Good day Bloggets how do I find your health and wellbeing’s
today?
As for me, well, gosh, where to start? I got up with Hub
this morning at seven and had the worst pain in my chest. I had it the other
day too and I am thinking could it be the treadmill? Really I’m so unfit. But I
have not been stupid with it I have taken it easy. Then I went back to bed.
Thankfully Hub is fine with that and doesn’t expect breakfast in fact when I
make him it, he complains as he can’t eat before sitting in a car/taxi for over
an hour. Then I didn’t even hear him leave the house. Normally, I lay there
thinking, has he got his lunch, has he remembered his mobile phone? Did he lock
the doors? Is he going to be on time for work? Sometimes the taxi is ten
minutes late and I have to chase them up, so we have brought the times forward
by fifteen minutes so he is early most days now. But old habits dye slowly and
I still stress about it. Really, I need to learn how to meditate.
Today I fell asleep and was woken by Hubs text to tell me he
was at work safely. I couldn’t believe I had slept for over one hour? Me? In the
morning before I knew all was well? Yep. The pain was still there and you know
those days when you just don’t want to get out of bed? To face the same old
same old. House work dishes from A, to B. What to cook for tea, and see to the dogs
make sure the bird are Okay just the normal things every housewife does. But
almost thirty years of it now, and before that boarding school jobs that were
so archaic.
Oh to have a day when I could wake up without a worry and
have breakfast cooked for me and to live in a mini palace without a care about
cleaning and to have a cook? Make the decision of what is to eat. Or at least
give me a choice? Haha. A girl can dream. I am not sure I could live like that
all of the time, but one day every now and then?
It was so late when I got up. My Son was even up. He was
downstairs and I hadn’t even heard him. I was in such a deep sleep I came
downstairs and my boy told me I looked beautiful. Floorless. Hahaha. Oh gosh,
really? Well, I tell you I believe in angels, and I am sure one visited me from
this morning to make me sleep like that and my pain is eighty per cent gone.
But then normality kicked in. I had to hunt for a card I bought a friend. It was
a special card. I really struggle with birthday cards. On line is not good. So
this card has disappeared. Really, I have hunted everywhere. I pulled out the
couch in the conservatory. Pulled our very heavy an yet small lamp table and
heavy speakers as that was where I was, when I last remembered the card. Well
all the furniture out, may as well vacuum where it has been. So much for me
taking it easy? But pain is still under control. I think it could be quinky
dinky as I walked into a door yesterday carrying a cup, whilst stupidly
drinking from it. And the cup went right in my chest by the time I jumped in
shock. Oh it hurt. I must knock into things ten times a day. This is what
people who can see don’t think about. It’s not just the fact we can’t see the
world, ourselves or anything, it’s the pain when we hurt ourselves like
dishwasher. Oh they are a blind person’s nightmare. You pull them down to fill
or empty. Walk away to put things away or collect more dishes and bingo. Wack.
Right into the door. I know of someone who took the door off in one collision.
I know of loads of people who are scarred too with dishwashers.
You know when you bump into things and it really hurts, like
when I bend down and bang my head off the kitchen counter or a draw half open,
or the worst when I hurt the bridge of my nose and it makes that crunch sound,
we can really feel sorry for ourselves. I am in a group for RP support and
every day there are pictures of damaged bodies.
I never really complain but this is one reason we really can’t ever have
a day without injury’s. Pain and discomfort. It’s like the evil is laughing at
us, not only we have been given faulty genes, but we have to suffer in so many
other ways. Well, I have to remember my angel. I wish I could meet with her. I
am sure she is a her. Just a feeling I get. This is perhaps where some Bloggets
close this blog and move on; well for them I shall stop and change the subject.
Angels are for those who have open hearts. As for my heart, heck, really, it
has been broken so many times, it’s in threads now. But still the threads work
and for that I am grateful.
It’s raining cats and dogs here. I love the sound of the
rain against my window. The birds love the worms in the garden. Well, I just
hope they take their dishes away as I don’t want any in my yard thank you…
Our eldest girl has promised to write us a poem. I am
looking forward to that, she is just well, and I honestly don’t know what word
to use for her talent. In her exam last year she received an A star for
English. Well I got an A for mine, but the difference between us is more than a
star. So I am looking forward to that so much and my little one is making jams
this week so Dear Sister Ann, one on its way for you.
Thirteen days before my big boys eighteenth birthday. I can
tell you I have him nothing. I am so stuck. Everything I suggest he says no
thanks Mum I need money for a car. Oh the car? Gosh, really, I am scared stiff
as every time he has been out of late, he has had near crashes. I will be ill
when it happens. His Father is a great driver, but having said that, he has had
loads of crashes in his life too. So how can he be good then? Well, easy, he’s
great until he loses concentration. Sadly that is teen. He’s an amazing driver
but goes into a world of his own. I feel
so bad that we can’t take him out for practice. I hate myself for that. I know
it’s not my fault, but still it’s a guilty feeling that my Son bless him has
never ever brought up in conversation. We even make him pay for all of his
lessons. I also hate that. It makes me cry. But how can I pay for him when I am
not the earner. My Husband says if we pay for him, we have to pay for our girls
too, I know this, and then with three children, it’s expensive. Having said
that, the amount of money my Hub pays to his ex I hope she is putting money
away for the girls to have those lessons. If I were getting half as much as he
pays his ex from my ex I would for sure pay for teen at least some lessons. He
is working so hard every hour he can and it’s being eaten up by driving
lessons. Okay, he doesn’t have to take them, but every young lad does. And if
the worst happens and he does have my eye disease then at least he has had some
experience in driving, something I have never been able to do, well, legally
anyway.
Bin night tonight, hahaha, Hub told me last week he looks
forward to bin night. Why? Because it’s one night before the weekend. At the end
of the week he gets so tired. Up just before seven and as well as his working
day over two and a half hours travel. But nothing in comparison to his old job.
Next week he is away for two days. Training days. Really I’m sure a waste of
time, but managers have to do it. I hate those days away. I a am sure apart from
it all being a waste of money, it’s an excuse for managers to mingle in a way
that is not suitable for married people.
An aeroplane has just gone over. The cars are whizzing by on
the road. But in the rare silence outside my window, I hear a single bird.
Sounds like a robin. Oh the song is stunning. Like water falling from glass.
Okay, I best get on with the day. I could write forever
today and talk with you all. It’s so lovely to know you are still reading these
blogs. I am still in shock about it. Over seventy thousand viewers now from
over sixty countries. I just pray that one day my work will be in books. I have
so much more to talk about things that would shock you and surprise you at the
same time. My life story is so different to anyone’s I have heard before. My
dear friend Yam wants me to write for children. I would love to write for
everyone. I know you have to start somewhere, but where? I am as passionate
about children’s writing as I am love stories and tragic poetry. Haha. Alright Bloggets,
now then, you have a good day, do something for you. Make yourself feel
pampered. Do a sin,. A sin to me is sleeping for an hour through the day. Oh I
love that. I feel so guilty and naughty like a child. But at the same time it’s
a great knowledge to feel like you have done something for yourself.
I will be back I hope you will.
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