SEEING INTO THE FUTURE

India, Spain, America, Germany, United Kingdom, Belgium, Portugal, Kenya, Netherlands and Canada are just some of my Bloggets who are reading today. How are you all? Well I left you early last night; early for us is ten in the evening. To go to bed as my Husband had to be up at 5a.m to catch a 6.a.m train, so to give him a chance to sleep. Well, he can sleep on a clothes line. Really, he makes me laugh. He will get into bed and say. “Oh, I doubt I will be able to sleep tonight.” 

Yeah, right, about three minutes later, the walls are rattling.

 

Me? Em, nope. I’m lying there forcing myself to close my eyes. Thoughts buzzing through my head, drilling into my skull like a workmen’s tool. I then put on my IPod, with earphones of course. After an hour I feel tired. I turn it off and about an hour later, I’m putting it back on after having no sleep at all. Well, fast forward some hours. Last night or this morning, it was half three before I remember feeling as though I was drifting off. That was after getting up and eating two apples. Haha haha. Yep, your Fifi Blogget is a strange one.

 

The alarm went off at five and poor Hub got up and ready, thankfully last night he put his bag together. He’s amazing he remembers everything. My ex had to be reminded about everything and I can tell I get on Hubs nerves when I do a check list with him.

 

 Well, as ever the taxi was late. But he got there on time.  He had to make a change too. I hate it when he does that. Just more for me to worry about. But again thankfully he managed and the last time I spoke to him by phone he was in a railway café with a coffee and a breakfast snack. As it’s a long day for him and his meeting wasn’t until ten so he would be an hour early, but the trains were fully booked as he found out yesterday for a later time.

 

He has taken his faithful Long Chops with him. She will be happy she is working. He has left her at home the past two days as she wasn’t too well at the weekend….

 

Oh but we had shirt gate before he left. I got him a shirt last night from the robe and he put it on today and he didn’t recognise it… Heck, I hope it’s not one of the girls? Hehehe Pyjama top? Oh my word. We just wouldn’t know, I must say when he wore it, I also didn’t recognise it. Our girls are tiny slim so I doubt it is theirs, but you never know? That is the the number one thing that really gets to me. Clothes. Sorting them out. I really can’t deal with it. I’m getting worse too. I think it’s because we have too many. It’s not too bad for me as I remember my clothes but for Hub? As especially because my friend Vivi buys him shirts. Mind you, they are almost always blue.

 

I was thinking last night whilst the workmen were doing their job inside my brain. Imagining if I was to get sight because of a fantastic breakthrough in some years to come?  The moment when bandages would be removed from my eyes. Gosh, would I be too afraid to look? What if the operation hadn’t worked? How would my emotions cope? I guess I would be alright. As I would be no different to now. Yes of course disappointed, but grateful that the medics were trying to do something. So I was stage one, Okay, bring on stage two…

 

So this time it worked. My eyes would open to a brand new world. Wow, I would see the face of the man who performed this life changing achievement. I would search the room for my Husband seeing on the way to him items in the room I have never been able to see, even when I was partially sighted. I probably wouldn’t recognise what the tools were. Then my Husband. Oh wow, what would he look like? As I’ve said before, last time I saw him he was twelve. We both were. Oh the thought of seeing him now? As for my Son? He was one when I saw him last. In five days, he will be eighteen. A man. How would my heart deal with such shocks? Gosh, the thought of all of that and that is before I got to a mirror? Looking at myself may finish me off. Hehehe. When I could see, I could never see my whole face in the mirror. Only parts of it. Like for example, I wanted to see my eyes, I would look to where I thought they were and be able to see one eye at a time and nothing around it. I would move around my face and in my mind, put it all together like a jigsaw puzzle!

 

So if I were to be given sight? I would be able to see my full face and even what is around it. Like what is in the room. Or a long mirror and I have to add wide, hehehe, my full body too? Really? How would this be? Gosh, really, it’s so far away this thought, it’s scary when you begin to analyse it all. But then after the shock, comes the living.

 

No more hiding away, no more fear of the outside world. No more summers stuck indoors. Picnics, parks, scenery streams, rock formations, birds bees and butterflies. Green grass. Colour green, yes, reminds me what is green? I have a vivid imagination of that colour, but when I think of it now, it’s almost grey. All my colours are turning grey. Red is one of the last colours I remember, oh, and blue. If I really think hard, yellow and purple. But fading they are so fading to the back of my mind.

 

It’s so weird to think of seeing again. As for a third of my life has been with closed curtains. But now my mind sees what’s before me. It’s so odd. I have pictures as though I can see, if I’m putting something in the microwave, I can see a microwave. Now sometimes I forget and see for example a red dish. I ask my Son to pass me the red dish as he is closer to it? He replies, Mum its blue. Blue? Really? Then I remember I had a red one the same some years ago. Before I lost my sight, but in my mind, the dish I would whisk things in, was red. All the time it was blue, but my mind’s eye saw a red dish. So a white microwave? Nope, it’s silver.

 

So I would go from my mind seeing, to my eyes again seeing, so I doubt it will be like turning on a light. I would have to teach myself everything again. Oh but I would make a great student, so please miracle man or woman, keep those experiments going and don’t give up the fight for sight?