OH MY GOD?

Oh what a great interesting day? OMG? Wait till I tell you this one?

So we got up early, ran as we heard the bus, sadly, the driver pulled away. I was annoyed, saying to Hub; wouldn’t you think he would have waited? I mean, we were a metre from the back of the bus, before he pulled away. Hub said

“Well, he may not have realised we were wanting his bus?

I said, well, what did he think we were doing? Going for a jog?

Anyway, the good thing about living here is that we never wait for more than fifteen minutes for a bus. About the time it takes a car to drive to the town, but never mind.

The bus came within ten minutes, so was fine.

We did our usual banking and pastry shop, then it was time for the challenge.

We wanted to look for a couch and carpet. OMG? Hahaha. Well, we found a shop, we thought was the shop we wanted. We walked in as LC, told us she had been there before and that  was the right one. We turned around and came out as we, thought it was not the right one. Then realised LC, had it right.

Back in again.

I walked to a voice. A voice sounding like a sales assistant. There were racks of shoes, followed by the makeup department.

A lovely young girl, so  tall and elegant lead us to  the lift.

In we went apart from I didn’t stop in time and crashed into the back of the lift, hahahahaha. I am such a pleb. Hub is so graceful, me, I am one speed Fi and everything has to happen yesterday.

Came out of the lift, and we were passed on to,  em, now then, how shall I put this?

 A member of staff.

Her name was Ivy. The young girl asked Ivy, if she would show us the sofas? Ivy, looked to us, looked to the  girl, and said in a terrified voice

“Oh oh em, yes, yes sure. The girl left us in Ivy’s  capable hands. I took her arm, and she froze to the floor. I kind of pulled her along, to try and encourage her. Well, just to move would be good?

She managed to weave us in and out of coffee tables with stunning vases on and floor orniments. LC’s tail was dusting the book shelves as we walked on.

The first sofa we sat on, was nice. I asked her what colours they came in.

She sat next to me and kind of lay back into the comfort of the couch.

Picking up a sample book next to her, she said the following

“Black, dark brown, grey oh, another grey, oh, and there is another grey. Red, quite a nice red. Blue. By the way, are youpartially sighted?”

I replied, no totally blind. She continued

“Green, cream, Brandy. Oh, I could just have one of those with my coffee right now!”

Well by the way, at that time, it was not even ten in the morning. Then she said a few other colours and then stopped to wipe down her  trousers. So we waited as she brushed down her clothes saying, Dam, I think my skin is falling off?

Yuck?

I thought what is her skin doing on her trousers? We got up from there and walked to the next couch. We sat down and she continued her humming tune. Hamm hmmmmm hmmmmm.

I felt the  wood as she told us the colours that came in, Hub asked what colour the wood came in.

She snapped at him and said,

“Hang on a bit, don’t you be so impatient, we are still doing colours for the leather?

Hahahahaha. Hub replied

“Oh I shall just go back to sleep then, she replied, you do that…

We got from there, and her humming continued.

We sat on couch number three. That was the best one. I asked how long did we have to wait if we bought that one? Then this all mighty voice shouted

“Curt?

Curt, how long before we can get this one in?

Then as Curt went to ring the suppliers in China, she mumbled under her breath

“Oh, He’ll tell us, Mr Blooming know it all?

Well, we did laugh, by that point, I thought to myself, she’s already been on the brandy in her coffee.

Then she shouts again, Curt?

Then again, mumbling

“Oh, look at him? If only you could see what he is like. God, we have no chance now in getting to find out, he’s found a bird….

Hahahahahaha. We laughed and she said, no, really, you don’t know how bad he is?

Then found out up to 16 weeks. God. Crazy? Dear flirty Curt, came and told us, we could have UK made sofa’s, but, A, they would be twice as deer and B no one would pay what they wanted so they bought in from China.

There   was a beautiful vase on a table. I asked how much was it? Ivy lifted it up, I thought, oh God, she is going to break it?

She put it down on the table and said,

“Free! There’s no price on it…

Then as we walked to the carpets, she told me she had a tickling stick, and she feels like tickling someone…

“O

K

I subsequently found out, she had a feather duster in her hands.

Don’t ask, I didn’t dare.

I wanted an apricot carpet. She said, God, well, could that be apricot? I guess it depends how ripe your apricot is?

Well, that finished Hub off. He laughed as he said to me, with my colour obsession

“Bet you haven’t got an answer to that one? Haha haha

How blooming  ripe is my apricot?

 “What?

She said she would ask Curt again. Oh, no, not Curt?

Then she said the best one

“I bet its blooming apricot prices? Hahahahah. She wasn’t wrong.£27 per square yard.

Needless to say, we didn’t bother.

Time to leave the jolly lady. Came out of the shop with her via the stairs, as she can’t do lifts. Her words.

She out of the blue, told me, she had just applied for her  very first passport. I laughed as she then said she didn’t know her lefts and rights. She married to learn her left hand, with her ring. But that didn’t work, she then divorced?. She said then, she had to get her passport for  Leeds. I said thinking, oh my God, this person thinks she needs a passport for Leeds? Half an hour away? Hahahaha. No, silly me, that is where the passport office is. She told me the man in the office, said he had never had such an interesting interview…. I bet he hadn’t?

I asked her who she was going on holiday with? Her answer? OK Bloggets, get yourself ready for this one?

Thompsons…

The holiday company.

I said, nooooooooo, what person, are you going on holiday with? You know those moments when you ask yourself, what did I ask this question for?

Her answer by the way,

“Oh, my husband….

What? She’s divorced.

She said, oh, no, this one is my second husband. He      also left me, but soon came back with his tail between his legs…

I asked where she was going on holiday? Answer?

Ibiza.

Hahahahaha.

Watch out night clubbers, that’s  all I am saying on the matter.

Well, we did get out of there in one piece.

Home safe in time for my lady to come… Later on that one.