FI'S FAT FILE (DAY 2)

Fi’s fat file day two
I woke up this morning not wanting to kill someone. I was calm, but didn’t have that comforting smile on my face thinking of the prospect of breakfast. Instead, I ironed. There was something about the steam from the iron and the awful smell from the ironing water that even made me hungry, seriously, what is wrong with me?

My stomach didn’t feel as if it was cut, from past experiences, the first couple of days is difficult but then you are OK, but then you dip and then you either crack open a bag of crisps or you continue being strong. I haven’t yet been strong.

I have been grateful to my lovely Bloggets who have offered me some good advice about not starving myself. I’m just trying for now to not eat bread at all and no crisps or food after six in the evening. Apart from a dish of cereal. No sugar so hopefully it’s OK but to go to bed with nothing will make my little sleep less.

Day two is better than half a day and that is all I have managed over the past few years. I went on the treadmill again today as well. I don’t run, I care too much about the foundations in our house.

If you are starting some kind of regime too, please let me know and see if we can do this together?

I want to live to see. Literally to see. How long it will take and will it be in my life time? Well if I continue to inflate, I will die early or not be healthy enough to benefit from the freedom of sight. Hub said if I die, he will follow, charming, no pressure love?

Boy Wonder of course is telling me that I’m not doing enough exercise, well I can’t be pushed. If I am pushed, I will fall. Day by day, who knows, by Wednesday, I may be writing to tell you that I have failed again? I really hope not, if I do, I have no hope.

Food just doesn’t turn me on at all. Sandwiches crisps chocolate I can eat until the cows come home, but cooked food? Naah! So, you can imagine how difficult it is to eat healthy. Well I have had two bananas today and loads of salad. But I had custard and some chips too with a veggie burger without the bread of course. No crisps cake or biscuits. Yesterday I worked out I had about 1200 calories less than I normally would, even if I have a thousand less per day, that is a lot in a week? I have had the worst head ache all day I should go and get a big glass of water? Urr’rr’rrgg.
I wish I was good at this, but I’m not, I know what to do, I have been on more diets over the years than a new Mother and ate as healthy as a fitness instructor and crash dieted like a super model.

But as the years added onto me the way of life has changed, my mind has developed bad habits and I can tell you, this is tough.

It’s seven in the evening, please let me get till midnight without failing?
Yours truly
Anxious fat Fi. X