My eyes are killing me. I just want to go to bed and sleep. I want to have no responsibilities like cleaning and cooking. My beautiful Waggatail has been out this morning and I played with her in the garden afterwards and she has been groomed. So, she can sleep now, when I went out earlier with my friend for lunch, she wouldn’t have slept and Boy Wonder has been home for lunch so she will have had time with him. He took her for a long walk yesterday and she now has no collar. I’m so cross. I asked him last night or this morning at half midnight, I even told him it was half midnight and hoped that he would get up and take Sham home, but no, the cheek of them both, they slept and he got up to take her home at half seven, went to the gym till half ten after having breakfast where she works and of course no time to look for her collar. He said he has work. I said I asked you when it was time to take Sham home, and asked you at half seven when you snook out of the house to drive her home before work. So why didn’t you make time to find it? It’s not just her play collar, but has her disc on for id. I don’t like her being without it in case she gets out and there are a load of people due this week. Also, it has her bells on and I need them for when she is in the garden, even things like when feeding her, she has to sit and wait for her dinner until I give her a command to go to her dish… It’s called respect and it’s better than jumping up at the dish knocking it out of my hands. It’s respect something that some people just don’t have these days. It sounds odd perhaps, but when her bells are on, I know when she is sitting and where she is. Even in the house. Now he’s not back until nine tonight, it will be a rush to get to Shamrocks not time to talk breathe anything. I wish they hadn’t took her last night. I was happy for Waggs as she would have loved it but the stress of the collar?
I had a nice time with my friend we went to lunch and caught up. She’s a lovely person, so sweet and we get on really well. I’m just sad I’m back and wish I could be with friends more but they all work and have very busy lives. Next time I see Geordie, is a trip to the eye hospital and that I am dreading, I love to see Geordie, she is a tonic but not to go to the hospital, though I’m so grateful to her because at least I won’t be sitting there on my own. And she has removed the stress of getting to the hospital on my own. Gosh, I feel sick though, I hate going there so much. I have bad memories of English eye hospitals. Well actually hospitals in general. And what will they be like? What will they say and will they give me any news? In general, they are so dam patronising. The last time I went the guy said how intelligent I was. Yep, and what about my eyes? I have honestly lost count on just how many Doctors have told me I’m intelligent. Not of course talking in the early days when they tried to convince my Mum I was sighted, just had learning problems and that is why I was tripping up and so on. But all sorts of Doctors as well as GP’s. what has that got to do with my eyes, hysterectomy or hernia? Smile. It’s as if they are shocked that I’m blind and have a brain.
Also, last time I was at the eye hospital, I had to have a flipping blood test and it was a Biggy too as they wanted loads of blood to use for trials and so on. Surely, they won’t need that this time? It’s the same blood… It’s so far from where we live I feel bad my friend has to drive all that way, but I will give her money for petrol of course, I just think her days would be spent better off not having to do this for me. That is my trouble, I hate asking for help and I actually didn’t she learned I was going and offered. But I feel guilty, I can’t do anything for her. Like my friend today, she always drives us to lunch, I wish I could do that for her and I hope one day I will be able to. Let’s see what happens in a couple of weeks.
So back to wanting to sleep. I have felt anxious for a couple of days and I think my body is in some kind of shock. I’m not sure if I am ready for this huge project we have with our kitchen. My Hub won’t be getting involved at all and it will be up to me to organise everything. Tomorrow I will pick the kitchen, I am not even sure Hub will be coming with me as he said he just can’t cope with it all. He has a huge brain, can deal with projects in the work place and budgets and at one time in his life had hundreds of staff under him. No, he wasn’t squashing them, I mean he was in charge of their work choices but getting him to move furniture? He freaks out. I have done a huge extension in my life where I even drew out the plans for it though I had no sight, long story. That was massive, it involved a very large room at the back of the house, a shower room, study and bedroom upstairs. This is a kitchen. But because it’s been nineteen years since I had sight, I’m losing confidents in the sighted world.
I can’t even find a bloody dog collar let alone sort our kitchen out. Also, we have never had luck with workmen apart from our old electrician, new one and of course our joiner. But other electricians, builders and even the company who did our conservatory, have gone bankrupt. So, I guess it’s a lot and it hasn’t even started yet. Not really.
So, will I go to wrest my head and mind? Or will I dust and mop then make dinner? Hmm. Let’s see, but I bet what I end up doing won’t involve a bed.
Some good news though, the friend I was with today, I’m seeing her again in a couple of weeks, so that will be lovely. Later from a grumpy Fi. X
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