Good morning from England.
Germany, I love seeing as many of you viewing each day. Are
you a school? I do wonder as suddenly there are at least 15 views each day
normally from Germany, I have two or three Bloggets per day. Austria, not seen
you for a while, so great to have you back and Mauritius, at first I thought
you were someone on holiday, but if so, it’s a very long holiday. Smile.
America, Australia, Canada and so many countries this week are returning or
have never gone away. For this I am so grateful.
I have stepped down from some of my volunteering. The
biggest part, that was taking up so many hours per week and I wasn’t able to concentrate
on my writing, and seriously, I need a kick up the butt to get me knocking on
doors. I just want a hand to push me along in the right direction, you have
heard of writer’s block? Well I don’t have that, but I have writer’s
application block. I just can’t seem to contact publishers. It’s ridiculous. I
have so much work that I haven’t published on here and just need now a
publisher to contact me. Once I am shown the door, I have so many keys to open
all locks.
I feel awful that I am no longer doing that side of the
volunteering now, I hate myself, and knowing that I am letting people down is
killing me. I was the only person doing this work as the boss told me
yesterday, just to make me feel a bit more rubbish, now there is no one? Oh
awful. Well, soon they are going to employ someone for the roll so they will
get all the work to do. I am thinking about applying. I will have my few weeks
off to do what I need to do, then will go into the interview process with a
fresh outlook. Whether I get as far as an interview mind you, is another
question. I have been doing the job on my own for half a year and a full year
in total, I’ve been there. but there is a heck of a lot more to the actual
payed job involved.
This weekend I’m going to try to write my CV. My love won’t
help me, he says this is my baby, but he wants me to get the job… He can’t help
me; he is too honest in his occupation.
So, let me explain. I would be working in his office. Not
sure he would be my boss, I know he said if I ever got a job in his office, he
wouldn’t be able to manage me. He would have to get his under manager to do
that. He wouldn’t be able to discipline me… hahaha. Doesn’t stop him at home!
My Hub would normally be doing the interviews; this is the
huge problem I have. This is what has been on my mind for so long. Now I can
tell you.
My Husband started working for this organisation two and a
half years ago. The team were in difficulties. So let’s say, people left and
others stayed. Some who stayed got put into different roles. It took a long
time but now he has such a great team. His staff are so loyal and amazing. I
have so much respect for them. They have
not had an easy time. If I apply for the job, Hub won’t be able to interview,
well, he possibly could interview, but he said he won’t. I am sure there isn’t
a chance I would get this job. Even my loved one said me getting this job would
be the equivalent of winning the lottery. Hahaha. Such positivity going on in
Fifi Blogget house…
So I don’t get the job, don’t even get an interview, other
people have to do the interviews, what if someone gets employed who won’t fit
in? oh then it would be my fault. Gosh, I feel so conflicted. If I don’t apply,
then Hub can interview, then again he will get someone who is going to do the
job and get on with everyone, as when Hub employs people, he always thinks of
the staff that person will be working with.
He really cares about his staff and I don’t want to get in
the way. The job will be a life changing experience for me for sure. In fact,
when I think about the role, I have this thought. Me sitting here now, fast
forward two months. Me then? It will be a totally different person. The best
thing, is it doesn’t scare me. I do wonder if that is because 99 per cent of me
doesn’t think I will get the job? Or is it, I know that I can do this job or I
wouldn’t even entertain going for it. I’m very passionate about the
organisation and I wouldn’t stop until I had the best results. But going on
trains, with Wagga, stop right now…. Heck, The Wagging one wouldn’t know what
was going on smile. Em, getting off trains? Finding that blooming door, being
able to stand up without feeling as if I’m going to faint with fear? Getting
from taxis into buildings Oh it’s a challenging thought, but, once in the
buildings, gosh I will blow them away with my enthusiasm and ability to talk to
them to change their minds, sign contracts and get the best out of the
situation. Organising people, no trouble. I have done a lot of that in my
volunteering already, group organising as far as phoning people up trying to
get them to join us an attend events, asking schools and so on to get involved,
so I can do that. I can do the job, and I would be really good at it just the
transport terrifies me, but, not enough to not apply and who knows I may one
day get used to travelling on my own, I may become a super blindie like my
friend Though I doubt it. I think I will always be afraid of being out on my
own, anyway, please God, or scientists, in five years I will have some sight?
Please? Let’s see what the research does.
I’m so excited. I’m buzzing. I want to be someone; I really
know I have the brain for it. In fact, my brain is desperate for exercise.
Since seventeen I have been a housewife. I never before thought I could be
anything else. But now I have fire in my belly. Mind you, I am safe in my
house, but the funny thing is, Hub and I were talking about going somewhere
last night, somewhere in the future, he said we would get a taxi, I said no, I
wanted to do it vie bus. Well, half and half. Taxi there and bus back. He went
quiet. Probably thinking, oh no, I have to keep watching out for my lost puppy
Fifi. But in my head I know the route. I’m like a homing pigeon. I can always
get back. Hub and I are such a team. He has no fear he does get tense though,
but with his dog, he goes everywhere without a problem. Just around our town,
but still he does it. Me, I can’t do that kind of thing, but with Hub I know
how to get us home. Though it is
dangerous. In fact, ridiculous. If I was watching me in a movie, I would shout.
No… Stop… Stay in your house woman.
So let’s see how the application form goes and if it’s accessible.
Oh the other reason I do have reservations is because I know one of my friends
is going for it and I don’t want to step on her toes. She can see so she has an
advantage. She also works for the organisation so it would be unfair for her
not to get it. Mind you, if she leaves her current position, the office would
suffer, as she is great at her job. I really like her and do think, how dare I
even think I can compete with her and the likes?
We will see. Even if I don’t get an interview, at least I’m
thinking in the right direction.
If I do get an interview, I think I will pass out with
shock. Let’s hope I pass out before I get there, like two days before? Smile,
imagine the scene. Fifi turns up, my name is called, and I do an impression of
a carpet?
OK will go for now, the noise is dreadful here. Our nasty
pasty bin cleaner is across the road cleaning out the bins and my window is
open, my adorable Son has now got up his music is going crazy, yep, he’s back.
Last night I went for a bath and had to pick up his clothes from the floor and
his shoes laying in the porch rather than in the shoe cupboard… But the house
is complete again. Our family of five are back, missing our lovely canary
though still. Really thinking about getting another…. Until later from me to
you with love and I guess the message in this blog is, from someone who for
over twenty years hid away, kept life to herself, now is writing blogs to about
140 viewers per day and is applying or thinking about it, for a job… Still I
have days where I want to lock doors and sleep, but most days are sunny now
thank God. Though still have so far to go. X
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