TOSSING AND TURNING

Good morning it’s sunny I’m waiting for our groceries to be delivered. Excited I have our Son a new duvet cover. How sad am I?

 

My friends get a thrill about their latest holidays or pamper days, I am looking forward to my Son having a new bed cover.

 

Yep, that sums me up.

 

A quick blog for now as I have just been writing to my friend and I told her what I will tell you. My dog is running around with the noisiest toys in the world for dogs. On our wooden floor and it’s so loud I can’t hear my computer. I am also deaf in my right ear I hate that. I also don’t want to go to the Doctors as you have to wait to get an appointment for the hospital. It’s wax for Goodness sake. But they don’t see to it at the GP’s now it’s the hospital. And really, you should see the machine they use? Oh my word. It’s like stepping back fifty years. The nurse used to do it but not now.

 

Yesterday’s pancake Tuesday was lovely. My Son made me them for breakfast. The start of spring which means the door to summer. Great, can’t wait.

 

Spring is a new beginning for so much. I remember it was the first long holiday from horrid, boarding school. It also was the only holiday I used to get at home. As most other holidays were spent receiving treatment in Russia. Oh I will never forget the feeling of the sun on the back of my hair in our normally gloomy dorm. As I packed to go home. The sounds of nasty house staff along the corridors and girls full of feelings I never quite understood, either with trepidation of what was to come as a lot of them were from broken families and were not wanted by their parents. Shut away in boarding school like a shamed badly behaved dog in kennels.

 

Sadly this happened to someone my Son knows. Her Mother did the same. She found a new man and her daughter got in the way, well in our case, our eyesight was the demon. Parents couldn’t cope. But some girls were happy to be leaving. I never understood the ones who didn’t want to go home? My Goodness, their lives must have been dreadful if they preferred our school.

 

Beneath my feet I would feel the paper thin carpet that had been there so long you would have to scrape it from the floorboards

 

The thick wallpaper stank of dampness as heating was a treat.

 

The bedding was from the war. World war one.

 

Nasty scratchy blankets and sheets that had been washed too much and were threadbare.

 

Packing my case for how long? Sometimes I never knew if at the end of a holiday I would be off to Russia or hospital in London. My parents and I never really communicated.

 

But I at Easter was to go home. A clean bed. Warm house. So much food. Chocolate and daffodils filled our house. My now crazy aunt would visit and as I have said before, she was the sunshine in my life.

 

Mum would dye eggs and life for just a short while was pleasant. Though at the back of my mind, I had to return to the hell of vindictive, violent, vicious and  

Villainous crime making me a victim from a virtuous past and mind-set life.

 

I think Easter is a time that people are so happy the winter is over and a glance of hot sun puts smiles in people’s voices. It was the best holiday I have ever had too as I have told you before. We went to visit our lovely wonderful friend’s yam and DD. Oh how I loved that holiday. I can’t even bring myself to telling you about it again as it’s  a memory in my head that can’t come out to talk as I don’t want to lose it and Sadly it can’t happen again as they have moved to Mexico now. The place they lived in America was a dream. A dream I never want to wake up from.

 

A time in life I can’t ever repeat. An age I sadly can’t be anymore.

 

I am eternally grateful for that happy memory in my life.

 

My friend I was writing to before was that person I stayed with together with my Son and at that time newly married Husband.

 

So my Son made me laugh yesterday as I told him like I do every year the story of pancake Tuesday how we are to use up all foods before lent in our pancakes. Empty cupboards as they did in the olden days. He laughed and said

 “Mum, you, buy things in for pancake Tuesday.” Oh, yes, how right he is. How times really have changed.

 

But still the sun shines and still we have daffodils to look forward to and then they will be followed by summer fragrances.

 

With love.