in the grass? Would she stop at the kerb? She did, now, would she turn in at the right place for the pathway to church? She did!

Kevin met me, he is so warm and the father of the lovely little girl with the questions, I have written about before. She of course was there again and was as sweet as ever. Jacquie sat next to me, she was so very considerate, telling me little things, like when to stand, it’s not always obvious? I did not see my homey but Welsh friend was there, he  never ever misses saying hello. He is so clever and talented too as he wrote a great poem for a child to read in church and we sang carols. Everyone was given a candle to hold but I declined, hahaha. Can you imagine the headlines?

Right through the service, I just thought of the route home. Would we do it? I thought of my son and Hub. Hoping he was OK an  missed them so much. I had no time to think of my poor friends who would for the first time be without their loved ones this year, but for sure spend all other hours thinking about them. I did think about my best friend, I wanted to tell him I did it, as I knew he would offer encouraging words to me bless him? He is such a kind friend and him and his wife are lovely people with their own world to live through at this time of year.

We came out of the church, I felt awful, as wanted to stay for a cup of tea, but was too scared. So I walked home, BB got me all the way, they have cut down the bushes now, so we don’t poke our eyes out on the overhang, but we also do not know if we are in our street, as  it’s all bare.

Were we in our street? It was busier than normal, well, I was sure we were not, but then I heard the wind chimes and knew it was my garden.

She did it, she really did it. What a little star, as I really did loss my nerve and my BB, has to be told every move. I can do the same route every day and she still has to be told every turn. Not last night, yes we went over grass, muddy grass, so she did not find the pathway gap, but we blooming well did it. My little Black beauty, her last Christmas in a church before she gets her harness removed. Oh that is so sad?

Well, now Hub has Classic FM on, he is singing to the carols and he is  in the kitchen preparing all the meet for tomorrow. He will clean the kitchen, and I will go in to do vegetables. The house smells of stuffing’s and herbs. Teen is out again with girl but to be back before tea. I will light my candle tonight and bless those in pain and alone, also those who are facing a Christmas out of their houses as the floods here in the UK, are just dreadful and about seven thousand houses have been evacuated.

I will hope for lots of laughter and family time for those who are rich enough in life’s Patten to have such a wonderful experience and hope for those in heaven to have a lovely Christmas, knowing we on earth, are happy. With love as ever my dearest Bloggets. x