Well, after a few weeks of words from a friends Mum, my Son and today my Hub, I have been told well and truly that I’m overweight and have to do something about it. I’m sick of hearing that it has to be something I, want, who wants to be overweight? Is it that easy? If so we would all have perfect figures.
So, I have tried not eating crisps for weeks as that is a weakness of mine, I have about five bags per week they are about 18g bags sometimes 25g. My biggest killer is bread I have between four and six per day. If I have potatoes as in mash I can’t eat them without butter. I use a low-fat spread, but have to have it. So, I have tried to not eat dinners at nights so I avoided butter. I have cut out biscuits I would have about a dozen per week biscuits like digestives not like American biscuits, they are like a small cookie. So as for cakes, well apart from when my friend brings a homemade cake where I have two slices in that week she bakes, when my friend Artie brings me an individual cake that is about every two months, and if I go to a coffee shop, which is about once every five or six weeks, so what I’m saying is that is all bad food, but doesn’t justify the amount I weigh. So, the only way to go is have nothing to eat all day and just try to eat dinner. Now those who know me know I struggle eating at nights there are too many reasons for that, too many to go into detail, but if it means I don’t eat full meals at nights too, then surely, I will lose weight?
Normally I would come downstairs on a Saturday and really look forward to a breakfast of a cup of tea and four slices of toast with butter. Then nothing until dinner time tonight. Not today. Today nothing. So, I’m grumpy. My stomach feels as if it’s been cut. Hub told me to have cereal. Very nice, but A, I can’t stand cereal in the mornings and B, once I start to eat in the mornings only, I want more. He said I’m making excuses now. Well, is he making excuses when he says he can’t eat before work? He said if he ate breakfast before work, he would feel sick all day, so is he making excuses? How come it’s OK for him to say he doesn’t like something and not me? Cereal I enjoy for supper, but not first thing. So, some fruit salad? I would love that as long as I knew something warm and salty was to follow. So, a hopeless case. That’s me. The only way I can try to lose weight is the way I used to do it years ago, and that is to crash diet. I will lose weight but of course then put double back on, unless I live like this all my life? Who knows one day I may get used to living on a dish of salad every day, at least I should, lose weight and feel better eventually? I mean, right now, I don’t feel fit and healthy. So, Hub is right, I’m wrong and I have to deal with it the only way I can and that is to starve myself. So, in the meanwhile, I shall be a grumpy Fi and have to keep out of the kitchen all day, well, this should be interesting how my Hub will cope for snacks as when he is off work I feed him. That is what I would have thought early this morning as I was getting a rightly deserved lecture. Until ten minutes ago, when Hub was rattling dishes in the kitchen. Then the smell came my way. Oh no, how cruel? He has only cooked himself two bacon sandwiches and of course being a veggie, I can’t eat bacon, but still long for the taste of it and the smell has made me even more hungry and grumpy, as Hub too needs to lose weight just not as much as me. It’s OK him telling me to have cereal, so why didn’t he this morning and not wave the delightful fragrance under my nose? Not a happy Fi.
Hub says do something to keep my mind away from food? It’s not my mind at the moment that wants to be near food, it’s my stomach. It really feels as if it’s been cut. My ribs are burning, but hey, it’s only day one. I guess I’m in shock as Hub has never really been bothered about me being overweight, he said his ex-wife was really too skinny and he didn’t find it attractive, but now he is saying he is worried about my health. As am I.
Yours truly
Fed up fat Fi
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